Well this really hit the nail on the head with some recent things we have been dealing with.

First of all, I must say I used to be that toxic family member to my own family. I was bitter and hurt from the past and would often lash out at my parents because they were the only ones there. I used to be so wrapped up in partying that I would do anything to escape my pain and uncomfortable feelings. Even if it was overworking, choosing behaviors that did not serve my higher good. Then for years I would blame my parents for my life.

I finally choose to step into the light and into my high self and take responsibility for my life. This was years ago, and it took me years to admit my part. You know how my family dealt with it? They loved me, set healthy boundaries and never abandoned me or gave up on me. They apologized for their part and kindly asked me to be responsible for mine.

I’m so grateful my family gave me the space to grow, loved me through it all, and now that we have a wonderful relationship. And I have a wonderful relationship with myself too... I love and accept myself, all of me.

Recently, we have had some issues with some members of @amvanaken’s family. It really triggered me for him to experience that kind of toxicity, especially when we were both feeling vulnerable. We have made huge changes in our lives the last year, and we are still morphing and adjusting. The toxicity of this family member was painting the situation completely different and trying to shame us and tell us we are wrong.

Also, it is only their way or the highway. A week before Anjel was born I was texting back in forth on the way to work being barraded by texts trying to bash @amvanaken. I was defending him, us, and then found myself begging for it to end. We have a beautiful boy on the way, why are we arguing over silly stuff? In my mind, I’m like why are you trying to shame him and bash him?

The conversation ended with us being told there’s would no longer be any communication. I was so upset, how could they abandon us at this pivotal time? How could you do this to Anjel? Doesn’t he deserve to come into a world of peace?

I was so upset, and then I realized, even if someone is family it doesn’t mean they have to be a part of your life. My people pleasing side was up in full effect and I found myself wanting to beg for forgiveness for something I didn’t even do..

After mediating on it, I realized our family was what matters, what we choose to cultivate in our relationship and home. I also found all the astrological alignments and happenings led to many people disappearing if they are not in alignment. I had to truly accept that and put my people pleasing, codependent tendencies to rest.

If something is meant to be, it will be, no need to force it.

In the end, we chose the high road, the high self road. Where we can love from afar and don’t need to subject ourselves to unnecessary suffering.