dTube: Is Convincing Someone to Have Sex "Coercion?"
7 years ago by davidpakman (76)
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No. Coercion involves force or threats.
Convincing someone to have sex without using force or threats is merely persuasion, and there is nothing wrong with it.
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Indeed. Convincing and coercion are worlds apart.
While my gut reaction was "but no one should have to be convinced to have sex, they should both just want it" I can see that's a simplification. People can want someone but need convincing to do it. I might want to fly to New York but be scared of the plane crashing - someone could convince me that flying is safe and everyone works out fine.
Someone might want sex but we worried about pregnancy or STDs and the partner convinces them they will be adequately protected and safe. Or they might be worried about commitment or maybe they both work in the same company and be worried about other people finding out. All are legitimate cases where "convincing" come into play.
I'd say it would be unethical if the person convinces the other party with lies and deception - but that is not implied.
If they use badgering and other mental games or abuse (like a sociopath might do) then it is more like coercion.
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I appreciated your reply to the young gentlemen, it's important to swing this extreme pendulum back to a middle position where people can think more rationally.
This is definitely a dangerous consequence with the way much of media has reported on these 'sexual misconduct' incidents, nurturing an anxiety that maybe last week's hookup was more inappropriate than someone remembers or that any advancement of interest is somehow harassment and should be treated as such. We're seeing more and more young people like this confused and self-doubting to an unhealthy degree.
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The answer to the question in the title? Kind of...It would depend on what the relationship between you and them is like.
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