Better job.... more money....bigger house.... nicer car.... fancier clothes.... expensive vacations.... these are all the things everyone seems to strive for, that if we achieve these goals we will be happier. But is it really true???
I spend endless hours trying to somehow have a balance between being a good teacher, which means spending more hours on creative lessons and pretty charts, trying to be a good wife and dedicate attention and quality time to my husband, spend time with family, reach out to friends and lend a listening ear, maintain a clean household, cook dinner, and somehow keep myself healthy and fit ( my biggest struggle) all while keeping a smile on my face! But our fur babies make it all so much easier!! ( I guess this is how people feel about their kids...)
Tongues out is clearly the new picture trend
So my husband and I both work full time jobs and he's still in school. I feel like we have been working forever and we just aren't closer to our goals. Our savings account...ehhh... let's not go there, our cars... yes we are fortunate to have two cars but they are both pretty old and about to die so when that happens I'm sure you'll hear another rant. And as I drive around in my old Mazda, I stare in awe at all the pretty cars and really struggle with my inner fight : should I just spend $600 a month on the Audi I have convinced myself that I need and I will be so much happier with? but then how will we ever save for a house? and the struggle just goes on...
(My dream car <3)
I feel like the next two "milestones" we have to accomplish soon are having a baby a buying a house and I have to tell you these two items cause me soooo much anxiety. I'm not trying to be a negative Nancy but lets says we find a house for 400k which would be like the top of our budget, a budget I'm just assuming we could get to. We are no where near having a 10% down payment and that would be a small house in a not such great neighborhood since we live in NY... ugh! I just can't imagine how long we will have to save in order to reach this goal.
And yet, as I spend endless hours on zillow and trulia, I gagagoogoo over houses that are like 700k and I think: if only we could afford that I would be soooo happy, but would I really? Probably not because if 700k was in reach, I would say that if I could only have that million dollar home by the lake, then we would really be happy.
(We drove through West Nyack one day and I fell in love...)
I could go on and on about the daily struggles I have with my self: what do I want and what do I need? What I really want to know is how to stop this? How to just be content with what I have? but then I think... am I just settling?.... I can have better....I have to be a go getter... It has to make our lives better.
Okay rant over..... because then when I look back at this I always think: we don't even have children, how can I complain? Because I can't even imagine all of this plus a screaming baby ... We still have our freedom to do whatever we want, whenever we want and even though our traveling is not as often as I like, I can't act like we've done nothing...
(We are actually in that hot air balloon! My husband surprised me on our 1 year wedding anniversary)
Will our quest for better ever end?