The Software Piracy Chronicles of Slobberchops (The THG Years) – Part Twenty Two

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This series is dedicated to my friend ‘The Pieman’ who hosted ‘THE P.I.T.S’ BBS in New York City and sadly passed away in 2016. I know his son ‘Blake’ will be reading this sequence of stories with anticipation.

We will never forget you man, you were one of a kind.

Also I would like to say a big thank you to Fabulous Furlough, ex-leader of ‘The Humble Guys’ who helps me fill in the gaps of what happened almost 30 years ago, The Slavelord who has given me a plethora of memories from the early days and to Suicidal Tendencies (@trolleydave) who remembers more about the UK scene than me.

The Software Piracy Chronicles of Slobberchops (The THG Years) is a continuation of my previous series, The Software Piracy Chronicles of Slobberchops.

I was once known as 'Bryn Rogers', a member of THG (The Humble Guys).

April 1993

During this time we had many conferences, that is Hi.T.Moonweed would call me and there would be several people on the line, some whom I didn’t know.

Sometimes these could get deadly boring and I would intentionally kick up my SNES and start playing something with the volume too loud. The conference leader would get all pissed off and then kick the perpetrator which occasionally was me.

…’If they are talking boring shit then I didn’t want to listen anyway’…

Conferences were nothing new; The Slavelord revealed to me their group once called Buckingham Palace.

Buckingham_Palace_from_gardens,_London,_UK__Diliff_cropped.jpg
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We used to run alliance's (teleconference calls with up to ~20 people) daily, I remember we once called Buckingham Palace and asked to speak to ‘the old lady with the crown’ just for grins and giggles. It was all stupid sophomoric stuff – The Slavelord.

I was parley to at least one of The Slavelord’s conferences, though it may have been a little earlier than 1993.

Maximum Overdrive & Crash Impact

Then this kid turns up on our local conferences named 'Crash Impact'. He was a 16-year-old Canadian and ran a BBS named 'Maximum Overdrive' in Toronto.

For a while it was Hi.T.Moonweed, Hydro, Me and ‘Crash’ all chatting about the usual shit that was going down in the pirating scene. He was a decent enough kid but really green behind the ears and desperate for some attention and scene respect.

...'this was a errrr.. different Maximum Overdrive'...

His life’s ambition was to join THG, but we had other ideas.

‘Lamers of Power are looking for a Canadian HQ’, I casually mentioned one day trying to stifle the laughter.

I could visibly see Hi.T.Moonweed and Hydro doing the same down those phone lines.

'I don't know man, I wanna join THG', a doubtful sounding Crash Impact came back.

'but Lamers of Power are elite d00dz, surely you have read the NFO files?', I continued not wanting to give up.

On impulse, I called Maximum Overdrive using the Demon's Forge' second line and applied for an account as 'The Power Lamer'.

'Bryn, you will not believe this but The Power Lamer just logged on', Crash exclaimed excitedly.

'Well, how about that, this is a sign he subliminally knows you are interested in joining Lamers of Power', I retorted with some enthusiasm.

'He's an ambitious dude and his English is getting better', I added as an afterthought, 'are you chatting with him?'

...'actually..., the Power Lamer's English did not ever get any better'...

'Yeah man, he wants me to join Lamers of Power', groaned Crash.

'I told him I would think about it', he replied to ME as I casually typed, 'WES ARE EXPANDNGS IN CANDA YOUS BE ELIT D00DZ TODAYS!!!'

'Go for it', chimed in Hi.T.Moonweed knowing exactly was what going on. He knew my wind up tricks only too well by this point.

…’despite the initial excitement that a ‘Euro’ was calling his BBS, he wasn’t going to give up on those lofty ambitions quite so easily’…

'Yeah you have to start somewhere, this could be your big break and will earn your loads of respect. Think of the kudos The Power Lamer can give you', I added in my best serious voice.

'You know he wrote the guide to k00lness and we all gained lots of insight on how to avoid becoming Lamers by reading that'

...'the LOP Guide to k00lness was probably the pinnacle of the Power Lamer's career. Many lamers became elite overnight simply by reading this. The Power Lamer went to to crush worlds and at other times simply crushed arse'...

‘He's a German Elite d00d, I read it over 15 times and each time I learn more new shit', I added trying to sound as enthusiastic as I possibly could.

By this time strange noises were coming down the phone line. I could tell that both Hydro and Hi.T were struggling to keep it together.

'I dunno man' he kept repeating.., 'I dunno'…

I felt we were breaking down his resolve piece by piece and it was now a matter of time.

We figured he may eventually be persuaded and Crash Impact never actually found out that I was The Power Lamer.

However, Maximum Overdrive was to become the Lamers of Power Canadian Headquarters the very next day due to an error on his behalf.

…’never trust an anarchist’…

Hi.T.Moonweed had been delegated the reasonability of co-sysop on Crash’s BBS and that would prove to be a poor decision.

While he would never exactly wreck Maximum Overdrive or format C:, other things were always possible.

...'Crash Impact did join Lamers of Power as the 'US HQ' but with a Toronto number and not by choice. Why don't you give this eLiTe BBS a kawl?'...

Hi.T waited until Crash ‘crashed’ then duly spent several hours converting Maximum Overdrive into the Lamers of Power Canadian Headquarters, complete with banners, logos, and intro screens.

I had no idea he was about to do this until the next day. I don’t think Crash Impact ever spoke to any of us again.

To be continued...

All images have been cited and are under the category 'Labelled for Reuse' or are in the public domain.

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.NFO files courtesy of the .NFO libraries at https://defacto2.net

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meesterboom (78) · 5 years ago

Poor teenage Canadian, just wanting to impress and being humped up the muck by the big boys!!

$0.03

1 vote

slobberchops (74) · 5 years ago

LOL, it was one of my most memorable times.., and let's face it.. The Power Lamer.. was an eLiTe d00d?!

Hahaha, ah the bygone patter still elicits a lol!!

$0.00

I can't find any trace of the Crash version of Maximum Overdrive on defacto2.net.. the premier repo of old piracy stuff.

He must have died and faded away after this. The potential..., to become a US HQ... sheesh... he threw it all away!

See the things which are almost lost to history because they were at that time just before the internet proper. It's horrifying!

I do need to contact the owner of defacto and tell him about this series.

He loves anything related to that period and I have sent him stuff in the past. I know Fabulous Furlough has donated old material in the past.

bozz (70) · 5 years ago

You guys were pretty ruthless it sounds like. At least you weren't out running the streets like a bunch of hooligans! Sounds like it was some good times back then!

We were rampaging the phone system instead, good times and memories!

haikubot (54) · 5 years ago

We were rampaging
The phone system instead, good
Times and memories!

^{- slobberchops}

^{^{I'm a bot. I detect haiku.}}

steddyman (43) · 5 years ago

LoP WAS leet. My favourite hacking group.

That was cruel on Crash though. A guy with ambition like that could have been useful to you.

They are all over the internet, never to be forgotten, LAMERS OF POWER!

steem-plus (73) · 5 years ago

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The Software Piracy Chronicles of Slobberchops (The THG Years) – Part Twenty Two

Maximum Overdrive & Crash Impact

To be continued...

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Earn Passive Manna by simply signing up for it here. Mannabase is a Universal Basic Income Cryptocurrency

Earn STEEM and digital cards while playing STEEM Monsters, the best game on the STEEM Blockchain here.

Earn JSECoin buy simply creating an account and Mine while you browse here