"Why doesn't he understand? Why can't GuiYuan understand? If I love him, I won't always want to leave him all these years. Why does he have to struggle with me?" I thought about it in the middle of the night.
"Yes, Joe Hanning thought so." She suddenly understood Qiao Hanning. "Why didn't she understand? If I wanted to be with her at this time, I would have accepted her long ago." Sighed in the middle of the night.
"Do you really hate you when you don't talk?" Asked around in the middle of the night, and cried again in the evening. Joe Hanning never failed her. Although he didn't say a word from beginning to end, Joe Hanning never failed her once. It's scum and rotten. Those seemingly false images are proved to be false by time every time. Joe Hanning has been silently guarding this relationship, without a word of complaint, and assumed everything.
What about comparison? In the middle of the night, I have been in a hurry to get proof and verbal expression. Even if one day, Qiao Hanning leaves with deep love for the middle of the night. He will silently pay attention to the life of the middle of the night in a corner of the world, her smile, her cry, her noise, her anger,... She is the only person who can make him have soul resonance. At the beginning, the two people were still testing, worrying and afraid. However, after so long, they have no doubt about the soul resonance.
“他怎么就不理解呢？归愿为什么就是不能理解呢？我要是爱他，这些年不会一直想着离开他。为什么他一定要挣扎着和我在一起呢？”夜半心里想着这件事情。
“对啊，乔汉宁原来是这样想的。”她突然理解了乔汉宁“她怎么就不明白呢，这段时间，如果我想和他在一起，我肯定早就接受她了。”夜半叹了一口气。
“一个人不说话是真的讨厌你么？”夜半问来问去，在晚上又一次哭了起来。乔汉宁从来没有辜负过她，虽然从头到尾没有说过一句话，但是乔汉宁从来一次也没有辜负过她。又渣又烂，那些看起来的假象，每次都被时间证明是假的，乔汉宁一直默默守护了这段感情，一句怨言也没有，承担了所有的一切。
相比呢？夜半一直匆忙的想要得到证明，想要言语上的表达。即使有一天，乔汉宁离开了，那也是带着对夜半情深似海的爱离开的，他会在世界的一个角落里默默的关注着夜半的生活，她的笑，她的哭，她的闹，她的恼，……她是唯一能让他产生灵魂共振的人。刚开始的时候，两个人还在试探，担心，害怕，然而这么久之后，关于灵魂共振，这一点，他们都毋庸置疑。
2022.02.22
My lovely little brother
Joe Hanning, he can laugh at everything, but I can make him cry, hahaha. It's funny and scary. It's like my brother. He loves me and is afraid of me.
Last night I set the password for my brother. He cried and cried and said he would never play with me again. He came to me again with a smile this morning. He also helped me carry the bookshelf and asked me if I bought it for him. I said I bought it for myself. Who bought it for you.
"Hey, I won't help you carry it.".
"Little pig hoof, you still have to throw shot put in the sports test. Practice your strength!"
My brother is born to laugh, so God has given him a lot of good luck. Although he sometimes loses his temper, he actually laughs at everything and refuses to admit defeat, which is unbearable.
His round face is super cute and adorable, which is the super Maitreya Buddha. He has a lot of good luck. Come with me in the evening, I want to eat this delicious food, I want to eat that delicious food, say what to invite me to eat in the future, more than 3000 fish, a cheapskate, and now even refuse to lend me 3000 yuan of lucky money. Then she said, my mother can't cook delicious food.
In order to let me listen to ghost stories with him, I framed Pamela who danced with me for an hour at night. I want to eat delicious food every day. I also like little rabbits and big golden hair. Today, someone gave him a little rabbit. I'm so bored. I'm tired of raising rabbits.
In addition, Joe Hanning's adorable is very similar to my brother. He has a fat face and loves to laugh. It is recognized that it makes people very happy when he sees it. But of course it's different. Everyone is different. It's not because he is like my brother that he likes and knows something. I have a generation gap with my brother. I can't play any games he plays! My little brother is very smart. Qiao Hanning is very similar to me. He is emotional and likes to eat and play. What's more, it's a pity for a thief. A 200 pound fat thief has no sense of responsibility.
