Travelman in Malaysia: Roller coaster in a mall and t-shirts in Chinatown in Kuala Lumpur.

I didn't feel like doing anything yesterday. Well, I did, I was just too lazy to plan anything. But have no fear! Even nothing is something when you're backpacking around the world!

They call me, TRAVELMAN!!! Dat-Da-Dah-DAHHH (Superhero pose) ...Ok, truth be told, nobody calls me that, except maybe on steemit. In real life I mostly get called, "That guy from America."

What do Americans do in Kuala Lumpur when they have nothing to do? The same thing they do in the states when they've watched everything in their Netflix queue, AND their Amazon Prime queue; they go shopping!

I don't like to buy things so I merely pretended to go shopping. I don't consume THINGS, I consume EXPERIENCES... and pretend to be a pretentious asshole by writing things like that. Anyway, that's why I went to Chinatown! -"Back off man, or I'll take you down! I'll take you downtown! I'll take you to Chinatown!"

I went because it's less than a ten minute walk from my hostel. Every conversation I've had with every backpacker in KL about Chinatown has gone like this-

"Oh, you went to Chinatown? Did you like it?"

"Meh. It wasn't really anything."

"Yeah, I wasn't impressed either. But it was something to do."

(By the way "KL" is the cool backpacker lingo for Kuala Lumpur. Next time you're making up a lie about having been here, call it KL and it will sound more believable.)

So that's it. Chinatown is close and it's SOMETHING instead of nothing, so you go. And while you're there you can pick up a silkscreen t-shirt of a busty lady or a buff beefcake positioned honorably in front of the American Flag

Nothing says class like these fine fashions available in Chinatown today! Perfect attire for the sophisticated uncle attending his nephew's first communion or niece's quinceanera. Really, a perfect gift for any occasion. I'll pick one up for you if you like.

After Chinatown, I wandered over to the central market. It's basically across the street. It's what it sounds like, outdoor stores and indoor stores, located centrally. The indoor stores are better. Not because of what they sell but because of what they do; they air condition the air! Did I mention it's humid outside? It is.

While you're visiting the central market, you can have your portrait painted from a photo you provide. Again, a perfect gift for any occasion (Family, you'll be getting painted portraits of me for Christmas, tasteful nudes.)

This is apparently a good business to be in. This guy's shop was one of about ten in a cubby adjacent to the air conditioned stores.

I decided to walk to a mall that the bus had dropped me off at when I arrived in KL. It was about fifteen minutes away. I got over confident and didn't map it. I simply walked in the general direction I thought it was in. After a couple minutes I was feeling pretty impressed with my innate sense of direction (gotta be able to get back to the village after the hunt). I even started to see familiar landmarks after about twenty minutes... Like my hostel.

Yep, I thought I was walking away from it until I saw it in front of me. Which brings up another point. Even with GPS I get lost.

The stupid little arrow on my phone faces the wrong way. And secondly, it doesn't keep up with me, so when I come to a turn and I'm not sure if the blue line is a left turn or a right turn, or a soft left or hard left, I don't know if I'm going the wrong way until I'm two blocks in the wrong direction. Stupid GPS, not holding my hand and leading me.

I'm not the only one! Other backpackers have vouched for this and laughed along with me. How pathetic have we become as a species that even when we're holding something in our hand telling us where to go, we still go the wrong way. God must be smacking himself on the forehead when he watches us. It's like we need the magic sidewalk that Michael Jackson walks on in the Billie Jean video to show us where to go...

In case you don't know the video and because I'm desperate for you to get the joke...

########################################################################################################################### Outside the hostel, I ran into Timon from Sweden. The previous evening he'd said he was going to go to see about a rollercoaster inside a mall. It was a different mall than the one I'd been looking for. He was heading out the door so I went with him. ... ... Because it's a rollercoaster!! In a mall!!!!

The mall was giant. It took us a while to find the coaster. The Berjaya Times Square mall is ten floors, and most of those floors are as big as any normal mall. It has an area called Central Park. Their websites claims that it "embodies the charm of Central Park in New York." I beg to differ...

After loooking for a bit, we began to doubt whether we had the right mall. We asked a couple workers that didn't speak English for directions. Instead of directions we were given quizzical looks and head shakes. It's hard enough asking where something is when you're not sure how good their English is, but even harder when you're not quite sure if you're in the right mall and you're asking where the rollercoaster is. (Go ahead. Next time your'e in the mall, walk up to someone and ask them where the rollercoaster is. Then say, "You know, Rollercoaster?" And put your hands up in the air miming like you're going up and down the track. The Gap employee will think you're nuts, and offer you an application.)

We found it by following the screams. Timon said, "Wait, did you hear that? ...Rollerecoaster screams." His face bloomed with hope.

I listened. There it was again, the sound of traveling screams and a rolling rumble. We followed the traveling screams and rolling rumbles.

We found it! The indoor theme park! We didn't ride the coaster because you had to pay an entrance fee to the entire "theme park" which wasn't much of a "park" -more of a theme "rich kid's backyard birthday party" (A very rich kid and a perfect occasion for you to wear your busty-lady silkscreen t-shirt).

About 45 seconds...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The mall also had this cool floor... ########################################################

About 20 seconds...

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

And a piano key staircase. If it was ""musical" you could only call it free jazz...

30 seconds but you get the idea in the first three...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

As always, thanks for coming by! We hope that you have enjoyed the show, and I'm sorry but we do not validate parking.

Please upvote, resteem, and tattoo https://steemit.com/@travelman across your lower back (a winged border, like Aerosmith's, is optional). And check out my other posts, they won't change your life, but they're pretty cool.

!steemitworldmap 3.1424 lat 101.7106 long Travelman finds a rollercoaster in a mall d3scr