Synergy
this moment changes everything,
he said,
pulling jammed paper from the printer.
Lightbulb Sun
The sun is a bedtime story
read too eagerly
to the shadows
Fear and Loathing in the USofA
We have lungs
breathe in and
we have air
breathe out, but
we speak in tongues
when we open
our mouths.
Cherubim Fountains and Dry Swallowing
Autumnal awareness
and crossed swords,
gates before the garden.
unrelated,
Written for free-verse poetry maven @d-pend's revolutionary poetry initiative The 100 Day Poetry Challenge [Advanced Group] undertaken for Steemit School where @d-pend will be hosting a daily poetry show at 6 PM GMT.
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I like the irony of Synergy.
Lightbulb Sun is beautiful.
I'd have changed or removed the title of "Cherubim Fountains," as it gives a bit too clearly what the garden is. Which, as you know, I'm a fan of, that specific imagery.
"Fear and Loathing," though the titular piece, I feel is the weakest. But it is still fitting as the title, because it tells us what this piece is. We try to make sense, but who's to say we're all talking the same tongue? You wrote of Babel, so I know this is the hidden reference. But also, who is speaking through us? Is it the poet, the children's tale narrator, or is it the one tired of it all? Who wishes they could return to the garden?
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Agreed. The best writings are rarely the ones that receive all the fanfare, I'm hoping lightbulb sun fits somewhere more cozy later.
Hoping I can write a poem in the vein of synergy at some point as well, have a small collection of words and phrases and notes for it that will live in a folder filed away until further inspiration.
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Remember what I told you with regards to Sky Burial? I think you need to accept the most fitting place for the best poems is rarely the coziest. The coziest is when you are allowed to slink into the shadows, to share the spotlight and deflect the glares.
But that is not where the best pieces belong. They belong in the cold hard light.
I'm also not sure what you mean about hoping you can write a poem in the vein of synergy at some point - you just did, here! :D
And if we look at some of the feedback I gave you on later pieces, trying to fit all those pieces of jammed paper together into a longer piece is exactly what doesn't fit such an abrupt idea, maybe. Something to consider!
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There's the hint of darkness in the words, yet presented with a touch of lightness and delicacy. I really enjoyed reading through these, several times, to try to fully absorb the words and the flow.
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definitely running the gamut, which I expect to be the overarching theme of all I write for these 100 days.
On the other end, we've got writer's like yourself showing tons of consistency and securing some Curies! so I'm just excited to be showcasing a semblance of keeping up. =-)p
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The part about lungs and air and speaking tongues is art! Maybe that's because I'm a language teacher, it touches me deeply, the miracle of languages... But poets are even more prodigious, - they speak one additional tongue which is apparently not possible to learn... the tongue of Muse. I've never heard any of them speaking to me)
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until the rain fell today <3
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yep ) ahaha
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and this one:
Autumnal awareness
and crossed sword gates
before the garden.
can't help it, makes me think of death
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You certainly can not be beaten for writing skill, I have no idea how you are managing to keep up with this daily posting and all the other work you are doing in Steemit. Incredible - keep it up!
#thealliance
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The secret is that I am barely keeping up with it all; missing out on reading a lot of posts outside of the poetry I'm helping to curate and run for the contest - but will hopefully catch up soon!
Always thank you, mate -
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I would like to be in your context to understand the poem. There are words that do not have a translation in my language. For example, "USofA", I do not know what it is.
This poem that I dedicated to you days ago
Today I dedicated it to poets.
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ahh, that's a shorthand phrase here in the states for 'United States of America'; hope that helps, my friend, and enjoyed your poem! will get to some of your latest soon, hopefully, after I'm done helping Daniel with some curation.
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flowers are bloomed
when it remove the boreness.
cuckoo sings when
it is spring.
"lovely"!!!!!!
just try a little,,but not well so..
inspired from your blog
@upvoted
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I love the breathlessness of these pieces. I'm glad I can finally go through my feed, you have a lot of amazing material I need to catch up on!
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