The little spot you first liked was the light God injected into your heart.
"The little spot you first liked was the light God injected into your heart. It may seem so insignificant, but that's where our love and talent came from." After so many years, I believe more and more that the insignificant light at the source, where there are seeds, can grow into towering trees, or grow into a beautiful flower, fragrant. For the first half of my life, I completed it under the "suggestion" of my aunt, but as long as there is no "source" in my heart "You can't do anything well without the initial point. For example, the college entrance examination, such as the major in graduate school, such as studying for a doctor, such as getting married before going abroad, when everyone goes along with the flow, but runs counter to your heart, you will regret one day. I remember Ren Zhengfei said," no matter what you do, you will encounter difficulties. But if you choose it yourself, you will move forward without complaint. “
I have experienced those darkest moments in my life, when I lay alone on the bed, looked at the upper bed in a daze, shed tears again and again, and told myself "in the middle of the night, set yourself free "When I was young, I really didn't care about many things. I don't love my parents, I don't love secular interests, and I don't love fireworks in the world. I love nothing but myself. I deserve anything in the world. I don't live for anyone, I just want to be myself. I want to become my own princess. I want my feelings of love, have children I like, and earn my own money , buy my own car and house. I love freedom, fireworks and the world. If I love money, I will make money. If I want to achieve, I will achieve. If I love Jiangnan, I will take my children to stroll every Saturday and Sunday. If I love Joe Hanning and he is not with me, it would be great. He loves freedom more than I do, and it's strange that I think the love between us is simpler than anything in the world. He is the only thing I miss in my spare time. Why do I care? I don't understand the seeds planted by the gods, insignificant seeds. How does that explain? In the past, I naively created a unique him for the unique me.
- I got divorced as soon as I was out of my mind. I happened to smell pheromone and was very curious.
- He happens to be able to sing and ignore people when he is very wonderful (this is completely my destiny). Most people refuse and accept when they refuse; Joe Hanning, how big a stall do you have? Still guarding against immortals jumping?
- The way we quarrel without saying a word. God, I've never met such a person. Later, when I heard that it was the same higher self, I understood. Really, otherwise, I couldn't explain these phenomena of silent quarrel.
- I'm really speechless. He left for a month, and I happened to be leaving for a month. The plot is so ingenious that I can't conceive it myself.
- The first magical feeling is that at that time, a belief was planted in my heart, and then there was no sadness. Later, I thought there might be something like energy passing between him and me. His happy energy passed to me and filled my heart. His heart is so powerful. The second feeling is that there is a magnetic field between people. Some people really have a magnetic field and something similar to the gossip array exists. We are the same. The third feeling is that I was fooled. I was fooled by something similar to fate. The feeling was particularly strong at that time.
- All boys like me like a wonderful flower, painting micro, bamboo, Junzhe; It seems that Qiao Ning likes all three girls. Not before.
- We separated, and then I was confident that I could live. I got stuck in my big paper. It seems that the wheel of fate is deliberately doing so. I happened to meet the most difficult graduation season, and all five experts passed it. The whole process of my big paper was designed for Joe Hanning. First, when I went back to school, Qiao Hanning just returned home. Second, there is something wrong with the school leaders' papers. The school presses the college, the college presses the weak teachers (my tutor), and the tutors press the students. Third, my soul came in the dark night, desperately looking for the meaning of life, crying on the lower bed and saying to myself, "let yourself go, midnight". Then Joe Hanning appeared in my world with confidence and happiness. At that time, his smile saved me like a hero, together with my unfinished dream at the age of 18. How could there be such a strange man as Joe Hanning in the world? At first, I thought he was a sea king who didn't accept or refuse. As a result, I didn't expect that he just wanted to stay with me without asking for anything in return. Fourth, I left him because of his unspoken attitude, and I returned to my wish. In order to annoy me, he even went with Lin Xuexue during the preparation of the big paper. In order to annoy him, as soon as the big paper was submitted, I immediately went out to travel with Gui Yuan. In order to annoy me, he wrote a lot of articles. As a result, such things only went with Lin Xuexue. Then it seems that the wheel of fate punished our immaturity, and neither of our two major papers passed. Fifth, we are finally going to separate the two campuses. The night before we moved out, the epidemic appeared.
