As disclosure continues to unfold, we will all be confronted with our dark behaviours. It is not just a matter of exposing the violence of the elite, pedophilia of the rich and powerful or the greed of politicians. We are all going to be confronted with our own violent behaviours, whether they are justified or not. The challenge for most is that our "normal" day-to-day life style is going to be confronted, which is very uncomfortable.
If we want peace and freedom, change is required.
This is no different than the process I have gone through myself over the past 16 years as I explored my own relationships, boundaries and how to consciously work through the nuances of what a healthy relationship looks like. This journey lead me to realize that despite all my growth and personal work that I did, I was still unconsciously involved in relationships that were violent. Every time I confront myself on these relationships, the deeper I got. Say 'NO' to the state was the most challenging as it too was a violent relationship and for me to take full responsibility for my own life and that of my family required great change and sacrifice to make it work.
I want to go back to the basics as boundaries are a critical component to self-governance. Here is a graphic representation of an individual with boundaries.
The important thing to remember is that boundaries are to ensure healthy governance is taking place. Like a governor on an engine to ensure that it does not spin so fast as to blow itself apart, we too need mechanisms to limit our own actions so that we don't blow apart or cause harm to others. We too need to engage in a process to self-restrict ourselves, otherwise we end up hurting our self and others in the process. Whether that happens consciously or unconsciously, it does not matter. We are still responsible.
That green line helps us to determine where we are going to draw the line so that we can evaluate if other people's actions or activities are doing harm to us. This is represented by the arrow pointing in. Most people associate boundaries with the limits that we place on what behaviours we are willing to accept from other people.
However, the line should also be used to help us evaluate our own actions and activities to make sure that we are not doing any harm to others. This is represented by the arrows pointing outward. To maintain a healthy boundary requires constant evaluation and self-assessment as situations change as life is very dynamic and always changing.
To help me with my own personal boundaries, I needed to choose a law form that was rooted on solid ground and would not shift or change with time, interpretations or justifications. I chose Matthew 22:36-40 as my law form. I do my best to use it to evaluate my boundaries.
Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
However, there are some people out there that have little or no boundaries because the concept of love is foreign to them or they were never even taught. These people either lack the ability to govern themselves (psychopaths) or lack the will to self-govern (children) and fail to express empathy for others or recognize the benefits of boundaries in their relationships. I represent these people with this graphic, with no green line and unlimited capacity to engage in actions or behaviours that do harm to themselves and others.
For these individuals, they just don't comprehend that their actions or behaviours can cause so much harm or destruction with their relationships. There are obviously shades of gray in between as we all struggle finding that spot where we can engage in relationships, take risks and at times put up with the abuse of others just so that we can interact with others. In the end, it is each individuals choice on where they are going to draw the line.
When we decide to enter into an intimate relationship with another being, we have an opportunity to be vulnerable with other and open our heart, deep secrets insecurities, strengths, passion and dreams. When we do that, the two individuals then establish a shield around the relationship that helps both individuals from outside influences, and harm.
As you will notice, I showed that each individual maintains their own personal boundaries while at the same time negotiating their shared boundary to protect their relationship. It is important that we maintain our own personal boundaries as a failure to do that can result in violence, abuse and other hurtful events from happening within that relationship. This graphic represents a healthy, inter-independent relationship between two healthy individuals. If one individual has no boundaries, then great harm can take place within the relationship.
However, when we accomplish a balance between two healthy individuals, the couple can accomplish way more than ether individual could accomplish by themselves. It also provides a safe space to share at levels that we cannot accomplish with our less intimate relationships.
So why is self-governance so important?
If we choose to be the individual who chooses to expand as far as one can, with little or no regard for anybody else, then we have succumbed to greed and failed to empathize with other people, mother earth, plants, animals and all life on this planet. The corporate machine takes this approach as they work to consume all they can for profit, control and power.
If we choose to be the individual who chooses to expand until we bump into the boundaries of others, then we most likely will find a level of empathy for others, but we too get caught up in the trap of expanding as far as we can justify, which is not far off what some of the more 'ethical' corporations do. The state attempts to function in this realm but fails as it is impossible to govern others without resorting to violence or coercion, which in itself is a breach of boundaries and harmful no matter what they do.
