I Met the Most AMAZING Woman Yesterday

in womenspeakout •  7 years ago 

Glass Ceilings

It happens a lot in business. I'm told in order to be successful I should act less like a woman and more like a man. It's commonly said that a woman is too emotional to truly climb the corporate ladder. Too emotional and our minds and thoughts are scattered and unorganized. We are impulsive. And for those reasons we have a glass ceiling. I call BULLSHIT.

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I've never hid my femininity from the corporate types. I've been emotional when I felt it appropriate. I throw ideas out left and right when I'm feeling creative; regardless of how stream of consciousness or left field they might be. I've been myself, and to the disappointment of many of my male peers (and on occasion superiors) I've been highly successful. And I've done it in an extremely technical, heavily engineering-driven, "man's world" industry.

I thought I was a badass. And then I met Despina

Like me, she has spent most of her career in male-dominated industries. She spent many years as a Civil Engineer working in traffic engineering where she was the only female in the company. She was promoted and faced a lot of animosity from her male peers. But she didn't care. She worked hard, she deserved it, and she was chosen based on merit. Her approach was different than mine; she gave in to the BS. She stopped wearing make up to work. She never showed emotion. She lived in a man's world, and acted just like the men.

And Then Her World Changed

Her husband of 12 years decided to go back into active duty military during war time. He's a physician and wanted to help. Immediately he was deployed on a submarine. Gone under the ocean for six months. You don't get phone calls or emails from sailors on a boat. You can, in emergency situations, contact the spouse liaison who will contact the ship's captain. Who may or may not respond depending on what's going on at the time. The guys on the boat prepare, practice and drill every single day for events that may or may not happen. They are on a mission and that mission does not stop for any at-home emergency. The submarines house Seal teams and the missions are top priority.

She Worried and She Cried Every Single Day

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6 months later her husband is home safely, but not without incident. For reasons nobody can explain (or is allowed to say) they had problems on the sub. How she described it (from his words) is the wall became the floor. The submarine had rocked and literally turned on it's side. There was diesel fuel spilling everywhere, and potential fires in multiple places. Men were thrown about with several injuries. There were zero fires and zero casualties that day.

Quality Engineering Saved Lives

Later they attend a Navy gala event. Despina was fortunate to meet a Navy Admiral. Immediately she thanked him for bringing her husband home safely. He replied "I did not, but our suppliers, engineers and 'team submarine' did". Team Submarine is what they call the folks at General Dynamics-Electric Boat. If you're not familiar, they make all the military vehicles; combat tanks, submarines, aircraft and aircraft carriers. She then said, "Sir, I don't know exactly what that is, but I would like to work for you and Team Submarine". When he asked why, she said with tears in her eyes

"I Want to Give Back"

And that was all he needed to hear. She landed an amazing job because of her emotion. Fast forward a few years and she now is responsible for the primary design of the new Columbia Class submarine. This is the largest and most advanced engineered nuclear submarine in the history of the world.

So as you can imagine she is a very busy woman. Hugely crucial role in a company that builds military vehicles. There really isn't more of a male-dominated industry than military engineering. Yet she's on top. And never, not once, hid her emotion in this role.

Yesterday she was at my place of business (we make a component part for all submarine classes) and she cried in front of all 100 employees at my facility. She is a VP level, yet takes time out of her schedule to come to suppliers and be nothing more than a military wife who is grateful for quality workmanship that saves lives. She came to thank us.

She cried as she told her story. She didn't hide any of her so-called female emotions that supposedly will hold her back in her career. She was a woman, an engineer, and a wife. She was the most human of anyone in her field I've ever met.

She Succeeded in Her Career BECAUSE She's a Woman, Not Despite It

Later we are on a shop tour of our facility, and she asks me "So how it is being the only woman on the management team?" We have a nice 30 minute discussion about it. She's the first one to ever notice.

So, Despina is responsible now for a $100B (yep billion) project that will save countless lives. She got there from being emotional. From impulsively asking for something. For speaking her mind on a whim in what was actually just a random idea.

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Yep. I'm crying. This is an AMAZING story! Wow. Just... Give me a second...

Okay. I want more stories like this. I love hearing about successful women who let their humanity show, who inspire others by being vulnerable and strong at the same time. Thank you for this post!

Fully agree. That's an amazing story. Thanks for sharing it, @appiepearl.

Thank you. I cried like 4 different times while she was here. What an uplifting moment for my entire company. We all walk a little taller now because of her.

What a story!!

Glass Ceilings are a favorite thing to shatter....
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This is AMAZING! My family likes to joke that I'm the designated crier in our family, so Despina's story is so inspiring!

This is truly touching and inspiring. Thank you fo sharing this piece

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Never let who you are get in the way of your success.

She sounds like an amazing woman, someone that should be looked up to.

She was nothing short of amazing.

Your post was pleasant to read because it is very well written. Women and men are equally strong – just in a different way. None is better than the other. Both are equally needed to create good products and to lead a company.

That's an awesome story @appiepearl! I personally think women have better people skills. I am convinced that if women were in power, we would have less wars, so I'm all for emotion =)

Thank you! Me too. It's totally possible to be human AND highly successful in technical fields. But for some reason the corporate world is very slow to understand and appreciate that.

Wow thats incredible. I'm sure her being emotional isn't nearly the same as mine but i def do believe that there is power in being able to express yourself fully with tears and even angry passion. Its one thing that I struggle with is the extreme version I have being that i have anxiety and depression but I have had many great moments of channelling my passion and my words and it def breaks past all the stereotypes.

That said, its not when I'm emotional that I have the most trouble. Its when Im literally trying to work! Aka its expected that I am emotional... Interesting woman and of course an amazing perspective and great writing :) another awesome one @appiepearl !

Thanks @limabeing :)
I’m often highly emotional at work. I’ve learned over the years how to channel it to be most effective. But it does work. People follow passion.

Hmm well, sometimes. At my work people follow whomever is the most aggressive or most senior, lol. But then, I work retail in downtown boston. Theres not much to be passionate about.

Leadership is an interesting thing, really. The dynamic changes all the time and of course is totally different everywhere you go. Personal experience only, but I firmly believe I became the most senior because people followed me. Chicken and egg of sorts...