ULOG: TOO MUCH LOVE IS SUICIDE

Love involves pain and agony. Years ago I was in the seminary undertaking priesthood. In other sense, it is called seminarian. Being a seminarian needs an inspiration, so that the mechanisms of the formation goes well, and creates a higher performance. You know that, life is too nice to live if there is a spice of inspiration.
At those years, i had a girlfriend, her name is Rhea. She is lovely, intelligent woman, dark complexion, and virgin. She is my first true love and likewise.
We were in since fourth year high school. In every semestral break, i always visited and meet this girl, telling some wonderful stories, sharing our long distance relationship experiences, as well as our dreams in life. Aside from this, our meeting involves some romantic acts with limits. This girl was considered as my mom, and family before because i am from broken family, and self supporting student dwells in the convent, a place of the priests in the parish.
This is that girl:

Our love story was i think a heaven to me. Why? It is because it was the moment i made the world a very livable place to live because of her. Life was so easy to me, no matter how hard academics, rigors in community service, spiritual acts had been, i easily countered it because of her love.
She was the reason i got higher grades, and stated my name as one of the dean's listers in our school. Though Philosophy is so hard, because of her as my inspiration, it was a bit easy to me.
Moreover, on my second year level, i advised her to enroll in the university, taking up her desired course for our future. So she took up Psychology course. I was happy because i like such course and it fitted for her.
Gracefully, my happiness as regards our relationship was smoother because she also excelled in her school, as one of the top achievers. We were glad. We expected a higher future of this.
One thing I can not forget in our relationship is the ability to pray whatever problems we encountered, we both kneeled and prayed inside the chapel. So we had a perfect relationship. With this, she graduated as Cum Laude in University of San Jose Recoletos. I was the happiest person in our seminary at those time.

Months after her graduation, I asked her permission to stop my priestly journey. I told her to quit in the seminary for as to go on with our relationship, and focus on our plans for married life. So she agreed, and i risked myself to confront the priests as well as my family to not pursue my priesthood schooling.
My family was mad at me. The priests also were sad at my decision because of my best performance plus of my capability of being a priest. Since it was my personal choice, so they were silent, conformed, and i went on with my decision. So i am an ex seminarian, and excited of setting a plan for my cum laude psychologist.
However, as months passed by, i continued to communicate with my girlfriend, because i was free and not a seminarian anymore, is had more free time. Sadly, i noticed that she was changed.
I noticed that the way she treated me has changed, i texted her, she seldom text back. I called her up over phone, her phone rings but do not answer. There I was trembled. I even pleaded her to see in person explaining the factors, and just to clarify everything, she was unreceptive and never able to communicate me again the same with what we had.
Si i searched for ways to solve the problem, i scanned her details in facebook, over a couple of days while my eyes streaming tears down to the cheeks.
There, I found out that she has another man. I saw in fb that she has a new boyfriend, seaman, and without my knowledge from her. Here, my world was collapsed! It was a darkest world i had.
Going up to the convent I cried inside the comfort room for an hours. I was out of my mind! I was sleepless for more than weeks. During meal, most foods can not be swallowed because of those heartbreaking and ever pounding aches in my heart. It was quite hurt for me because i am not given a clear explanation and preserved her virginity during wedding ceremony. With this, I even came to the point of doing a suicide attempt.
Up to this day I am an ex seminarian. I never think of going back again in the seminary. And now I am studying seaman because her boyfriend, the one replaced to me is a seaman.
I finally realized that life involves love. And I can conform that too much love will kill you. Thus, make things moderate. Once you are bombarded with evil desires like suicidal attempt, pray the rosary so that later on you will be healed. I say that LOVE DEFINITELY HURTS!!!!
THIS IS ME, ABOUT TO FINISH MY COURSE AS SEAMAN THIS COMING MARCH.