Day Eight
Fred woke up feeling invincible. Yesterday, he had wrecked a casino, beaten the Chief, and—most importantly—gotten the power crystal. Today, he was going to finish the boat and escape this forsaken island. With a smug grin, he pulled the shiny blue crystal from his inventory and admired it.
"Behold! The legendary power crystal! The final piece to my glorious escape!"
Triumphant, he walked up to the ship’s engine, held up the crystal, and slammed it into the slot. Nothing happened.
Fred frowned. "Huh?"
He tried again. Nothing. The boat just sat there, as useless as a Gronk trying to do math. Fred slowly turned the crystal over. Underneath, there was tiny text engraved into the surface. Fred squinted.
"MADE IN CHINA."
Silence.
"ASLDKJHASDKJHASJHDJKH—"
Fred bitterly threw the crystal into the ocean, where it made a sad little plop. He collapsed onto the deck, face in his hands.
"I got scammed. By a casino. In Muck."
He took a deep breath, then stood up, eyes burning with determination.
"Alright," he muttered. "No more messing around. It’s time to get the real crystal."
And so, with his best weapons, stacked power-ups, and a hunger for vengeance, Fred set out for the Guardian’s lair. The Guardian was no joke. Legends spoke of it as a towering, mechanical nightmare—a titan with laser beams, missiles, and a grumpy demeanour.
Fred followed the map, trekking through dark forests, fighting off random Gobblins that refused to leave him alone, and the villagers wouldn’t dare mess with him. Finally, after an hour of intense hiking, he arrived.
A massive arena, covered in strange glowing symbols, stood before him. Fred stepped forward, heart pounding. The air hummed with energy. The ground rumbled beneath his feet.
And then— The Guardian woke up.
The entire island shook as the Guardian rose from the earth. It was massive—twice the size of Big Chunk, with six glowing eyes, a floating metal body, and blades spinning around it like an industrial blender of death.
Fred gulped. "Uh… maybe I should've brought more than just meat soup for this?"
The Guardian let out a deafening mechanical roar— and blasted a laser straight at his face. Fred dove behind a rock, barely dodging the instant death beam. The rock exploded. Fred screamed. The Guardian charged up another shot. Fred sprinted in a panic, zigzagging like a drunk chicken.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Lasers rained down, setting trees on fire, destroying the landscape, and scaring the Daves.
"OH, COME ON!" Fred yelled. "THAT'S JUST CHEATING!"
The Guardian didn't care. It launched missiles. Fred barely dodged, pulling out his best weapon—the Chunky hammer. With a mighty battle cry, he leapt into the air and swung the hammer down— only for the Guardian to casually weave. Fred missed completely and face-planted into the dirt.
"Ow."
Lying in the dirt, Fred suddenly remembered something important: He still had all his casino power-ups. Including… the jetpack.
With a woosh, Fred blasted into the air, dodging lasers and flying straight toward the Guardian’s face. The Guardian charged up its ultimate attack. A giant, blinding laser, big enough to delete an entire Dave in one shot. Fred had one chance. With a mighty roar, he pulled out his Night blade, aimed directly for the core. The blade pierced through the Guardian’s eye.
For a second, nothing happened. Then— the Guardian glitched out, sparks flying from its body. Fred landed, watching as the massive machine trembled, its lights flickering. With a final, dramatic explosion— the Guardian collapsed. Fred stared at the wreckage. Then, from the ruins, he saw it. A real power crystal.
Glowing, humming with energy, and definitely not made in China. Fred picked it up, holding it above his head triumphantly. He had done it.
Tomorrow… he was leaving this island. Right?