SONG PARODY - Where is Molly Dolly this Christmas?

I realize most Steemit readers won't know what this is about, but I write song parodies about a certain Youtuber named Troy Reid, who also has a Steemit account here. He is a FAUX homesteader, prepper, off-gridder, survivalist, etc. and in reality an e-beggar, scam artist and liar. If you want the full story, go to www.thedoityourselfworld.sucks

WHERE IS MOLLY DOLLY THIS CHRISTMAS? (to the tune of "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas")

Where is Molly Dolly this Christmas?
She's been AWOL for a year
Her fat rolls would scare off trolls
and keep my homestead from fear
Where is Molly Dolly this Christmas?
I always had her near
I'll lay low if there's an inch of snow
and sip my warm near-beer

Oh no, the camel toe
Mel, don't dress like dat
Take a fashion tip from me
and wear a stinky hat

Where is Molly Dolly this Christmas?
I need legal help, my dear
Where'd you go, my pro bono
Make the trolls scatter in fear
Where is Molly Dolly this Christmas?
Trolls drive up and down my street
I'm in a rage with my 12 gauge
I'm just trying to shoot some meat

Oh no, my Pinay ho
Mel, you're getting fat
salt and grease and pantry food
and rotten deer meat, look at dat!

Where is Molly Dolly this Christmas?
I could use another teat
Please join Steem and help my team
and upvote posts for me
Where is Molly Dolly this Christmas?
Done left me in the lurch
Maybe she had enough of me
and my creepy church!

Oh no, the cheesy toast
Mel's cooking is for the birds
But at least she didn't make
deer backstrap that looks like turds

Where is Molly Dolly this Christmas?
I feel the end is near
CPS has their sights on us
and Doc is on my rear
Where is Molly Dolly this Christmas?
Legal help ain't free
The gang at .sucks say I'm a cuck
But it's all about meeeeeeeee