Ulog 37: Spousal fights

Wife and I have been fighting all week. Not the no-hold-barrel physical ones. Rather the silence one. The one where you forgot what you found about but you’re sure that the other party was wrong so you hold out to see when she would come back and ask for forgiveness. Guess what. She didn’t. And it has been a whole week. I don’t even remember why I am fighting with her. Plus last night I dreamt that she came back and took care of the kids. She was on call at the hospital last night. And when I dreamt that and then vaguely saw her late at night came into the room to nurse the baby, it kind of freaked me out. I feared that something had happened to her and she came back as a ghost and we had some many unanswered conflicts not yet resolved. Luckily I received a text from her in the morning stating that she wanted me to drive Vyvian to school. So I knew the cosmos was still in its right order and everything was still working. Nevertheless it woke me up. Maybe that life is too short and it’s not worth fighting even if all that you’re waiting to prove to the other person that you’re right and you deserve an apology.

The past few days have been interesting. We don’t really talked to each other. But around the kids we act pretty normally toward them. We give them as much as attention that we could. But we were cold to each other. Not cold cold. But we didn’t really want to talk to each other.

My wife is a hard-headed woman. Most fights end with me apologizing to her. Even for fights not of my doing and definitely not of my fault. Somehow I still have to apologize. That gets old a after a little while. Then on some days, I feel strongly about something and still she doesn’t give in. Those are the fights that I feel bad about. Why can’t that woman just apologize for once!

I told my friend about the situation and he wanted me to write a letter to my wife. Nothing that would indicate that I was attacking her. But more just to tell her my feelings. He think that will just melt her heart away. I just laughed him. He doesn’t really know my wife.

So when I see movies and television play on the “the woman is always right” mentality, at least in my mind, it reaffirms that there are men out there suffering the same fate as I am. Maybe in a blue moon I will get my apologize and begging for forgiveness. For now, I will be making nice and take the role of the bad guy.

Let’s see if it would be a good night.

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