Not long after my 40th birthday I took my first ever two-week, totally off-the-grid vacation and went on a trip of a lifetime to South Africa and Zambia. When I told my boss at the time that I would be gone for two weeks and that I would not be checking email nor be accessible, he irately replied “I’ve been to Africa and they have the internet!”
It was a major act of rebellion on my part to disregard his disapproval and really unplug. You’d think that I was a pediatric surgeon from the way I was constantly on my email and phone, always accessible and “on call” but in reality I was just a media executive in charge of a bunch of producers, hosts and partners, none of whom needed me for medical, life-saving attention. But corporate culture can make you feel like a life is on the line and you must be available 24/7. We love to inflate the sense of importance and urgency of our jobs because it somehow justifies the time, energy and cost we pay to keep up the pace.
It was on this trip to the majestic South Luanga National Park in Zambia on an early morning drive where we silently witnessed a herd of elephants bathing in the river, playfully watching out for their young ones and moving together in their slow but deliberate ascent up the river bank that I felt a serenity and clarity that I had never experienced. I felt a connection to these elephants, to nature and my surroundings in a way that felt opposite to the disconnection I consistently felt in midtown Manhattan. It was the quietest place I’ve ever been and yet the message could not have been louder or clearer: Life is short. Go and live it. Don’t wait. I'm pretty sure it's what Oprah refers to as an "Ah-ha Moment".
It took a couple of years to save the money, figure out an exit plan that felt like I wasn’t abandoning my team and my family as I like so many women feel a responsibility to take care of everyone else first. But I did it. Exactly one year ago, I quit my “big” media executive job, gave up my apartment in Chelsea, moved my stuff into storage and began the journey of my solo travel adventure around the world aka “My Year of Joy”.
Many called this my Eat Pray Love trip, in homage to Elizabeth Gilbert’s memoir about how her personal crisis led to world travel and finding love. The book gave name to a movement that encouraged women to embark on their own hero’s journey. To be compared to Gilbert in any way is more than flattering, but I felt like my trip was different. I wasn’t escaping tragedy like divorce or death (although I suffered devastating losses of loved ones before leaving). My motivation for change was driven by a desire to reconnect to that feeling I had in Africa. Is it possible to experience joy and satisfaction that wasn’t connected to career goals or trying to make other’s happy? I searched for that feeling I had in Africa when my heart opened in ways that I didn’t know was possible and for the first time in my life, that feeling of openness and vulnerability did not completely freak me out.
I spend the majority of my travel time alone, which as a natural introvert, suits me very well. Many people, including some of my friends, are surprised when I reveal myself as an introvert. They’re used to seeing me in extroverted situations such as at work or around close friends, but all of that takes so much energy. The truth is that as a Korean immigrant whose mom married an American Navy man, we were always moving and throughout my entire youth, I was the new girl. I was most comfortable alone. So traveling alone didn’t intimidate me and I wasn’t afraid of loneliness or solitude.
I left the US on July 5th and I started this great adventure in Iceland. I spent an unbelievable summer traveling through 13 countries in Europe from Stockholm to Sarajevo, which was followed by a month in India, Sri Lanka and the next four months exploring Southeast Asia visiting Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, Myanmar and then Bali.
I signed up for a yoga and meditation retreat in Ubud because I have practiced on and off for years and it’s my favorite exercise. So my main priority during this week long retreat was to get some good downward dog in and stretch my travel-fatigued, stiff body. I spent a week at Blooming Lotus Yoga where the shala was straight out of a yoga magazine, open air facing the jungle, with khaki colored mats arranged in a perfect semi circle. There were about 20 women of all ages from all over the world in our yoga gear (my yoga clothes are also my hiking and walking clothes, as well as my pajamas).
The young and radiant yoga instructors looked like angels dressed in all-white and made extended eye contact with each of us. Both teachers (they taught separately but had the same message) declared in soft whispery voices “We love you guys so much” and asked us to introduce ourselves.
Ummmmm… ‘we love you guys so much’? I wanted to get up right then and there and politely but firmly let them know that I have to go. This is not my jam. I mean, I’m Korean. My mom and I didn’t exchange regular ‘I love you’s’ until I was like 30. Our culture isn’t exactly famous for emotional expression unless you count inflicting guilt. But I convinced myself to stay because I really did need the stretch.
We all shared our expectations and motivations as to what brought us here and despite our varied ages, races, countries and backgrounds, there were so many commonalities. Many were here to find peace, to heal, to mediate, and to do something for themselves for the first time. So I felt a bit guilty when it was my turn to speak because I have been spending the past nine months doing nothing but doing good for myself and I was really here for the physical stuff not the touchy/feely part. I told the women about my travels and discovered a few others were also traveling long term.
