HELP!!! I'm abducted!!!

in truth •  7 years ago 

Dear Steemit community, I desperately need your help!

Two of the very respectable members of Steemit are keeping me as a hostage, and want to take advantage of me!!!

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I somehow managed to get to my computer while they're away and to write this call for help!

It all started as an innocent call to visit their town in Germany for the weekend and ended as a nightmare...

"You should definitely come and visit us for the weekend!"


"Why not?", I thought to myself, it would be nice to go to Germany, I've never been there, to hang out with nice people and try some delicious traditional German food.

It was all good at the beginning of the first day, @suesa was showing me town and we took a long walk in a nice, sunny day. Of course, it was all a scenario to gain my trust...

All of the sudden, @reggaemuffin appeared from nowhere (they were in this together!) and they force me into this phone booth, locked and left!

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I didn't know what to do, I couldn't get out, or call for help, I tried to read some of the books, but they were all in German (like the horror wasn't huge enough already)!!

Then they started giving me high doses of freshly prepared drug mixture, which are specialty of @reggaemuffin:

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I had to drink all of these!!!

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Then something even worse happened - @suesa revealed that she's actually a man and that HE is working for the Big Pharma, and that HE and @reggaemuffin have plans to sell me to the mad scientists working there so they can conduct terrible experiments on me!!!

Of course, you can imagine how much money will they get for me!

"But she's too skinny, they said they want something with more meat..."


They knew that Big Pharma won't be interested in paying a good amount of money for skinny girl like me, so they decided that they should start force-feeding me!!!

I had to eat all of these awful German sausages:

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And then these horrible Nutella Knödel!!!

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And they will keep it coming until I put on some serious weight, so they can finally sell me to evil Big Pharma!!!


Someone please come to my rescue! ASAP!!!

I mean, as soon as you are available...

After you finish all your daily routines of course...

Maybe you can grab some diet Coke on your way, I really need one...

Actually, you don't have to hurry, really starting to like all these awesome foods!

Nah, forget it, I'll just stay in here...


Since today is the 1st of April, whole this post of course was an April fool’s joke! I'm safe and sound and having lots of fun!
Hope you all enjoy these holidays as much as I do!

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I was kind of hoping @suesa was working for Big Pharma, with access to all those wonderful drugs... Happy April Fools Day! Oh, and for the record, I love German sausage! :)

I'm sorry for you, all that food and fun, terrible.

I knew I should have cut the internet ...

Even the brightest criminal minds make mistakes :)

Guess I need to correct that now ...

I was suspicious how you wrote about the Cephs with so many details :D

Shhhhhh

I see you allredy got your food and culture punishment. Whatever you do, DO NOT get abducted in Germany during Octoberfest. Some seriously mad fun. The whole country is pouring beer down your throat in ridiculous quantities trying to kill(?) you. /sarcasm of course.

Oh I think I'm stuck in here until then... :D

Not just until then...

xd

You're next, sweetcheeks

D:

Some abductor you got there huh? 😂

The ones you could only wish for :)

Haha, die Currywurst hätte ich auch in Gefangenschaft genießen können :-)

Oh no, you are eating German food. Now you will lose the French visa?! Take some stinky Maroilles asap!

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

The sausage and the balls look very nice :D

Delicious! Although the sausage was actually sweeter than Knödel :)

I wish I had friends in Germany, wouldn't mind getting abducted there with all the food and beer, would happily take part in a Big Pharma experiment where all you do is eat,where do you sign up? Hope you enjoy the holidays everyone !!

You can't sign up, you're randomly chosen. Like a muslim for a security check at an airport. "Randomly".

That's true... nothing to do with religion or skin colour all randomly chosen.
Just like Israhell occupying palestinian lands nothing to do with Rotschilds or anything they just randomly occupied it. "Randomly"

That is a lot of cups. But that is Big Pharma for you. There is the irony that event horizons beyond today. Abduction is a thing that is happening beyond even satire. I love natural remedies. I hate Big Pharma. Love your article here, the photos. The story. And the truth behind the joke. Thanks for sharing. I'm Oatmeal. Happy Easter 2018.

Will I get some likes if I post something like this :( @suesa @scienceangel

No.

:|

I can help out with german, but I have to warn you: I'm addicted to that drug aswell.

I was kind of scared for you till I started reading the comments. This is another style of April Fool Hmmmmmm.

Hmmm you were so worried that you forgot to upvote my post, and upvoted your own comment instead :D

i hate this april fool day lot of things loss in one word to destroy your entire life plz save us

Summer would not be summer without Ice-cream. Ice-cream is the favorite currency of love.

Frankly speaking I don't like your April fools joke but it made me laugh after reading your post. Lolxx

Where is the relation with the first picture with your post???

@jihokoo whattup tho

I am PIG PHARMA, who dares mentionening me?☠️

great one


Suesa hatte schon nen coolen April post today! Now you!
Enjoy the day!
:-)

April fool´s stories are the best.... xD

Beautiful story! But I knew it was an April Fool's joke from the beginning 😂

saya akan membantu siapa saja tanpa memandang dia anak kecil,remaja,orang tua,dan tidak jugak memandang dia miskin,kaya,asalkan mereka perlu bantuan saya,saya akan membantu mereka,sebisa yang saya mampu...!

You don't need any help. Call emergency and say you "I called because I do not need any help!" They will be there in few minutes.

Nice post. I upvote, resteem and follow you

Wonderful post ..thanks for sharing...Best of luck friend ✫ resteemid

hello hello hi, once again one of your jokes (laughs), you know that here in venezuela there is a place called the cologne tovar, because there are some delicious german salchicas that are unique in their flavor, of course if one day I travel germany I was surprised to know that there is no comparison, but for now I enjoy these that are the closest I have, your blog I loved the illustrations, not only read the story but you live every experience.

They knew that Big Pharma won't be interested in paying a good amount of money for skinny girl like me, so they decided that they should start force-feeding me!!!

I like it