Was It My Fault?

August 22, 2018 (2:09 AM)

It was dark. I was shaking. I wanted to cry. I wanted to run. I was shit scared!

I was calling my cousin and my call didn't connect.
Called the second time and the call didn't connect.
My phone finally rang. My cousin called back. Thank God!

August 21, 2018 (11:22 PM)

I met with my friend at a coffee shop to discuss some business. It was a little late because he gets off from work at 10:00 PM. I refused when he said he'd send me home after our meeting since my house is just nearby and I am not really the type of person who gets scared of walking in the streets alone even at a very late hour.

August 22, 2018 (2:00 AM)

I was walking on my way home when I heard a car moving towards my direction. I had a bad feeling so I took my phone and started dialing my cousin's number. While I was dialing my cousin's number, the man driving the white car slowly followed me.

He was catcalling me. "Hey!", he said 3 times. I was so scared I couldn't even look into his face. All I did was walk faster while I was talking to my cousin on the phone. I read the plate number so my cousin could take note of it. After he noticed that I was taking note of his plate number, he finally left.

I was panting. I almost cried. It was the longest 2 minutes of my life. I told my cousin to just keep talking to me on the phone as I describe to her where exactly I was while walking.

Just when I was about to catch my breath, another car followed me. At first, I thought maybe he was just parking his car. How could it possibly happen to me twice in just a matter of a minute difference?

So I walked along the pavement in a zigzag manner. The car still followed. Again, I told my cousin what the plate number was and the car left. Thank God!

I saw my cousin on the other side of the road and I finally felt safe. As I reach home, I got so frustrated. Someone told me I should wear more modest clothes. Someone said I shouldn't walk alone that late.

I felt helpless. I felt like I was the one who needed change instead of those pervs roaming around the city. Why does it have to be women's fault?

What does it have to do with the way we look, the way we dress, the way we walk, the way we talk, the way we live? I am so mad at myself for not screaming and for not confronting those men. I could've at least cursed them. But I stayed silent because I got scared. I got scared that people will just judge the way I dressed that time. I was afraid that people will say those guys were just hunting prostitutes and meant me no harm.

Well, I know that there are things that I cannot control and no matter how hard I try to address these people in any way possible, there is no way that their evil acts will stop. It may have an impact, but that would be very minimal.

So, ladies, let's focus more on what we can control. Here are some few tips that I can share (and that I will definitely do if it happens to me again, God forbid) :

1. Pray- always pray that He will protect and keep us away from harm. I believe this is the most powerful thing we can do to be safe regardless if you are a man or a woman.

2. Let someone know where you are going- always make sure that there is at least one person who knows where you're heading, who you are with, what time you intend to get home, etc...

3. Create a speed dial list - especially when you know that you have to walk alone in the streets, make sure that you have enough call minutes and save the emergency numbers from your country on your speed dial list.

4. Read the plate number out loud - if it's a vehicle that's following you, read the plate number out loud so the harasser will know that someone can report them to the police.

5. Carry a weapon - it's good to be prepared. Carry a bag with sharp objects or spray that may be of help when escaping a harrasser.

6. Finally, RUN - though sometimes we feel like fighting, it is better to run the opposite side of the lane where the car may not be able to follow (if they have a car).

I am not an expert in self-defense so I would love to hear more tips from you guys. Feel free to comment or send me a message :)

Keep safe ladies.