You probably expect this to be a juicy post where I divulge all of my secrets of what drove me to alcoholism.
And I will tell you. But it’s not that juicy. And it’s not a long story.
The short answer is this: bugs.
Bugs drove me to alcoholism because sometimes foreign bugs are crazy. They’re like an army of tiny gremlins that have genetically evolved...
...into untouchable superbugs, resistant to all futile human attempts to ward them off.
I'll explain how alcohol ties into this, but first, a warning. The info in this may not be entirely accurate, because, well, my memory sometimes can't be fully trusted.
And I'm writing this post because I got inspired by @olawalium when he did a throwback post last week.
Sometimes it's fun to relive old memories, and hey... maybe you can learn something about protecting yourself from bugs while traveling!
First tip: Always use protection!
You'd think that bug spray would be good enough protection. But oh no.
Not in Mexico.
The superbug struggle was real.
I think those bugs were eating too many magical beans (you know the beans, beans, the magical fruit song? hehe) that were making them stronger because bug spray would NOT keep them away.
I had been in Mexico for about an hour...
...when a literal army of bugs attacked.
They just gobbled me up!
These weren't any ordinary bug bites.
Oh no, they were super-bug bites.
Guess how long they lasted for?
Guess!
Ok, I'll tell you. 7 weeks!!
I was in Mexico for only 5 weeks, which means I had to look like acne-legs for over a month.
I'm sure anybody who has an inclination towards being slightly on the shallow side would not have befriended me (based on the horrendous site of my legs alone).
The itch was unreal.
I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep.
Ok, fine. I could eat. I can always eat.
But sleep was hard to come by...
...and I couldn't stop the itch!
I had heard that alcohol was supposed to help.
So, even though I didn't drink alcohol, I bought the cheapest bottle of cacique I could find, and rubbed it all over my legs.
I smelled like I stayed up all night partying...
...and I'm sure that gave some people the wrong first impression of me, haha.
I was addicted to the stuff.
Putting alcohol on my legs every 10 minutes trying to dry these suckers out.
It didn't work. My alcoholism was doing me no good. Then one day, my new friend told me she was tired of looking at the ugly bumps on my legs every day.
That's when I had a bright idea.
Why not kill 2 birds with 1 stone?
Have you ever had a chigger bite? You know how the remedy is to paint your bites with clear nail polish?
Well.
I didn't have any of that with me... but I DID have some pink nail polish. Maybe pink would work to help relieve my itch!
So, I whipped out my tiny travel bottle and made the transition from alcoholism to getting high off of paint fumes.
I started painting every single bug bite I could find.
I even ended up connecting the dots sometimes to see what kind of picture I could make out if it (yeah, I know, I need to get a life).
This was the end result:
Not only were my legs itch-free...
...but they were now also pretty!
My friend didn't have to stare at ugly legs anymore!
AND... bonus points... I made even MORE friends. Because, when I walked down the street, they ended up being a great conversation starter (unplanned side effect).
If you're ever lonely in a foreign country...
Maybe you could paint your legs and arms. I'm sure SOMEONE will ask you about it, and you'll have an excuse to talk to them, if you're shy.
Now, I didn't want to continually get bit by more bugs, so I had to figure out the best way to keep them away.
I asked several local Mexicans and I don't know if they were pulling my eaten-up leg. But their answer to my question wasn't what I was expecting.
They said to put shampoo on my legs.
Shampoo!!!
So, I did it. Every day. And guess what??
It worked!
No more bug bites!
Except for the ugly ones that were now sporting their new pink makeover on my legs!
If you're ever traveling, and your bug spray doesn't seem strong enough... just remember this lesson through me. Use shampoo and you'll be okay.
I wish I knew about the shampoo trick when I stayed at a place with bed bugs.
I thought the bed bugs I had were specially trained by Dracula himself! When I covered up my body so that they can't bite me, they started to bite my FACE!
