A lot of negative thoughts float in my brain and heart when times are hard and that attracts negative people to me. It causes me to make mistakes, or say things I do not mean. Each of us has this potential for darkness.
I'm aware of all the hate I get in secret, and I see some of it publicly. It is taking heaps of courage for me to be in any public eye, and many know my vulnerabilities. This will get easier over time as I get more involved.
Just know I am doing my best to be better and make the world around me better.
My behavior in the past does not reflect who I am now and who I am tirelessly working to be!
I have stopped talking to exhausting people who I have to practically beg to hangout with. I have learned to recognize doubt and give it a hug. If I lie to someone, I immediately correct it and call myself out. I am working through my fragmented memory, and I have no choice but to face the roots in all of these poisonous plants that grow in the garden of my heart. It is painful to pull them from the soil, it is painful to remediate the soil.
To an untrained eye, healing looks like massive destruction. And I suppose it is. Destroying an old, false self can be painful. Destructive habits can be comfortable.
This takes a certain level of bravery I did not think I possessed, and at times, I do not think I have it still.
I will be doing this challenge all month and will be catching up slowly. <3
I am inviting new people in all the time, as I know I cannot make this shift into a positive outlook on myself alone. I will surround myself with loving, supportive, and uplifting people who only want the best for me. I just hope I can open my heart to accept it and know what it looks like. Change comes in weird ways, stay open and grateful. Have a powerful week.
Ah, if you want loving and supportive people, look no further then Steemit! I am glad to witness your transformation :)
Maybe the awesomeness here will attract more awesomeness in your life <3
Also your art is beautiful! its wierd but I like the way her feet are placed and the colour of her wings! Blessed be <3
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Thank you so much sweet soul! You reading all of that and being present with me here really means so much. <3 I know that the awesomeness here will, I have learned so much and cannot wait to share and share and share all of the info I deemed 'too uninteresting' for facebook.
Thank you so much for that! Drawing bodies is so challenging because of all the different shapes put together in complex ways so you saying that makes my heart want to grow wings an fly to your heart and give it a kissy. <3 So glad we are both connecting digitally! ^_^
happy dance!
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Fuck that 'uninteresting' facebook bullshit man! Its so soul draining. Just people pretending to be perfect and not giving a fuck.
I am so glad to be present with you! Even if it is only over the interwebs! Keep on sharing and exploring the wonderful land of Steemit <3
Aha yeah, I lovvvee drawing human bodies. I think humans are so beautiful, especially girls too, I just love the curves <3
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Dude seriously. I have an art page on fb and I don't want to leave them all hanging either. I do my very best to never glance at the feed, as I am pretty sure that particular feature of the website is a mind control mechanism. It is creating a dystopia for ads. I have recently begun making, editing, and creating my own progress videos that are sped up. Fb wants me to pay them for likes, off of these videos I worked super hard to make inthe first place. So they will never get my $$$. :P
<3 The interwebs is still a connection and I have met some awesome people though this fantastic tool. People who I connect with deeply and am grateful for, and also never would have met without the interwebz. <3 So I feel you there. Steemit is a great place, waaaaayyyy less stress than fb.
And yes, female figures are beautiful in many shapes and sizes! Male figures are a challenge for me, but quickposes.com is really aiding my journey there. <3 Thank you for being you. ^_^
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Ahh thats redic, Fb is becoming more and more outdated and screwy haha. I still go on it if I feel mindless and to talk with my friends, but mostly on my posts on there I just get huge long arguements lol. Its lame, here people have discussions more so.
OOO I will check out quickposes, seems helpful! I also find curvy girls easier then the masculine form easier :P
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