https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CV9_v2jnTYM
"‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away"
Hello! On this day, we celebrate our love to our significant others through gifts, dinner dates, and passionate sex; Well, most of us.
This post won't cover that, but a hidden sect of people in the shadows bordering themselves up in their homes, because they believe that no one loves them or that they cannot find anyone to love them. They bask in the isolation and overtime become increasingly lonely. Inevitably, like me, they start to contemplate self-harm, which was risen from the self-hatred and sabotage. Hence, on this day, an emotional bomb goes off from the validated hatred and instead of getting out of the house and being social, in order to attempt to cure their loneliness with interactions with people; they barricade themselves in a dark room and make passionate love to a bottle of Jack Daniels while crying themselves to sleep, thinking that there is no hope to their predicament.
The doom and glum of their thoughts make it to where they have no escape and everything contradictory to this view is an enemy that must be eradicated, for they are hopeless and they must stay miserable. "Fine no one loves me! Fuck them all! Who cares about people; Frankly I don't care if all of humanity is eradicated off this planet! Give it back to the animals I say!"
Cynicism soon sets in to a higher degree and pain increases the misery to a level that cutting can't cut through. That thin sensation used to justify self-harm soon, like all addictions, lessens, hence the cuts on your arms, or the empty bottles laying around the house, or the journal filled with hateful sentiments. I am not saying that this is an exact blueprint, but a picture that could easily be painted for some. Loneliness causes the mind to produce thoughts that could easily succumb the soul to wanting to drown in intoxicants to combat the sorrow and I must address it now....
Word salads aside, this is a problem plaguing the world right now. With the rise of social media, painting everyone else's life as "oh so good!", Jealousy and Envy soon follow their path. Social Media has caused an enraging addiction, but it isn't as bad of a problem. People also choose to stay on their phones, instead of holding a conversation (OK Boomer). Whether intentional or subconscious, a point must arise.
How can we help people who feel disconnected from other people? There is no concrete answer and there are a myriad of ways to address that start the conversations, but the remainder of this post will be dedicated to giving my answer to the question...
I chose to isolate myself for two years, because I was inspired by Isaac Newton and Demosthenes's stories, but I inevitably realized a problem. Loneliness is a parasite that leads to a bigger one. DEPRESSION! Once this one occurs, it works off the loneliness and makes you feel even more miserable. This cycle continues even as the self-harm and suicidal thoughts start to arrive and intensify. My solution that got me out was this...
1. Learn to endure the loneliness while focusing on bettering your situation through small-scale ACTION
Pain is a great motivator, but if you learn helplessness and remain in that state, pain does the inverse to you, so it's best if you learn optimism instead of drowning in your pain. Now, this is easier said than done and this takes time, but you can learn to endure by setting little goals for yourself (getting up, cleaning your room, learning new subjects, etc.). ...this leads into the next two...
2. Find out the root of your loneliness...
Are you afraid of being around others? Do you think that you aren't worthy of or are too good enough for love? Are you insecure about it or are afraid that you'll lose the person you meet? By asking questions and jotting down notes, you increase the chances that you can map out potential answers.
3. Make a plan to dig your way out of it!
Where can you go to get out of the house (sometimes, that alone is enough to trigger action)? Do you know what you like in people or what people like in you? Do you have any friends that could go out with you or will you be flying solo? I could keep going, but find out what you want to do and push yourself to move in a positive direction instead of descending further down the dark staircase of Loneliness. Adjust for every travesty and keep planning a week ahead at a moderate pace. Don't over-plan; Life is too chaotic to suffice your urge for security!
ACTION IS CRITICAL and every time you get kicked down simply get back up, brush off the dust, and keep fighting. We are all fundamentally alone and the only way you can breach that loneliness is if you are willing to open yourself up to others and risk being rejected. Rejection is part of the process and Pain is the mechanism of inspiration that gives us the urge to change our circumstance. With simple re-framing, you have the ability to change your life for the better...
As for the pickup part of this horny holiday, there are different parts of attraction, outlined in books like Close Encounters; as well as understanding of what women want in guys; as well as understanding the body language of attraction. Now this is where the gurus come in and say "pay for my course and you will have women foaming out the mouth for you!". Sorry ladies, this section is for the guys.
Here is the TL;DR version of how to get women
- Make good eye contact (DON'T STARE and DON'T AVOID)
- Be Confident (with your body language), Charismatic (with your impressions), and Comical (with your conversations)
- Women like Humor more than physical looks overwhelmingly
- Wear the color red (I prefer dark red) it helps a bit...
- Everything depends on Body Language and Tonality; This is why confidence is heavily valued.
- Be able to read the signs to know when to initiate touch (THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT); Understand proximity!
- Understand that every woman is different and everyone lives in their own universe. Build rapport to find their favorite subjects and dig deeper as to their reasoning for liking the things they like, holding the opinions they do, etc....
...and that's it... Happy humping on this day and if you are alone at the moment, remember, life is a roller coaster; there are a series of ups and downs, loops and the like, but as long as there is structure (an end goal), a functioning control panel (moral compass and fundamental beliefs), and an entity to flick the switch (God, Painful Situations, Significant Other, etc.), the ride will function and propel the user forward in the chaotic game that we call life. I'll leave links to all the books that I recommend and for what it's worth guys and gals, have a superb Valentine's Day and I wish you the best to find that special one in your life. Endure the pain and dig your way out. Good luck!
....as for me, I'M OFF TO GET LAID!
Sincerely,
Escalating Minds
Song: Broken (feat. Amy Lee) -Seether
Books to Buy:
The Art of Seduction: https://amzn.to/2uN5Luf
Models: https://amzn.to/2HoZFDd
The Definitive Book of Body Language: https://amzn.to/2SRc8Fc
Evolutionary Psychology (for cheaper version, go to Thriftbooks): https://amzn.to/2Stp98X
Mastery: https://amzn.to/2OVS17n
Close Encounters: Communication in Relationships: https://amzn.to/38tISe9
The Like Switch: https://amzn.to/39BtyMF
Dressing the Man (for Style Ideas): https://amzn.to/2tYT9Qx
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