Virginity !!!

in victim •  7 years ago 

A friend is going through a messy divorce and she needs your advice. she married her husband as a virgin. she have never been with any man but him until she was raped. she didn't know anything about orgasm, climax or what have you, because she have never experienced it. 8 years of marriage with a miserable sex life. she have two children from her marriage. It happens that she travelled to her husband's village during last Easter period. While in his country home by 1 :00am in the night their house was raided by armed robbers a gang of 7 members . It was a very terrifying experience, after collecting all the valuables at home, the leader turned to rape her. The leader tied her husband to a chair, tore her clothe and went on to show her his manhood that he will use it on her. she was frightened. she begged him and cried but he wouldn't listen. It was a rape that cost her marriage.
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As the guy was entering her, she was supposed to feel pains but that wasn't so. she felt a kind of ,electrifying sensations that she have never felt in her whole life. she screamed oh my God, as he started pounding on her, she didn't know when she hold him hard and begged him not to stop to the amazement of others, she was enjoying being raped by a criminal. she was told she screamed very hard . Yes she had her first orgasm through rape and since then her life hasn't been the same. The robber took her two rounds. she don't know what happened, but all she can say is that she haven't had such with her husband. Her husband gave her the beatings of her life after the robbers left. He called her unprintable names, she is a prostitute,He can't marry a prostitute . she was hospitalized for two weeks as a result of that incident and his beatings . Her husband left her at the hospital and travelled back home. she was Damaged .How could such a thing happened to her? What was responsible for her enjoying being raped and even coming as a result of it? How could she even enjoy such act of cruelty on her body? These were the questions she kept asking herself. When she got discharged she met a divorce papers waiting for her to sign. she tried begging her husband , involved her parents but he swore instead of staying with her, he will rather die. That she is a disgrace to his life. Her husband is a rich guy, so when their divorce news broke out, while she was denying it, he kept telling everyone one that she is a whore. It took her months to accept her predicament and move on. she is still healing, still seeing her therapist. But one thing she know is that she not what her husband says she is. she is just a woman who was sexually starved. she did not pray to be raped, but it was the turning point of her life . I just feel like sharing this with you steemians because it will really help me to comfort her during this period of her life. Pls don't judge her, Soon she will be through with the divorce .
Question

  1. What could she have done differently?
  2. Was it a crime for her to enjoy rape sex like that?
  3. Was the husband being fair to her?
  4. Was divorce the only way out?

Whats your view on this. Thank you.

Nelson Oluomachi Gladys.

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No, her husband was unfair and selfish, and maybe because of him, for her the divorce is actually the only way out of a loveless marriage. I've read a book on rape, and they say women in this situation actually respond (even though they feel guilty about it afterwards, which they shouldn't), as it's the body's way to prepare itself for not being torn and bruised too much by the deed.

Please tell your friend to hold her head up high, and look forward to a beautiful and bright future, not backwards to a dark and loveless past.

thanks , this will go a long way

@puritygoodness, to some extent i think the husband is selfish because is nt her fault to be raped by those robbers and secondly marriage is for better for worst, so why backing off if he truely love his wife...

thanks , i so much appreciate

You are welcom

You are welcome