Is there a down side to unschooling?

You're hard pressed to find a more passionate advocate for unschooling than me. The only thing I love more than unschooling is Sudbury, and that's because it's a bunch of kids doing it together and learning from each other in community.

I love how independent they are. I love their drive. I love how trusting and trustworthy they are. I love how much they truly understand and value their freedom. I love how self directed they are. I love their passion. I totally fucking love their creativity.

How do they get that way? I don't want to get super deep into the theory or play research, but let's just cover the basics.

First, kids are driven to learn. Watch them learn to walk. Stand, fall, stand, fall, stand, fall. Repeat about 5000 times. Then stand, one step, fall, stand, one step, fall. Then repeat that several hundred times. It takes years of falling to be able to run fast. Have you ever watched a kid learn to ride a bike? Or talk? They have tremendous drive. The best thing you can do is get out of the way. Turns out they have this same drive for a lot of different things - art, baking, animals, rocks, chemistry, electricity, music. Unfortunately in schools children are force fed things they have no interest in, labeled as horrible people for not being interested, and then lose their love of learning. Left alone, they will passionately follow their interests.

When we let them follow their passions, they end up learning a host of things in the process. Everything requires learning to read. Most things require a basic understanding of math. Most importantly they learn how to learn, how to ask questions, how to be independent and self directed. They learn that you trust them with their education so they respond by being trustworthy and trusting. They learn to get creative in problem solving. It's so magical to watch.

Back to the original question. Is there a down side? I'm so glad you asked. Yes. Yes there is. Are you ready? These pompous turds are so independent that they're likely to be ready to go out on their own early. My oldest always thought he was older than he was, so I thought it was just a one time thing when he moved out at almost 17.

Well, apparently fucking not. Now my sweet, quiet, shy girl who I thought would be here until 20 has informed me she's moving out next year. She'll be 16. Technically she's moving in with her dad, but that's about the same as going out on her own, not because her dad is neglectful but because she has always lived with me and is very attached to me. I am her home.

So that's the shitty part, y'all. You raise these amazing, beautiful, strong, independent kids, and then they leave before you're ready. And just for a minute you wish all those dumbasses who said your kids would be dependent on you forever because you carried them in a wrap or let them sleep in your bed had been right. Not worth it of course, but I'm here to tell you that a kid leaving the nest is absolutely the most gut wrenching, soul tormenting thing that ever happened to me. It was like someone ripped a piece of my soul out, and I'll never get it back. I have to do this three more times. How much soul will I have left?