How to stay single this Month or this year or YOUR ENTIRE LIFE!!

in valentine •  7 years ago  (edited)

Yes, its February and valentines day is near. But what if you want to save few bucks this year on a fancy date? Or what if you're thinking way ahead of time and you want to save all the money required to raise a child, born because of a leaked condom? (Because shit happens!)

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Now for a guy like me, things are pretty straightforward. Never been in a relationship and the girl I admire is... well, let's say she's a homosexual so no chance there. :'(

(Trust me, I'm a dating expert, I've seen people dating in movies and also in real life, so I know what I'm talking about.)

But for you, things may be different. Maybe you're a girl magnet. Or maybe you are THE GIRL everyone has a crush on.

Irrespective of your situation I'm going to put few points which may help you stay single this month or this year or if you're lucky they may work forever. :D

The oldest method in the book


The simplest method is often the hardest. But I'm still going to put it here anyway.

Simply call your significant other and tell him/her that its over.
Now depending on the situation, some drama is expected but this method won't disappoint you and that's for sure!

The easiest way


Ever heard about fight and flight response? Well, it says that whenever there's a situation, you can either fight it or run away (apparently can't do both at the same time).

So if the situation is getting worse every day, all you need to do is fly away like a bird.
Start ignoring your significant other and in few days you'll be free from that relationship.

The fastest way


Well, this one is tough. It's like playing with fire. With this one, you put your reputation at stake. It's like repeating Captain Jack's stunt.

Okay, enough said. Here's your tip: make your significant other believe that you are cheating on him/her (now maybe you're reading this because you are already cheating and that's bad. You shouldn't be cheating. Are you?)
Once he/she will know that you are cheating, your relationship will end in no time!

These were the three methods I can think of right now. If you need any pro advice for being single, please let me know, I'm a professional.

Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to upvote/like, follow and comment.

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