I hate money...
This is more a personal rant than some brilliantly written psychological piece but if you want my two cents (I'm freaking funny okay?) then I have something to tell you. I have been treated poorly all my life by my classmates, peers, and acquaintances based on my family's income. Seriously. And the most hilarious, or perhaps just hypocritical thing, is that they are all broke too. I've had huge rifts put between me and my friends over finances.
However, I've also had some of the most rewarding friendships crop up from simply being poor. We don't have the money to go out and do stuff together so we make our own fun. Use our secondhand computers and our stolen software and homebrew programs and we make art with things that are unconventional and we talk and we actually know each other. We don't need all these special fancy outings just to be happy with each other.
I guess I should give some background. I'm fresh outta teen years man. My brother tells me near constantly I should get a job, even though I am still in highschool. My mother says my current job is just graduating, but then what? What will I do? I also wanted to be a writer, but there is no money in it. I wanted to be an artist, but there is no money in it. I wanted to be a musician, but there is no money in it. I have some family members tell me that I should find work where there is money, but why? Why should I slave away at something that I can't even do well because I don't enjoy it? There are always going to be people who are super willing to work these jobs. Why do I have to be one of them? I understand that I would have to supplement my income with a real job, instead of being a full time artist. Even I know, with all the wild dreams in my head, that I just can't do it. You have to be good at it to make a living.
I come from a little ghetto in New Hampshire. Yeah, New Hampshire has those. It is just a scummy, disgusting little place with obnoxious old people proverbially beating the youngsters with their canes. Stay off my lawn you useless hellspawn Or something like Kids these days are so ungrateful, hey where's my McDouble you minimum wage service worker I want it now Or the beautiful Oh you made one little mistake time to ruin your life I'm sorry but where I live, the elderly seem incredibly entitled. The city strips the funding of our schools and does God knows what with it. The kids aren't the focus at all here. Its like they don't matter. I have been denied so many opportunities because of this hell hole I live in. I know, other people have it worse. However, I am talking about my situation. That is like me saying I shouldn't try to lose weight because someone else is bigger than me. I'm sorry, but everything can be improved. The old arse people here just don't want to see that happen. Look, you're going to live for maybe another 5 years and I have to deal with the mistakes your geriatric ass made for the next 80 years.
Back to wealth. A lot of old people move to this area due to how abysmally terrible the housing is. I am not kidding. They come here with their massive wealth, fix these homes up and put them out on a market where no one can buy. Seriously, it is just so stupid. These people also have a huge hand in the politics of this area. The kids are treated like leeches that only do drugs and mooch off their parents or the government. It is sad, but no money goes to improving our down town. No money goes to improving our schools. It all goes to these old politician types that mess up our politics. It is sad.
This just perpetuates a cycle of poverty that is almost inescapable. I feel so lost and frustrated and stuck. I haven't been given the tools to even get a job. I have to get a job and the only things I know how to do are self taught and useless. I'm terrified of my own future. It is awful. Perhaps one day, maybe people can stop viewing me as useless because I'll have a job and be another cog in the machine. This was pointless why am I writing this? I'm just going to be exploited by some company for my strength and strong back until I suffer some medical problem and no longer matter.