BODY LANGUAGE

 One of the easiest ways to analyze other people is to look at their body language.
How a person holds themselves, moves, and even speaks can tell you a lot about
them.

Everyone has plenty of variation between their mannerisms, and there’s no
exact way to tell what makes up a person. There are still many similar
indications among groups of people that can give you a deep insight into how
someone functions.

It’s not easy because it starts with becoming aware of your own body language.
In order to understand and attempt to overcome the enigma that is body
language, you have to be hyper aware. In book one, we took you through the
process of becoming aware of your thoughts and where they might come from.
Now it’s time to work on becoming aware of your body.

In order to learn what
makes a person different from others based on their body language, you have to
first look at yourself and analyze how you hold your body.

Some people might be more aware of their movements than they are their
thoughts. Women are likely going to be more aware of their bodies and the space
they take up, mostly because of the patriarchal society we grew up in.

Everyone
still might find difficulty in confronting the way they hold their body. You can
lose focus while trying to maintain awareness, becoming too insecure with your own body and movements.

This first chapter will go into the basics of body language while also laying a
basis for how you can analyze others. Once you get to know the body movements better of another person, you can also understand what makes them unique. The more you know about a person, the better you can conclude the best strategy for persuasion.

Cultural Differences
Every person is different, and sometimes, how one person holds their body has a
different meaning than someone who stands the same way.

There are plenty of ways that a person’s body language differs, so it’s important to remember that not everything about a certain body movement is 100% true for every person. This is especially important to remember when talking to people with different cultural backgrounds.

There are some cultures that practice modesty, so touching might be completely
off limits. Other cultures might be more open to expressing their feelings
through their bodies, so culture is important to remember when thinking about
how a person might use their body.



EYE CONTACT:

Eye contact is one of the biggest clues you can use to determine how someone
truly is. It’s important to become aware of your own use of eye contact as well,
because it gives others clues about your personality and true nature. Maintaining
eye contact is important to let a person know that you’re interested in what
they’re saying and that they have your full attention.

It can also be overused, however, and let people know that you’re trying too hard
to convince them that you’re listening. Too much eye contact can sometimes
intimidate others as well, so if you notice that a person is getting nervous
because of the amount of eye contact you’re having with them, change it up
every now and then.

Pupil dilation can be a direct indication that a person is interested in what you’re
saying. Studies have proven that when a person’s pupils begin dilating whom
you’re making eye contact with, they are more interested in what you have to
say. They are listening to you with their utmost attention, and they’re thinking
deeply about what you’re saying. You know when a person’s pupils are dilated
while talking to you that they are legitimately interested in the conversation.

Shifty eyes will indicate the opposite. Someone who is looking at your eyes back
and forth is probably trying to convince you that they are listening. They are
aware that they need to try and make eye contact, but they are completely zoned
out with what you are saying. Those with shifty eyes might also be lying to you
or trying to deceit you in some way. They might be having difficulty maintaining
eye contact with you because they know they are being deceitful.


MOUTH MOVEMENTS:

What someone does with their mouth is very crucial in understanding their
personality as well. Someone with tight or pursed lips might be trying to
concentrate, or they also might be trying hard to hide a sour face. You can
analyze a person’s smile as well. If the corners of their eyes aren’t creased, they
might be forcing a smile with you.

Someone that’s faking a smile isn’t necessarily evil, they might just be thinking
of something else, too distracted to give their full attention to what you’re
saying. Sometimes, smiles are also reactions to uncomfortable situations.

When monkeys smile, it’s not because they are happy, but mostly because they
are showing their teeth as a way of threatening those around them. When they
feel scared and nervous, they’ll open their mouths wide, showing that they have
teeth they could use to hurt. The same goes for dogs. They only show their teeth
when they are feeling threatened. For humans, this can be true sometimes as
well, but on a subconscious level.

Nervous laughing and smiling are just a way for a person to alleviate their
tension. You can tell someone is genuinely smiling when they have creases in
the corners of their eyes.

A person that is continually covering their mouth also is usually nervous. They
might bite their lip, finger, or put a fist over their mouth. Knowing when a
person is uncomfortable or nervous can sometimes be helpful when trying to
persuade them. We’ll discuss how and when to use this knowledge to persuade
others in the next two chapters.

NODDING:

How a person turns and tilts their head can be a subtle movement. Most of the
time, others aren’t as aware when they are moving their head around. The neck
and head movements of the person you’re talking to can give you great insight
into what they might be thinking on a deeper level.

Someone that nods their head rather quickly while listening to you might just be
anxious, trying to move the conversation along as quick as possible. They’re
attempting to set a pace for you so that you speak faster. They want to let you
know they hear you, but you’re not speaking fast enough. If someone is doing
this to you, try to speed up your words in order to hold their attention.

Someone who tilts their head to the side might have a legitimate interest in what
you’re saying. They are attempting to turn an ear towards you, so they can hear
you better, whether they’re aware of their movements or not. They also are
indicating to you that they hear you and they want you to keep talking. It’s a way
for them to get closer to you in the conversation without having to make any
interjections or interruptions.

If someone is nodding too artificially, they might just be attempting to convince
you that they are interested in what you are saying. They could be aware that
they should be paying attention, but they might have lost interest. In an attempt
to keep up, they pretend to nod their head. They also might not understand what
you’re saying, so they nod to make you think they’re keeping up.

HANDS AND ARMS:

How someone uses their hands and arms is another way that body language can
be interpreted to get a better understanding of the people you’re interacting with.
Our hands represent so much about ourselves. They’re a way of expressing out
stories, putting different emphasis on various parts. If someone’s telling a story,
they’re going to use hand gestures to keep people interested. Think of someone
engaged in a conversation as someone that’s directing an orchestra. They’ll lift
their hands to keep up a rhythm and pace for those listening around.

Someone’s hands and arms can also express how open or closed off they are.
They can be like the doorway into someone’s body. If they’re crossed tightly in
front of someone’s chest, that person might be a little more closed off, not
wanting to engage too much in conversation. Having their arms crossed doesn’t
always mean that someone is necessarily closed off. They might also just be
wanting to rest their arms, so if they’re loosely hanging in front of their chest,
they’re likely just casually listening to you.

Someone’s hands and arms can also express how open or closed off they are.
They can be like the doorway into someone’s body. If they’re crossed tightly in
front of someone’s chest, that person might be a little more closed off, not
wanting to engage too much in conversation. Having their arms crossed doesn’t
always mean that someone is necessarily closed off. They might also just be
wanting to rest their arms, so if they’re loosely hanging in front of their chest,
they’re likely just casually listening to you.