However, if we draw a line in the sand and establish boundaries and stipulate that we self- restrict ourselves because we recognize that our unfettered actions and behaviours can have unforeseen consequences that none of us could possibly imagine, then we start to comprehend why it is so important to self-govern. As situations change within our lives we can ease our self-restrictions or further tighten those restrictions depending on the situation we find ourselves in.
The large multi-national corporate empires and bloated bureaucratic government empires cannot adapt to change quickly. Because of their own greed and lust for power, they failed to follow the foundations that were laid out for them in regards to governance. As a result, the moral and ethical standards they follow have deteriorated beyond reason and continue to spiral downwards at an exponential rate.
As a self-governing individual, it is my duty to ensure that my actions and behaviour met or exceed the standards that I follow through my law form: love! That requires that I learn how to love myself first, before I can learn to love others or God. That requires that I accept 100% responsibility and accountability for my life and not put that burden on anybody else. I am a powerful being and I must also recognize that my actions have consequences that I cannot possibly foresee, so I will do my best to limit myself and influence others through positive, self-affirming, loving actions on all aspects of my life.
The differentiating factor for self-governance:
An individual who chooses to govern themselves will also recognize that other people should be treated with the highest level of respect. That means that children who are not emotionally or mentally mature to make adult decisions would not be taken advantage of. It also means that adults who struggle with their own boundaries would not be taken advantage of either. No more spousal abuse, rape, yelling, hitting, violence, theft, murder, porn, etc. In fact, self-governing individuals would not take advantage of anybody, even if the opportunity is presented to them. Once we all learn how to self-govern and choose to engage in that level of healthy relationship with our self and others, there will be no need for governments, corporations or any fictional constructs that are currently used to govern those who refuse to engage.
If we want to end violence, pedophilia, greed, theft, murder, genocide, etc then the first step is to heal and start down the path of self-governance. That is why it is so important, despite the fear porn that the state spews out as the idea will make their power and greed obsolete!
This is the true nature of anarchy!
Well done sir. I often tell folks that you awaken every day knowing in your heart what is morally right or wrong. You do not require a leader. Most of the time I get the mindless stare, but every once in awhile get to see the light bulb come on and they begin to think. All the best to you, Jerry T
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@lyndsaybowes recommended that I follow you some time back and I am so thankful she did. Thank you for this post @wwf it is time we set our foundation in this very precarious time.
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Thank you for following my work @vickiebarker. I am grateful that you find value in what I am sharing. May Creator bless you and your family with peace, freedom, prosperity, joy and love along your journey.
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Before we can even entertain the idea of changing the world, we must first change ourselves. Thank you for all of your teachings White Walking Feather.
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Gandhi said: Be the change you want to see in the world. We fight with other people and wonder why we cannot find peace. We fight because we try to change others. Since we cannot 'change' them, we resort to force. It is a vicious cycle that we find ourselves in. It is really hard to just work on oneself. Even blogging like this can be a challenge as at times I show frustration and want to reach out and 'love' some people! lol. But self is the only one we can change and so I continue to work to that end and share my journey along the way. I am grateful that others are interested in this same type of work as well. I love you all.
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God bless you. Thank you for being in it for the long haul. Your persistence has been a big reason why I feel confident walking this path.
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I figure: we can examine our lives and systems now, and learn new ways and adjust to better models in a manner which we can handle, or: we can wait until it is forced upon us, and panic, lost, having never lived outside the prescribed norm.
I prefer to willingly learn now while I can, gradually, but I fear many in our society will cling to the old, broken ways with a death grip and ultimately die with them.
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I agree completely @phoenixwren. It is a free will choice on whether we are going to explore our lives consciously or leave change up to chance. I don't think that people will fair well if they unconsciously continue living life like they have in the past. Big changes are coming, at a scale never seen before. Just because it has never happened before does not mean it won't happen! I do think many will perish as their dependency on that old system will cause great pain when that system fails them and they lack the skills, tools or abilities to provide for their own basic needs.
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