- Everything I've experienced since childhood seems to be prepared for Joe Hanning. First, my family was born in poverty, but the writing was good, so I wrote him a white letter. His throat was blocked and he didn't say a word. I played my specialty and wrote a novel. Second, my 18-year-old love was not perfect, and he completed it for me. Third, every time I was dumped by two good friends. My best friend always liked my best girlfriend. The lack of heterosexuality made me feel that I was really a failure. Only Joe Hanning loved me. Even when I left him, he didn't leave me or fall in love with my best sister. Although he used Zhen to heat me, and so far, this is one of the things that makes me most angry. (Xianbei, Jiang suihan, Lin Jiayun) fourth, my family just decorated a room I especially like. Fifth, his family is just very good. I think it's for us. I think the material benefits of my childhood have been absorbed by Qiao Hanning, who is still very weak. Speaking of it, I'm angry, unkind guy.
- It's good luck to be with Joe Hanning. For example, when I interviewed a university in Shanghai, I thought, "if this guy can bring benefits to me, you'll let me succeed in the interview. If I succeed in the interview for this school, I believe he can bring benefits to me". As a result, the interview was successful soon. I didn't dare think of that school. I think Yuelao is unfair. He has given so many benefits to Qiao Hanning. As a result, I have to go around him and coax him to be happy for good luck and material. Although it makes me very happy to go around Joe Hanning. But I'm also a man with face. If I let me do this, others will lose face when they see me. In fact, I'm a masochist. I like to go around Joe Hanning too much. He's the big baby in my heart. I admit I like this person like crazy.
I don't want him to see anything about me now, but there is always a dialogue in my heart. I can scold each other occasionally in my imagination. Telepathy doesn't exist, but similar love exists, and brain circuits are consistent. Bones are strange. How can we understand each other so well? But not all, but the underlying logic is the same.
