Hi everyone, I'm going to share with all of you my most painful Story.

I want to share it today because I was bullied by my co-worker a while ago and his sarcasm leads me to reminisce about the most painful story of my life.

I have been married for almost 4 years now. For the first two years of our marriage, my husband and I both agreed to save money first before having a baby. But some people keep asking Why don't we have a child yet? I answered them saying "we're not setting it as our priority because we have still a responsibility to both of our siblings that is currently studying." But hormonal imbalance was also the reason why it's hard for me to conceive a baby. Some people were talking behind my back and they were suspecting I was barren and that keeps my heart broken.

I ignore them and continue living my life as a wife to my husband and as a provider to my family. One day in September 2016, my sister called me on the phone. She was crying while telling me that our father got into an accident. I was completely devastated because my father broke his leg. I was down, thinking about how to earn more money for his operation. It was then I decided to sell some foods to my co-workers so that I can have an extra income for my father's hospitalization.

Weeks later after my father's accident, I noticed some pelvic pain which I ignore at first, thinking maybe it was caused by some stress and restlessness. It was then I realized I've already missed 2 months of my monthly period. I decided to have a pregnancy test and to my surprise I WAS PREGNANT!

I was having mixed of emotions. I forgot the pain I felt about my father's accident. I was very happy knowing that I am able to bear a child. God is really great because he turned my sadness into an incomparable happiness.

I started to visit my obstetrician-gynecologist. Until one day, my OB-gyne told me that I'm pregnant for 8 weeks base on my LMP(Last Menstrual Period) but to make sure she told me that I needed to take a TVs (Transvaginal ultrasound). After having TVs, the result was alarming because there is no baby found which supposedly it should have a heartbeat already since it's already 8 weeks old. But the result was 5weeks and 3days shown in the ultrasound so it could be possible that there is a mismatch between my LMP and the ultrasound result. So my OB-gyne told me to have a TVs again next two weeks to make sure everything is fine. After two weeks of praying we came to the hospital to undergo TVs again. It was during the scan that the sonographer struggled to find any baby or heartbeat, all she could see was the sac. I was crying hoping that my baby was just hiding and maybe I could wait another week hopefully my baby will grow.
I've waited for the result and my doctor's explanation. But as I was reading the ultrasound result I was crying because the impression considers a non-viable pregnancy which means It could be a pregnancy with a dead fetus later on in pregnancy. My world had come crashing down when the doctor told me that the baby is not developing and I have to wait for my miscarriage. It's not easy, because I was expecting too much. But I have nothing to against what has been destined. Although it's painful, still there is hope and there's always next time. On the other side, it's a good sign for us to know that we are capable of producing a baby.

After a week, I was started bleeding, I was getting really bad cramps - period pains to be exact but it hurts 10x.
Every night was awful, the pain was becoming worse. I endure the pain knowing that there is God and He is planning something that is best for us.

I feel bad about my co-worker's behavior towards me. People will always find something to talk behind your back. Whatever you may be going through, they can always say something bad about you.
Yes, I always get hurt when someone bullies me. Nevertheless, I am more mature in dealing such painful feeling. I started to live my life expressing what I want and not impressing everyone of what I have.

That's my day went today. I feel bad, But everything's gonna be fine. Thanks for reading my story.

lovelots,
@azilana01

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