The invisible string

I think it's safe to say everyone to a certain extent has been strung along at one point or the other. What does it mean to be strung along? Here's an example; you know when you're catching feelings for someone and you think they are too because of the way they treat you, calling you 24/7, trying to satisfy your every whim, being your biggest cheer leader and just performing girlfriend or boyfriend duties but at the end of the day, you find out they arent really interested, they are in a relationship or just not ready. So, you're left heartbroken and hurt without even being in a relationship.

Now sometimes, I believe the perpetrators of these acts don't know or realize what's going on, yet, we all know some people are well...., damn right wicked and just want to be able to throw their hands in the air and say "oh yes! She or he, fell for me. I assume both genders have individuals that do this so it shouldn't be named a "guy thing or a girl thing." They enjoy the thrill and excitement of emotional attachment, but they don't want any of the responsibility or commitment.

"Here are some questions I aim to answer:

• How to avoid being strung along
• How to avoid holding the invisible string
• Cutting off the invisible string
  To avoid being strung along is easy, but ehn.... For some of us, it's not so easy. It involves asking a straight forward question. If you find that you're becoming emotionally invested in someone and no love declarations are forth coming you need to protect yourself by asking "what is going on here?, what are we doing? Or where is this relationship headed?" it has nothing to do with being cheap but has everything to do with knowing where you stand and taking appropriate steps.

The invisible string is a two way thing and you want to avoid hurting the feelings of someone else just because you cannot define yours. Ask yourself and be sure of what you want and what your looking for in that relationship. If you're not looking to be romantically involved, please let them know; plainly or subtly and avoid using them as your emotional crutches. The best way to totally avoid this is to define every relationship from the onset before your emotions become deeply invested and you know when the heart wants something, it's really difficult refusing it.

If you suspect your being pulled by the invisible string, after asking appropriate questions and your suspicions confirmed, the best thing to do in my opinion, is cut all ties, reduce communication, just for the time being until you can keep a clear head and if you can, let him/her know you wanted more from this relationship and explain why you have to withdraw a bit so they understand and the friendship doesn't die out altogether. If it's the other way and you realize you are stringing someone along presently, help them by kindly explaining what you want from the relationship and have an enlightening conversation about it.

Unrequited love can be painful and as such, I believe every individual should be responsible for managing and directing their emotions. In the words of a good friend of mine, "Don't be a victim. Either for the predators or the accidental kind." If it happens, and one has done all the right things, dust your scandals and not look back.