Once in the 200 year old teaching building and once on the early school bus, I thought, "God, you're too much. Why do you make me suffer so much? Now give me a double fire with such counseling ability, and then plant this faith in my heart?" Wronged cried for a long time, but shrugged his nose, who makes me like him so much?
我的可爱小弟
乔汉宁啊，他什么事都会笑嘻嘻的啊，但是我能把他给逗哭了，哈哈哈……。又逗又吓的，跟我弟弟可像了，又爱我，又怕我的。
昨天晚上我给我弟弟设置了密码，他又哭又闹的，说以后再也不跟我玩了。今天早上就笑嘻嘻的又来找我玩了。还帮我一块抬书架，还问我是不是给他买的，我说给我自己买的，谁给你买。
“哎，那我不帮你抬了”。
“小猪蹄，你们考体育还得扔铅球呢，练练臂力吧！”
我弟天生就喜欢笑，所以上天给了他好多好运，虽然有时候咋咋呼呼的发脾气，但是实际上什么事都笑呵呵的，又不服输，可招人耐了。
他圆圆的脸超级可爱，adorable，就是超级弥勒佛，好运超多。大晚上跟我，我想吃这个好吃的，我想吃那个好吃的，说以后请我吃什么三千多的一个鱼，小气鬼一个 ，现在连把三千块的压岁钱都不肯借给我。然后撒娇说，咱妈妈不会做好吃的。
为了能让我跟他一起听鬼故事，被我框的，晚上陪着我跳一个小时的帕梅拉。天天就想吃好吃的，还喜欢小兔子，还喜欢大金毛。今天别人送了他一只小兔子，我好烦啊 ，我养兔子都养烦了。
还有还有，乔汉宁的adorable跟我弟很像，胖胖脸又爱笑，见了就让人很开心，这是公认的。但是当然不一样了，每个人都是不一样的，不是因为他像我弟弟所以才喜欢才熟悉什么的。我和我弟有代沟 ，他玩的游戏我都不会哎！我小弟可聪明了，乔汉宁跟我很像，偏情绪型的，又菜又爱玩，而且贼可惜的事，一个200斤的大胖子贼没责任心。
你最初喜欢的那一个小点，就是上帝在你心中注入的光。
“你最初喜欢的那一个小点，就是上帝在你心中注入的光。也许看来那么微不足道，但是那就是我们的爱与天赋所发源的地方。”这么多年以后，我越来越相信源头上那些微不足道的光，有种子的地方才可能长成参天大树，或者长成一朵很美的花，芳香袭人。我上半辈子那都是在姑姑的”建议“下完成 的，但是只要没有内心的那个”源头“的点，没有最初的那点是做不好任何事情的。比如高考，比如研究生时候的专业，比如读博士这件事情，比如出国前结婚，所有人云亦云的随着大流而走，却与内心相违背的时刻，总有一天会后悔。我记得任正非说过一句话，”无论做什么事情，都会遇到难处。但是如果是自己选的，你会毫无怨言，勇往直前。“
在我人生中经历过那些至暗时刻，在我一个人躺在床铺上，看着上铺的床板发呆，一次次流泪，一边告诉自己”夜半，放过你自己“的时候，我就真的已经不在乎很多事情了。我不爱我爸妈，我不爱世俗利益，也不爱人间烟火，除了自己，一无所爱。我配得上世界上任何 好，我不为任何人活着，我只为我自己。我想让我自己变成自己的公主，我要我爱的感情，生我喜欢的孩子，挣我自己的钱，买我自己的车子和房子。我爱自由，爱烟火，爱大千世界，我爱钱就去挣钱，要成就就去成就，爱江南就带着孩子每个周六日都去闲逛，如果我爱乔汉宁，他不在我身边，那就太好了。他比我更爱自由，而好奇怪，我觉得我们之间 的爱比世界任何事情都简单，他是我闲暇时候的唯一的想念，为什么在乎我不懂，神灵播下的种子，微不足道的种子。这怎么解释呢？上天真的为独特的我，造了一个独特的他。
怎么解释呢？
1.我恰好脑子一抽，就离婚了。恰好就闻了费洛蒙，就特别好奇。
2.他恰好就会唱歌，还特奇葩的就不理人（这完全是我的命点啊），一般人拒绝就拒绝啊，接受就接受啊；乔汉宁你有多大的摊儿啊？还防着仙人跳？
3.我俩不说一句话的吵架的样子，天啊，我从来没有遇到过这种人啊。后来当听说是同一个高我，我就理解了，真的要不然我都解释不了这些不说话吵架的现象。
4.我真的无语了。他走了一个月，我恰好就要走一个月。这剧情奇巧设计，我自己都构思不出来啊。
5.第一种神奇的感受就是，当时心里面种下了一个信念，然后没有悲伤了。后来我想可能真的有能量之类的东西，在他和我之间传递。他的快乐的能量传递给我，把我的内心填满了。他的内心好有力量啊。第二种感受就是，人和人之间有磁场，有的人真的有磁场，有类似八卦阵一样的东西存在。我俩是一样的。第三种感受就是，我被耍了，我被一种类似命运的东西给耍了。当时感受特别强烈。
6.所有男生都奇葩似的喜欢起我来，画微，竹则，君哲，……；而三个妹子也都奇葩似的喜欢乔汉宁。以前不会的。
