My top five YouTube videos by revenue

Heavy Irony alert!

I saw someone mithering about the YT adpocalypse the other day and so I thought I'd have a look at my ad revenues.

Ha!

The top five account for just over £6 of "revenue". I use the scare quotes because, of course, that's not actually revenue until it hits my bank account. Until then it's just numbers on a screen, a vague promise of money that might come one day if I ever earn enough to break the payment threshold.

This is the first ridiculousness - In the eleven and a half years I've been on YouTube, ten and a half of which I have been eligible for advertising revenue, I have never received a penny, I've just seen the numbers stacking up (and often not really stacking up very much) on a screen. Over the whole 10.5 years I've got £8.18 sitting in the fantasy piggy bank, that's 78p per year or about one and a half pence per week. If I earned one and a half pence for one post on Steemit, I'd be a bit miffed, but 3p per fortnight for my lovely video work?

Of course it's heartening to know that the long tail of one's content production can generate some income, but figures like that are just a joke, but I'd rather leave my bloggage in the seven-day Steem window than be insulted by looking at the YouTube lifetime numbers.

What are these classic top underearners then?

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The New £5 Note - is me burbling the first time I got hold of a new plastic fiver. It is by far the biggest earner, perhaps it shows I should be doing more current affairs, money-based, burble content.

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Desperately Seeking Harvey - is the first video I managed to upload to YouTube in 2006. So it really has taken eleven years to "earn" its £1.18 - it's one of a series called "All this and brains too" which I did with Debbie Davies around that time. They're improvised comedy stories with us as not very good investigative reporters. I love them. I'll always love them for their low quality, Windows Movie Maker, 2006, let's make a video right here in the back yard and slap it on the internets feel.

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Marketing and Selling Stormhoek Wines - I suppose I probably already got paid for (and probably more than a pound). It's Hugh MacLeod and Jason Korman talking about their conversational wine marketing strategies with Johnnie Moore. This is when they were based in London and I had an office next door but one.

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Grey London - is not about November in the UK capital, it's about the advertising agency's London office. It's part of a series I did promoting work opportunities in the creative industries, so yeah, I was probably paid for that one too. I should stop moaning.

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Charlie Leadbeater at Nesta Uploading Innovation - is from the days when you could walk into a place like that, film someone saying something from a ridiculous angle with appalling lighting and everyone would still watch it and say it was brilliant, just because you got it on the internet within 24 hours. Happy days. This is definitely oversold at 36p.