I Got Myself A Man(Episode 1)

On my first official trip to China, I stumbled into my Chinese friend Doctor Chu's office to ask directions to the main building. And there I was amazed at the sights of these robots that looked like humans; handsome, huge men with wires and electrical stuffs connected to their back.

"Inameti!" He called my name delightedly.
He usually called my name like he was singing it.

"Doctor Chu, what a world you're in right now."

"Yes. This is what I do. I Invent human robots."

"Oh Doctor Chu, I didn't have an idea that you do these things too. I thought you only lecture in universities only." I said.

"I invent robots too." He said abruptly and walked away into a inner room, leaving me to ignorantly find my way to the main building.

I went back home to Nigeria few days later, thinking of Doctor Chu's robots. They were really cute men in designers suit, and I never wished they were humans. Talking of humans with penises and broad shoulders, I'd long lost passion for relationships and love affairs. It gave me heartbreaks and got me crazy. The typical Nigerian man wants to date me for years, have me wash his dirty linens which had lipstick stains of other women, have me submissive even in my worse moments, have me service their beds, feed them and die for them. While they leave me for young girls in bikinis.

I will be clocking thirty five in March, and mama has been really worried about my status without a man.

"Some women reach menopause at Thirty-five Inameti, you're not getting younger, bring home a man." Mama always nagged each time she called.

As I stepped into my house, the bad smell of spoilt spaghetti and egusi soup I left on my sink welcomed me with a blast on my nose. I was already tired, and I closed back my door before I would get sick. My phone rang, and I glanced through it. It was my sister Mimi. She wouldn't let me rest first before she would call?

"Hi Mimi!"

"Inameti, thanks to God your phone finally went through. I have been trying your number since last weekend."

"I was in China, I just arrived."

"Eiyaaa...oh my sister is touring the world. I hope you brought plenty goodies for us o. We are now four! My husband, Ralphael, Emem and Idara." She said shrilly.

"Who is Idara?"

"Your new niece. My husband and I had a baby last week."

"Oh dear, congratulations." I said softly.

"She is so pretty. Mama is seeing her for the first time at our family reunion on Sunday, thank God you came back home on time." She said soothingly. "Any suitor?" She asked.

"Well, I don't wanna talk about that now. See you at the reunion. I will call mama when I am settled." I said abruptly and hung the call. I hung the call because I didn't want to talk about 'The suitor'. Mimi always had a way of getting words from someone's mouth without forcing it. She'd been married ten years ago, quite early, just after she got admission into the university. Mama always compared her life with mine.

"Career woman nonsense, not in my house! Be like your younger sister. You've made enough money for yourself." She always said, each time she came up with 'bring home a man' rants.

I was tired, so tired of all the talks about getting myself a man. The smell of the spoilt spaghetti and egusi soup would not leave my nose. I packed back my luggage inside my car and drove to Santana hotel at Ikoyi. It was were I rested when I had an hectic day.

And after I had a warm shower, I saw Nathan's miss call. He used to be my cleaner, my cook and my sex toy. I paid him for his services, I paid him well. He was good. It's just that he was short. He stood on my shoulder length and I knew what that meant for mama.

"You can bring home a poor man Inameti, but please, don't bring home a short man." She will always say each time we talked about any kind of man.

"Mama, if I eventually get married, I will marry whosoever my heart desires."

"Your heart won't desire a short man, God forbid!" She spat in the air. There was something ridiculous about mama's choices, something I couldn't understand.

I missed Nathan. I liked him a lot. He was humble, and a very submissive guy. I met him a year ago at an interview queue at my company. We needed an assistant branch manager, and he wasn't qualified. So I decided to talk to him about working with me. A wave of affection for him swept over me as time went on. And just before I knew it, we'd made love one afternoon on the kitchen sink. I topped up his salary and he topped up his game. He was all I wanted for the night.

#SuperRomance#
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