However, the more I revealed about myself and my experiences on this trip, and the more they shared their personal stories, the more I began to feel a connection to these women. My wall of emotional detachment was crumbling thanks to their genuine warmth, encouragement and constant compliments about my courage, humor and candid personality.
It was during this time that I realized just how much I missed my friends. For as much as emotional expression was an adapted skill with my family, it was different with my friends. I am incredibly fortunate to be a part of a tribe of some of the smartest, funniest, sharpest, kindest, and most supportive tribe of friends. I did not realize how much I needed to feel connected to my people. I mistook my introversion and independence as the dominant aspects of my personality, but the truth was that I also needed to feel the intangible but powerful connection to my friends and family. So it was therapeutic to form fast friendships and connections with the women from the yoga retreat. It was such a safe, supportive environment and it was kind of like adult summer camp. We shared stories about our families, careers, heartbreaks, travel, fears, and aspirations.
When one of my new friends told me she was going to see a Balinese healer, I asked if I could join her. That’s one of my favorite things about travel, the opportunity for spontaneous, unique cultural experiences. It turns out we were going to Nyoman, who happened to be the son of Ketut, the Balinese healer made internationally famous by Eat Pray Love, the movie and the film. Three of us went to see Nyoman together, Ashly a young beautiful and funny woman from California and Cathy a gorgeous Canadian who perpetuates the stereotype that all people from Canada are the nicest on Earth. We were excited to speak with Nyoman and were pretty much on the same page in terms of seeing the experience as something that would be fun and unique but not necessarily life changing.
Nyoman did not disappoint. He was exceptionally optimistic, a smile never left his face as we sat across from each other. The session included a brief introductory chat, but most of it centered around a palm reading and prediction of your future. The reading didn’t last long, but you do not need too much time as he can be a little challenging to understand and you are sitting on the floor with legs folded so if your feet start to fall asleep, it probably means it’s time to end.
Nyoman made a series of very positive and happy predictions of my future involving a loving husband, more travel, healthy long life and a couple of kids (I didn't have the heart to tell him that's probably not in my future). However, I found the most interesting prediction was about my career. He asked if I have ever been a singer. I laughed and replied only if I’m in the car or singing (drunk) karaoke. He responded “You should be singer. Or something with your voice. When you sing or talk, people want to listen. You very funny and charming. They want to know what you say.” I responded with my usual sarcasm (which rarely translates to other languages) that perhaps I could be the next K-pop (Korean Pop) star even though I have a terrible singing voice. Then I gave a more thoughtful reply, “well, I have always liked writing. Maybe my voice means writing?” He looked straight into my eyes, held my hands and said, “Yes! Write. Be happy; don’t be sad. Sad is bad. Be happy.” And the two of us giggled to seal the moment, I thanked him and left.
When we wrapped up our week of yoga and meditation, I was overcome with gratitude and positivity. I could see from our small group circle that everyone's faces were more radiant, relaxed and positive. During our final group circle, we shared our reflections from the week and how we wanted to carry this time forward. And when it was my turn, my sarcasm and emotional awkwardness were no longer present as I looked at these remarkable and generous women and declared “I love you guys”. I admitted that more than a good stretch, what I really needed was this chance to connect with these wonderful women, some of whom I know will be life-long friends. They made me feel closer to my family and my tribe who were on the other side of the world.
As I drove away from Blooming Lotus, I could feel Nyoman’s words reverberating through me. And so I am writing, and not just in my private journals, which I’ve done since I was five. I am sharing my voice. And who knows, perhaps my stories will lead to a hit song that I will debut as an international phenomenon as a middle-aged Kpop star. Or perhaps I will live up to Nyoman’s predictions to just Be Happy.
So the next time you have your own Ah-ha Moment and that voice beckons you to make a change in your life that seems completely counter to how you currently live, don't tune it out. Listen, explore and if you can, shift. If I've learned anything in this past nine months, it's that one small change begets another that then leads to greater change and before you know it, you're a completely different but amazing version of yourself.
!
For more stories from my time around the world, check out my blog http://whereintheworldissandy.com and follow me on IG @sassysandyg or Twitter @sassysandyg
wow!! this is beautiful indeed.... lovely writing and photographs
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Thanks so much! The world's a pretty incredible place and I feel lucky to have the chance to see so much of it!
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Absolutely incredible adventure! Thanks for sharing, upvoted and am following you.
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Thanks so much! It's been the best decision of my life.
