Two men are awaiting trial after being caught on the high seas armed with harpoon-guns and mobile phones. The two men were allegedly hunting Steem Whales, an endangered species of highly mysterious whales that have recently been sighted around the world. The men took to the seas, apparently hoping to find whales aboard Norwegian fishing ships or near remote islands such as Hawaii and Tahiti. Black market prices for the blowholes of these unique creatures have skyrocketed recently following a recent increase in the value of crypto-currency Steem as well as a wave of rampant sexual deviants eager to make dirty puns with the word "blowhole". The would-be poachers thankfully didn't manage to nab any of the majestic internet-swimming mammals, but since they were caught in the waters near India there has been significant talk that they will be tried for Conspiracy to Murder, after news of India declaring whales and dolphins to be non-human persons.
These turned out just to be rumours, however, with Indian officials stating:
"Steem whales were not part of the late-2015 ruling. In fact, we don't consider Steem whales to be human at all."
The poachers will however be fined for illegal hunting of an endangered species, and will still go on trial to face possible jail-time.
-IBS News