I had never been there before.

I was lucky though, I had some friends who were already well seasoned with the whole scene, and some friends of friends, who I also was told to look up.

It was early 2000's and I booked a 16 day return flight, the rest I left to destiny!. I had beer mats, no kidding there either, I had ripped in half beer mats, with hotels, bars and places or ideas where to stay, written or scribbled on them.

My luggage contained a toothbrush, some shorts, and boxer shorts, toothpaste and deodorant/after shave and shaver.

Bangkok!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had been advised to not stop in BKK, and took the advice onboard. I took a taxi from outside the airport direct to Pattaya, and considering it is around 100 miles, it was cheap at 1000 baht or around £20 or $25. Once at my pre determined hotel, that was fully booked and turned me away, I had to go plan b, make it up as I went along. I managed to find another hotel on Soi Diana a few streets away, it was like being in Beirut as my friend said, as everything in the room was falling apart, I have no idea though about Beirut as I have never been there.

Talk about a baptism of fire!

One of my friends of friends who always seemed a little lets say limp wristed, was on my contact list, and when I entered the first bar on my bar mat list "must go to" and asked anyone if they knew where he was, I was taken aback as a transgender ladyboy if you like, came running over screaming his name, the ladyboy also took me to his hotel (my friend of a friend), though he was out, the people behind the counter (reception) passed the door key to the ladyboy (that ended any doubt) LOL.

I returned back to the bar, and waited, whilst enjoying the sunshine and my new found place, it was excellent. Then along comes a guy named Ted, he was also on my bar mat list, Ted turned out to be anyone who goes to Thailand for the first times dream. Ted had hired a jeep with no roof, and along with another young guy called simply mez, took me a tour around his favorite bars in Pattaya.

Within a few hours I had been fondled by 10 half naked women, kissed by even more, half raped in a gogo bar, and accosted by over a few hundred girls, I had fallen in love with my new reality, that was Thailand, and anything goes, as long as you can afford to pay for it!

I had a photo taken every day, with one of those instant Kodak cameras, with my "girl" for the day. Yes they make money from taking your photo with your new love, and sometimes even employ a snake or a monkey for the shot.

Another intriguing thing about Thailand, for me at least, was the elephants and people keeping them. As they would bring them to bars, and sell you food to feed the elephants. I went one step further and got them to take me to the shop to buy some smokes, sat on the back of the elephant, cruel maybe, I don't know.

It was one of the best times in my life.

The funny thing about Thailand is you literally walk out of your normal life, and step into a dream. I have met all sorts of characters in Thailand, way too many to talk about here. And if you need a get away from reality, there simply is no better place to go, as long as you have a big fat wallet, and a sense of reason to not get conned!

I had over 25 women in 16 days! eh come on, I was just a young man who liked it.

Honestly that is all I want to write for today, so part 2 coming soon, maybe tomorrow.