A Last Stand - 100 Word Story

in twbwritingcontest •  6 years ago 

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The Blues were approaching slowly with muted shouts. Sulphur’s fetor coated his nostrils, drowning the world in rotten eggs.

Such an ironic thing for someone to be grateful for,” he thought to himself as he leaned against the cold marble counter-top, gripping one of many bullet wounds with his free hand.

As his head slouched feebly against his ruined chest, his eyes trailed across the still, sweet, slender frame of his beloved, gun in hand. He smiled drunkenly into the abyss, his only remaining comfort found in knowing that she had always dreamed of being the Bonnie to his Clyde.

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Interesting story, @makowrites. Mind if I ask a few questions? I was trying to connect the dots, and then I though I would just go ahead and ask. Did the police shoot him, or did his "Bonnie"? And what is he grateful for? I presume the rotten egg aroma of sulphur. But why? Thanks! I'm so curious.

Hello @jayna! I welcome your questions :)

The point was to be a bit ambiguous, if I'm fairly honest. It could swing either way and I like that idea. But from the writer's perspective it's definitely the police who shot him, following the classic story of Bonnie and Clyde.

The second is less clear and that's not intentional. The aroma of sulphur is from the gun being used, and it's blocking out the stench of blood and other assorted guts (yuck) which is far worse. Hence, he's grateful for that.

Hopefully that helps!

~ Mako

Yes! Thanks. Its always interesting to understand the author’s intent, and of course we don’t have that luxury with mainstream publishing, so I do take advantage of it here on Steemit. I guess I raise an eyebrow around intentional ambiguity, as a writing device. You are on Discord at The Writers’ Block, right? It might be fun to discuss in one of our writers workouts. Tagging Ms. @rhondak.

Intentional ambiguity simply leaves it up to the reader to decide. One of the greatest ambiguous endings in all of storytelling is Inception's :) The goal was simply to leave that bit up to the reader's interpretation of it.

RE: The Writers Workshops, I may have time to stop by tonight with a re-worked introduction to my book to take a look at!

Cheers,

~ Mako

I will have to check out Inception. I think there are definitely good reasons to leave questions unanswered in fiction!

I definitely would like to see @makowrites in the workshops with us! :-)