A REAL JEWEL

This post is in memory of my paternal grandmother, the only one I knew, as my mother's mother passed away when I was barely four years old. We called my grandmother "Mama" and my grandfather was called "Papa" by all the family. The following remembrance was written by my Aunt H., who married my father's brother John. It was printed in a local newspaper many years ago and is somewhat tattered, so I carefully typed the text of the article here as a way to preserve it as well as share it.

"I had a mother until I was only ten years old, but when I was just 18, I acquired the most wonderful mother-in-law any person could ask for.

"Mama had four children the day she married. Maybe I should explain that. Papa's wife had died, leaving him with three little boys and one little girl. In those days (the early 1900s) there was not a day care center down the street to place them in while he worked. It was customary to remarry so there would be a caretaker in the home.

"I don't know about his first wife, but I can tell you he hit the jackpot with the second one! She was much younger than Pa and had never been married, but she really loved those little ones. Eventually, she had eight of her own (including a set of twins — the poor thing!) and my husband was her fourth one. But people in the town couldn't remember where the dividing line was between the first batch and the second batch of younguns. Later, the older ones would just about scratch out the eyes of anyone who called her their stepmother.

"Then she began to have daughters-in-law and sons-in-law. It was the same old story. She treated them just like they were her own.

"When I became one of those in-laws, I thought she seemed to take a special interest in me, but I soon found out they all thought that. You know, that takes a special person, doesn't it. She was just a wonderful Christian lady who had so much love to give, she just loved everybody.

"I went to college late in life and finished up my education at Valdosta State. That was not but about 14 miles from her home, so I stayed with her a couple of nights a week when I had something special to do at the college.

"Papa had already died so it was just Mama and me. She would have a meal on the table fit for a logger when I got home every afternoon. I talked to some of the members of the family about her spending so much on groceries for me and she wouldn't let me buy any, nor would she take a dime for any.

"They all agreed that I should just let her do it because she didn't eat right when she was by herself. They seemed to think I was actually doing her a favor. When I found out how much she loved Burger King hamburgers, occasionally I'd tell her not to cook that night and I would bring some home.

"When I graduated, I looked and looked and thought about what in the world I could give her to show my appreciaton. What the heck do you give a lady in her 80s who has 12 kids? She didn't need or want for a thing in the world!

"One day I was in a gift shop and found a ridiculous, multicolored, stuffed, toy elephant. The note I enclosed with it said that every time she looked at it she would think of me because she fed me so well I felt I looked like that after two years of her good cooking.

"Ordinarily, Mama was a very quiet, no-foolishness kind of woman. But that day she would hold that silly thing and laugh and laugh, She set it up on top of her television set, and that's where it stayed until her things were divided after her death. She didn't even let children play with it. She said she had lived to be an old woman before she got her first stuffed toy.

"When the family gathered to divide her things a few years later, my daughter said she didn't want a thing in the house except that stuffed elephant. It had a double sentiment to it for her since I had given it to her grandmother.

"Dear God, help me to love like that dear lady did who had been my mother for many more years than I knew my own mother. Amen."

written: February, 2003
printed in the newspaper of Ashburn (GA)

I am so grateful to my aunt for these wonderful memories of Mama.