7.我俩分开了，然后我信心满满大论文可以过的时候。我的大论文被卡了，好像就是有命运之轮在故意这么做，恰好遇到了最难最难的毕业季，五个专家全过才行。我的大论文整个历程简直就是为了乔汉宁而设计的。第一，我回学校的时间，刚好乔汉宁回国。第二，学校领导的论文出问题，学校压学院，学院压弱逼的老师（我转的导师），导师压学生。第三，我的灵魂暗夜到来，拼命的找人生的意义，在下铺的床上哭着跟自己说“放过你自己，夜半”。紧接着乔汉宁出现了，带着自信和快乐出现在我的世界里，那个时候他的笑像英雄一样拯救了我，连同我十八岁未完成的梦。世界上怎么会有一个乔汉宁这么奇怪的人，我一开始以为他不接受不拒绝是一个海王，结果没想到他只是想不求任何回报的守在我身边。第四，我因为他不言明的态度离开了他，万念俱灰的我回到了归愿身边。他为了气我，连大论文准备过程中的各种都是跟林冰雪一起去的。我为了气他，大论文一提交，马上就跟归愿出去旅游。他为了气我，大论文出结果这种事情都只是跟林冰雪一起去的。然后好像真的是命运之轮惩罚了我俩的不成熟，我们两个大论文都没有通过。第五，我俩终于要分开两个校区了，就在搬离的前一天晚上，疫情出现了。
8.我从小所经历的事情，好像每一件都是为了乔汉宁准备的。第一，我的家庭出生贫困，但是文字写得好，所以我给他写了表白信。他喉轮被堵，一句话也不说，我发挥了特长，写了一部小说。第二，我18岁的爱情的不圆满的恰到好处，他替我完成了。第三，我每次都被两个好朋友甩开，我最好的朋友总是喜欢上我最好的女朋友，异性恋的缺失让我觉得我真的很失败，唯独乔汉宁他爱我是真的，即使在我离开他的时候，他也没有离开我，也没有爱上我最好的姐妹。虽然他却是用甄暖气我了，而且到现在为止，这也是让我最生气的一件事情之一。（仙贝，蒋岁寒，林佳韵）第四，我家恰好给我装修了一间我特别喜欢的屋子。第五，他的家境刚刚特别好，我觉得那是给我俩准备的。我觉得我从小的物质方面的好处，都匀到乔汉宁那里了，而乔汉宁还过得很弱逼。说起来，我就来气，不知好歹的家伙。
9.和乔汉宁好好在一起就有好运，比如说我面试的上海的一所大学，我当时想“要是这家伙能给我带来好处，那你就让我面试成功，这种学校我要是面试成功了，我就信他能给我带来好处”。 结果，很快就面试成功了，那所学校我都不敢想的。我觉得月老可不公平了，给了乔汉宁那么多好处，结果呢，我为了好运和物质，还得处处围着他转，哄他开心。虽然围着乔汉宁转，让我很开心。可是老子也是有脸的人啊，让老子这样做，别人看见了我多丢面儿啊。实际上，我个受虐狂的个性，太喜欢围着乔汉宁转了，他就是我心中的大宝贝，我承认我发疯了似的喜欢这个人。
我现在不想让他看我任何东西了，但是心灵上总是有对话，偶尔在想象中都能对骂一阵。心灵感应什么的是不存在的，但是相似的爱存在，脑回路也一致的骨骼清奇，咋就那么能相互懂得？但也不全是，但是底层逻辑一样一样的。
一次是在那个200年历史的老教学楼，一次是在早起的校车上，我就想，“神明，你过分，你凭什么让我吃这么多苦，到现在给我个能力这么怂的双火，然后在我心中种下这种信念？”委屈的哭了好久，但是耸耸鼻子，谁让我那么喜欢他呢？
2022.02.22
You just weigh the pros and cons. You just look down on me, Joe Hanning. Like me, but look down on my family.
Why are you doing this to me? You either take responsibility and leave like a boy. Or work hard and wait for us to be together one day. From the beginning, you didn't do anything. You're just irresponsible, cowardly, weak, bullied.
I tell you, if I leave, you can't coax me back. You only have such a girlfriend you like so much. If I leave, I think you will regret it. When I get home, I don't say a word or share a state. Do you know you're really annoying?
Is it important for you to go home or your girlfriend? If your girlfriend is angry, you can't coax me back. Joe Hanning, you fool.
你就是权衡利弊，你就是瞧不起我，乔汉宁。喜欢我，却瞧不起我的家境。
你凭什么这么样对我？你要么就承担责任，像个男生一样大大方方的离开。要么就认认真真努力，等我们有一天在一起。从一开始，你就什么都不做。你就是不负责任，胆小鬼，软弱，怂逼。
我告诉你，我要是走了，你就哄不回来了。你就只有这么一个这么喜欢的女朋友，我要是走了，我看你后悔不后悔。回了家就一句话也不说了，一个状态也不分享。你知不知道你这样真的很烦人 啊？
你回家重要还是你女朋友重要啊？一面也不见我，你女朋友生气了你就哄不回来。乔汉宁，你个傻缺。