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Hi Sassy!! Welcome to Steem =) I love your open and receptive attitude. Good job on unplugging for a bit! It's super important. I think we tend to not notice how much we are becoming wrapped up into a device. I am spending a LOT of time on the computer, Steem hasn't been helping in that regard :P
Anyway, I resteemed for you, looking forward to what you're writing.
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Awesome and thanks for the welcome! Spent a few days off the grid this week on an island in australia and it's so important to do it for mental sanity's sake!
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One small change begets another! Love this! Great post! Following and Upvoted
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Thank you! It's been a year of change!
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Wow, what a great experience this seems like. I'm so glad that you got to have these experiences and were able to share them with us. I'd love to hear more! I'm following & I upvoted! Maybe you could tell us a bit about the decision making process of actually leaving, what kind of debates did you have within yourself? What did you tell yourself that had kept you from leaving for so long? I'd be interested to know more details! & of course, i'd love more travel stories as well! Interesting opening photo by the way..... haha
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Thanks @chrissymchavez! I'm actually working on an Introduce Yourself post to answer some of those questions! So great questions. And yeah, seeing lions mate was one of the strangest, most uncomfortable and kind of coolest things I've ever seen.
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Haha I'll be looking forward to the Introduction post!! Also, small recommendation if I may, ,I'd add some headers in these posts just to break up the text a little bit and give readers those little breaks inbetween bigger blocks. Good writing, keep it up!
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Yes, I noticed that you did that in yours. Good tip. Thanks!
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No problem! Thanks for stopping by my post too! Great to meet ya :)
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Hey @chrissymchavez I did the post. Check it out when you have a chance. https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@sassysandyg/introduceyourself-sassy-sarcastic-korean-american-seeking-joy
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My dream trip is ireland
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Ireland is amazing! Friendly people, super green landscape and great beer! Check out my blog if you want to read about it.
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Thanks. I am fighting the urge to sell my steem and sail there this summer.
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Go for it! Sail to Dingle one of the most adorable towns in Irish coast!
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Seeing you in these far off places makes me miss you. <3 Jibblet
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Jibbbb! Miss you but will see you soon!
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I think it's cool you did this alone. I too am very comfortable doing things alone. not always, but my alone time is special to me. What a great adventure you had!
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Traveling solo is my favorite way to travel and I encourage everyone to Try t at least once.
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#BaliOhBali :) Good to see you had a fun time in my previous home for over 16 years. Greetings from Vienna
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HEllo in Vienna! Bali is a magical and amazing place. How awesome to live there for so long and now you're in another fab city!
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🌸🌸🌸☺️💫
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Just checked out your blog and following! Happy STEEMIT Bday - Upped!
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So nice to meet you. Reading your article made me feel home again
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Thank you! I appreciate your support!
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Last picture...Hanuman?
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It's traditional Balinese dance I saw in Ubud!
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I loved reading this! It's so great to hear about women traveling alone, since I feel like a lot of women are still hesitant to try it. Just a quick fyi: I would love to read your blog, but it looks like the link you posted is broken?
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I get asked all of the time if I feel safe traveling as a woman alone and the answer is yes! Sure I take precautions (don't walk around late at night and stay in areas with people, etc) but I've found generally the world is full of good people.
Thanks for the FYI on blog link! Working on it and will let you know!
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Blog link is working again! Thank you again for letting me know!
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These Type Of People are alive in today world.
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Sorry not sure I know what you mean?
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After reading your article I amazed that these type of people exist in the world.
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Thanks! You meet so many people of all ages, from all over the world who are exploring the world. It's remarkable. I like your story on Islamabad. Photos are beautiful.
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Thanx
you should write these type of article.
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Yes will do!
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Now Follow me.
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Done
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You have a beautiful voice in writing. I find that we sometimes become so consumed in what we think we need and when we finally realize what we really need it all just kind of falls into place. How it all falls into place, Not many have the gift of writing like you do. You have written it out very beautifully and I look forward to other writings!
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Thank you so much! Living out of a small bag for almost a year now and you realize just how little we "need". Life is about experiences and people. I feel incredibly lucky.
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Excellent post @sassyandyg! Quite the shockingg photo to start with...lol!
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Thank you! I know it was more shocking to witness in person! It's amazing how animal mating behaviors are not so different from humans! That lion is a king for many reasons! 🤣
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So great you had the courage to do this! let's face it, Manhattan is really the jungle!
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Manhattan is an amazing city but yes totally a concrete jungle. It's so great to be far from the noise and pace of it.
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Wow, great story and remarkably well written. I think you and Nyoman were on to something because it definitely seems like you found your voice.
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Thanks so much! Nyoman was absolutely hilarious and probably one of the happiest people I've ever met.
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