Hopefully they didn't hitch a ride to your next destination.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
LOL trained by dracula himself!! Bed bugs are the worst!! I stayed at a place with them once too.... luckily these weren't bed bugs bites!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Lol this is so awesome :) Next time use Vang paint?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Haha yes of course!!!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Hahahaha. Your title did the trick, in deceiving me about what I feel you wanted to talk about to what you actually talked about. This is nice and you always have a way of making me laugh. How fun it would be laughing with you till we have 58-70 of those children we agreed on. Hahaha.
I recently learned bugs in Mexico are crazy. My two friends there complained of the same and the itch wasn't nice, as well as the bumps. I can only imagine it. One need to get prepared always with them and I now know what to recommend to them if those bugs come knocking.
Thanks a lot dear.
PS: Your legs are so pretty. Yaaaay!.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
hahahaha 58-70?? Oh man, you made it higher without me even knowing it!! So funny. I bet next time you will have it up to 93!!!
I'm glad I'm not the only one who had crazy Mexican bug experiences! Seriously, only in Mexico. Nowhere else.
Thanks for showing me throwback thursday!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I am happy you joined in too. There are so many things i can show you, hahaha, like how to withstand 70. Hahaha.
So excited about meeting you.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Haha oh no... It sounds like you already have 70 that you've practiced with!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Hahahahaha just like you have 58 that you have practiced with. You see, we are not too far from each other. This love is perfectly orchestrated. Hahahaha. You are so much fun
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Hahahah, we learn so much from mistakes at times... Lol
Love the paint on your leg, it is smell good thanks that of alcohol...lol
If I happened to see you walking round the street with those paints, I will definitely try to say hi... Lol
Glad you were able to overcome bugs through shample..lol
I'm sure, the Mexican would have become so tough for the bug that's why the bugs were seriously bugging on you... Lol
Just look at the number of bites on your leg alone, if not for the shample, they want to finish the leg... They are are not taking it easy at all... Hahaha
Always remember your shample next time you are traveling too.... Hug
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
hehe hey!! thanks for stopping by again :) lol they were bugging on me!!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
My pleasure....
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I love this traveltips.
The bugs were giving you a warm welcome to mexico, so that you will have a memorable stay. Guess what? Their effort worked, you REMEMBERED.
ALL THANKS TO THE BUGS.
BTW, did you take any pictures when you were super skinny due to that bug invasion?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
hahaha you are so funny! I think I need to re-train the bugs on what it means to give a warm welcome.
I was actually sort of not skinny then. I actually got fat in Mexico. I think I'm skinnier now than I was then!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
:)
You look amazing.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I have heard of the alcohol getting rid of the itch , but never shampoo
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
yeah, the shampoo thing is crazy, right? It worked I'm not even kidding. Oh, except for the time I went to Zumba class and worked out so hard that my legs were sweating and then the shampoo started SUDSING!
I got bubbles on my legs during class! 😂
You can't even make this stuff up lol
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
That would only happen to you. HAHAHA
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
That’s crazy !
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
😃
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
"It was a woman that drove me to drink. . . and I never had the decency to write and thank her." --W.C. Fields
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
"I must add, that I think perhaps I could teach those ol' mexicans a trick as I also carefully condition afterwards before blow drying." <---omg 😂 😂
LOL that needs to be a tagline. B/c we're worth it...and bugs aren't. Haha thank you for making my story that much better.
Where in Thailand is home for you?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
oh man lol that's detailed! I was in Thailand, pretty near your area for a week, actually!
No way!!!! You have to do visa runs with a marriage visa?!? That's nuts! How often do you have to go?
Sounds like a good location since you can so easily hop to other places
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
You're a traveller so I thought you may know the area lol...every 3 months I have to go out which is good to be honest as it stops me being lazy and sitting on my arse and you're right, its a perfect location near the airport and 20mins from Mo Chit bus station. I think in 7 years I've maybe been to downtown Bangkok just a dozen times, mainly to sort the wife's visas out.
I really don't like central Bangkok.
Where's the favourite place you've travelled ?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit