I don’t realize what it is but once I’m depressed, apart from just staring in a glazed way at the fingerprint embellished screen of my MacBook seasoned watching the identical episodes of 30 Rock on repeat, the handiest thing I need to do is store.
An extra astute person would say that I feel like I’m in a position to shop for happiness. That through filling my goal basket with candles and kooky smartphone instances and numerous bags of sweet I’m hoping to get yanked out of feeling absolutely apathetic the second I input my pin. That I’m difficult one damaging behavior (self-loathing, worry of rejection, being numb, wanting to simply sit down and sulk) with any other (spend spend spend). That in preference to treating myself, I’m “treating myself” with the wrong time table.
but today I’m not that astute individual. nowadays, I’m no longer making the ones acknowledgments.
So there i am, wandering thru the aisles of Sephora even as Robyn blasts above me.
simply me and my melancholy, out searching out a few lipstick to make us experience higher while name Your female friend plays on.
maybe a Sephora collection Cream Lip Stain in ‘pretty Beige’ will make me enthusiastic about getting off the bed within the morning. That model of me will wash my hair extra than as soon as per week and enjoy working out and not accomplish that always below protest. She thinks first dates are a laugh and thrilling and truly receives excited for other human beings’s accomplishments.
perhaps ‘pretty Beige’ me didn’t binge consume snack luggage of Chili Cheese Fritos due to the fact she was in order that bored and sad and couldn’t shape a coherent concept so she decided stuffing her face became first-rate.
Or perhaps skincare. sure. That’s the price tag. It’s impossible to be depressed while you’re in ownership of the GlamGlow mask that each beauty blogger instagrams with the caption #selfcare #selflove. This peel off, absurdly blue masks will now not best revolutionize my pores, but my mind.
The me that snapchats herself in an highly-priced face mask (however worth it because #selfcare #selflove) has no purpose to be unhappy so she received’t be. She is aware of higher. She knows that so long as you deal with your self and love your self you’ll by no means wake up with the impulse to cease your activity and circulate into your mother and father’ basement. It’s selecting to be satisfied! It’s as easy as that!
If my masks and my lipstick received’t cure it, highlighters are constantly there. although I feel like a rubbish pail at the internal and like everything is too much i can constantly placed a lot shimmer on my face you’ll instinctively say, “She just lighting fixtures up every room.” only a little bit of Ambient light on my cheekbones and under my brow bones and nobody will suspect I haven’t slept soundly in 5 days.
There’s no way a me with highlighter, clear pores, and a flawless pout thinks about loss of life even on Friday afternoons when the sun’s out.
“That’ll be 124.72. Are you a VIB member with us?”
positive am. And wow, could you study that.
All that point, all that perusing, all the ones products, all that Robyn, and that i’m still me. I’m now not someone else.
and that i still don’t feel higher.