The date was marked December 11th, 1984

         Near the birthplace of Ho Chi Minh (yes, that asshole). Photo taken by me in 2015. 

There are many things my father had shared with me regarding his 70+ years of experience. At this age, he still thinks I am too immature to understand the complexities of life. I agree with him that there is too much that I don't know. I was never apart of a war and I was never locked up in re-education camp. I am only aware of a few details that occurred historically, but I never knew the mission he faced in his lifetime.

Today, I found a few letters stashed away in a cupboard. It had never occurred to me that my dad would place such sensitive material near the bedside of the studio, but I reached in to take a look at some photos in the family album. Near the content were several letters dated to him and my aunt. A majority of my family in Vietnam had left to the States to flee the communists after the war in the 1970s. During that period, my family was poor and the U.S and Vietnam had a closed-door policy. The letter would eventually arrive many months after it had been sent since the letter postmarked in 1984.

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I have always known that my dad was never fond of the communists. He explained to me the brutality of war; he explained to me the ruthlessness of the communists manipulating the lower-class, emotionally, to take advantage of the manpower. I understood that the communists kicked out the French in 1954 at the battle of Dien Bien Phu. Freedom alas! Ohhh, the irony. I had always agreed with him that the French would have been a lesser evil compared to the corrupt Ho Chi Minh, who would later assert his regime over all of Vietnam... killing his own comrades. This was a historical perspective I was aware of and believed in. Aside from my beliefs, their was a deeper meaning to how my dad was so shaken after the war -- not from prison, or blood, but....family.

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Discovering the letters today, I realized my dad had hidden from me a story of betrayal. Before speaking of this family story, I will try to explain my relationship with Vietnam because I believe it is relevant. Speaking with my dad yesterday, I told him that "I wanted to try to love the people (family) who despised me and hated me for the luxury I have (in the states)." I am aware that I have some cousins who may not appreciate me and my beliefs. We live too far apart and have a different understanding of what Vietnam really is and what it means to us. It has always been a place that made me wonder what my dads footsteps were like. Everyone tells me how I look exactly like my dad. I agree that I cannot love the country as much as the natives, however, it holds a dear place in my heart. It hurts me to be aware that they believe I am just a privileged child (I completely agree) who knows nothing of Vietnam's past. Even though I was a little butthurt about their perspective of me, I knew I had no right to judge those who had no freedom to leave the country. Their ignorance ( I hate to use this word) was baked into their existence ever since they were born under such a restrictive regime. Shit talk me all you want, I will try to be loving and understanding when I can towards you. I'm quite glad that they do not understand English and are not reading what is to follow ...

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The youngest brother of the family must have fallen in love with the woman in the early 70s. He is a man I have met several times throughout my lifetime and I had no awareness of what role he would play in my family's history. My dad must have been covering up his reputation, but I had discovered today his betrayal in the family. His current wife must have been smoking hot, but she was also a communist. She saw my grandparents luxury and wanted to take it all for herself. The couple actually brought my grandparents to court and also snitched on the entirety of men who fought against the communist revolution. All in the name of love, the youngest brother betrayed the whole family in order to take the house for him and his wife. This was a man I had spoken with and respected on many accounts. I had visited his home (my grandparent's) and he had welcomed me.

While reading the letters, I felt my dad's anger and pain as if it were my own. I have never had a brother and I am hoping my sister would never make such actions against me. I can understand why my dad has trust for nobody. Over my lifetime, my grandma had passed away and gave the house away to the youngest son. It is ironic to note how he is living in the house now while he fought in court to lose the case in the late 70s. I wonder if he feels any regret and resentment for such actions. I can't imagine the torment he is feeling as my grandma is in her grave. My grandma had raised 12+ kids, 6 of which were men and partook in the war in. The youngest son was lucky enough to avoid being drafted and had the audacity to take everything that belonged to the main family. It is crazy to think how love can lead to such betrayal.

I will try to add more details to this story tomorrow, but right now, I must take a shower and get ready for bed. I am wondering how I will behave once I am in Vietnam to meet my uncle again. He dislikes me; I can feel it! I will try to pretend like I am unaware of the family history, and will go on to treat him and his wife well. I am quite thankful for their hospitality overall. Maybe they must treat me well.

In the end, it is too much negative energy to hold resentment in our hearts. What's in the past is the past. We should try to have enough love to go around for family. Hopefully, I can make him chuckle up a laugh by telling him some of my horrible mistakes as well.

P.S My dad is still unaware of my findings today. It will make way for an interesting conversation in the future :)

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On Bitcoin and Cryptos

Brace yourselves for some cheaper Bitcoin. I am talking to a girl in Saigon who has an appreciation for Bitcoin; that makes her automatically 2x more attractive. I think I will gift her some Ethereum Classic when we meet.

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@kevbot

This channel is meant to be my journal of thoughts on crypto, working, traveling, and food. Sourced with photos, videos, and blogs.

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