Veteran Tell me your story....

I always knew that I wanted to join the service. My father did it, as did his father before him, and his before him. So when it was time to decide what I wanted to do, it was more or less how much fun did I want to have. I was not a fan of the Marines, as I thought I was too soft for that. I didnt want to join the Air Force, because I thought I was not a girl. I didnt want to join the Navy, because there are big ass fish out there, So I chose the Army. I elected to join right out of high school and get it all done in one fail swoop. Ok, so I joined...did pretty good on the ASVAB as well, what do I want to do and where do I want to go. I could care less what I did, except infantry, but I wanted to be in Ft. Hood, because that is where my sister and her husband were, so lets go there.

So I went to Ft. Sill, OK for training. Learned how to fight, learned how to read maps, learned how to shoot shit, but most of all I learned how to dig a hole and get yelled at. Yep, that is like a Saturday afternoon back home. What I liked the most, was yep the gas chamber. The best time to go and when you wanted to go was when you had a cold, it was guarenteed to clear it up for ya. After Basic, I learned how to expell STEELREIGN, a term used to spew hot lead down range from a 155mm cannon.

I am not going to lie, those rounds are heavy and I will go into a little detail later on. So basic is done, I head back home for a month of Peer to Peer recruiting, while I get my shit together and off to Ft. Hood I go.

So now in Ft. Hood, we go out and play in the field...chugging rounds and racing around in these massive tanks, playing follow the leader. But be wary, if you think your hot shit....break track and see what happens....they will leave your ass and come back to get you later. (happend one time and I am good). So we are in the field going PEW PEW PEW, or should I say BOOM BOOM BOOM. I will never forget the first time I shot a round down range, mind you those weigh in at a mear 110lbs. The smell...OHHHHH man, I loved that smell, until the name was informed of me...WOLF PUSSY!!!! Wolf Pussy, who in the hell comes up with that crap man. I have never smelled a wolf, and sure as hell do not want to, but since I smelled that sweet smoky smell, I was hooked. I loved plowing the bore...for cleaning, I loved setting up the howitzer for distruction. I loved it all....but then one day it all came crashing down....

Eh, could not find the picture....anyways Yep, dropped a round on my knees and boom. Down for the count. I woke up in a helicopter and man the ride was sweet. I must have been on some good shit. I get patched up and 6 months later, back at it...or so I thought. I could not lift the rounds anymore, I couldnt run anymore. I was put on a P4 profile....Meaning broke dick. So I was the 1st Lt's bitch. I drove his ass when we went out into the field. I could no longer play with the toys or any cool things. I was first to get ops duty, chow bitch...everything. Now the Army was sucking for me. Or was it....

One day I am walking up from Motor pool to get some paint and I see the 1SG walking down. I passed him and he made small chat, I wasnt thinking and didnt answer. He grilled my ass for an hour. As a result he said something like...get over to battalion I need to send someone to headquartes and your the first person I ran into. Ok..What the shit does that mean. So I go over to the headquaters and speak with this newly promoted SGT and he saw I am going to try out for Honor Guard. I didnt even know what that was. He was a grade A assclown. Im better than you because I have a stripes and you dont kinda punk. Whatever. So I learn the ways of the ninja....Spit shined boots, like I mean 3 hours a night spit shit. Lets see.... polish, heat, polish, heat, brush, heat, polish, heat, water and neutral, heat polish.....Yep I can still do it after 14 years...anyways. So, I am one of the smaller guys in Honor Guard at the 1st Cav, so I need to learn scabbard sword. But in order to pass, I need to be able to do all the moves, without making eye contact, without fucking up and holding this tall heavy ass ARMY flag, with all the tassels atop of it. I pass and now I am no longer a field artillery guy....I am on Honor Guard.

Yep I march with swords and shit now. We do all the change of command ceromonies, parades, shit like that. We rarely went to the field. When the General went to the field, so did we. That was the only time we would really play soldier. Most of the time is was practice, practice, practice, shine, clean the building, setup parade field and practice some more. When 9-11 hit, we were detailed to guad check IDs, like everyone else had on that detail. Undercar mirrors, locked and loaded weapons, airport details, sitting in a Humvee watching a bunker. It had old ass crates with motor cycles in it, nothing too cool. I did get some cool shit though, lots of coins. Even this one, which I thought was bad ass...I have it somewhere.

So now that I have done this detail for 12 months, time to return back to my unit. Well we know that I can no longer do much of anything, what should I do there. I was alway the sharpest, because I was conditioned to be the best for the last 12 months. I was back as the new 1st Lt driver, which was kewl. I got the hot meals, drove a humvee over trees, as directed of coarse...Wore NVGs Night Vision Goggles, the stars are amazing with those on BTW. So now we are getting close to me getting done with my time. Well I cannot re-enlist, so I guess its time for me to leave. I turn in all my shit. Stock up on smokes, get a Uhaul, throw up the peace sign and drove my happy ass to Colorado for college....