Technology 'isms (race, sex) in the late 1990s, early 2000s

The truth is I met some amazing male and female colleagues in my career in tech (still friends) in the 90s/00s, I learnt possibly the most easily transferable skills I could have and I made good money which afforded me to buy my own place nearly 20yrs ago in London, rental from which gives me a lot of freedom today. It truly practically empowered me, I am still reaping the benefits.

However I am sure lots of women in male environments have experienced similar and I don’t think about it in any other context than I am nervous when my 4 yr old daughter eventually starts work she shouldn’t be put off from any industry because of idiot office cultures.

I spent much of my 20s in tech and was in the minority. In my 30s I worked in fashion so that was reversed (that has its own dynamics not for this post) and in my 40s I have been portfolio working/ developing my own business so it’s a different set up.

So of course, the open undermining or skeptism even when you have justified your opinion but when you get something wrong, the over-reaction, scape-goating - no apology when it turns out to be someone else’s fault.

I have just listed the worst comments (this does not include behaviour as well) which were mostly in my 20s, before laws were in place and I got old, so the only way to get a raise was to get good/high value skills, be able to pass the interview tech exams, change jobs and go contracting, and remember the people who were good to you… which I did and my salary went up exponentially everytime I moved jobs :

there were some major politics when I walked into the job… my immediate boss was obstructive in all the ways he could be, it was one of my first jobs but variations of the following on daily basis : ‘I saw you on asianbabes (dot) com ha ha ha’ (porn site if you are not familiar)… ‘oh are you angry with me …give me a kiss ha ha ha’ .. there were so many.
different company, by a colleague friend who thought he was being really funny on my leaving card … “nice t*ts” crossed out and put in its place “nice teeth”. There was actually mostly friendly banter there but now again some people couldn’t help it.

At a very white office a senior male colleague ‘you have a nice accent - I wasn’t expecting that’ … probably not from malice …I love casual racism compliments.
the boss said you like it in that ‘style’ …. yup this was actually said to me totally out of context when we were talking about his surfing holiday… he was a complete perv and I am pretty sure said it every girl in the office - I was so gobsmacked, I just had to walk away

• office banter … you would make a good ‘secretary’ (replace the word in quotations, anything other than the job I was doing/chosen/have been/qualified to do) .. I actually said in response to that comment ‘yeah and you would make a good manager if you were ever here’ and the office laughed as he was actually absent most of the time and he went all red and said ‘touche’

• being mistaken for the intern more than once when I have been much older than in my 20s
  been given money to go get the tea for a meeting when I was more qualified than my boss
  been told to pick the highlighter pen colour of the project …. seriously eventhough I was more qualified and experienced on the project than my boss

• you need to get a sense of humour

• yeah they selected you because you are a woman

There are so many other comments and behaviour etc etc and sometimes yes I have come up with a quick witty response or angry retort and everyone is like ‘’ooohh, she has got her knickers in a twist’ but luckily most places I have had allies and there have been decent bystanders .. amazing male and female colleagues who have facilitated, championed, defended me (as hopefully I have them - I will never forget you) or bosses who valued my work and lucky for me they are still in my network.

Just wanted to add most of this was in the heyday of the late 90s/2000s and I worked within finance …. unfortunately I am not sure if things have got much better though some of my girlfriends have kept their head down and stayed in tech in finance and obviously went contracting and are making an absolute fortune: “Here's why women, blacks and Hispanics are leaving tech”.

Just an edit. I did have fun as well and learnt tech skills, data, problem solving which have been invaluable in other careers since. Also for the time, my experiences were probably not much worse than other industries and though I worked hard, it was kind of easy money compared to jobs my friends at the time were doing say in sales, banking, law etc.

Me in a coding job in finance with my geeky glasses before I had my eyes lasered. This is what photos used to look like in 2002 and we had to wear suits to work and you could put mascots like a teddy on your monitor because it was big as a small stool … oh yeah someone said I looked like a quality street chocolate in this number, I took it as a compliment.