To be happy, we need to change ourselves, not the world

The daily life constantly provokes our negative emotions with various forms of injustice, conflicts and stressful situations in which it is difficult for us to keep our temper and let our anger or fear lead us. In such moments, it is very easy to perceive the "I versus all" or "we against them" behavior and to believe that we are good, and "they" - the bad ones.

But if we hate people who do not agree with us, then we are also entering the team of the haters. And when we hate, we are deprived of the ability to see others in their totality, which is far from being just black.

By dehumanizing others, just because they think differently, turning them into our enemies, we only make it more difficult to communicate with them. This, in turn, deepens our problems, nourishes our fear and anger, raises our stress and isolation - quite normal, because when we are angry or frightened we tend to focus solely on our negative emotions and thoughts on the possible the dangers that await us, and this can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The good news is that we always have the opportunity to change the way we perceive ourselves, the others and the world around us. Perhaps we mistakenly believe that the obstacle to our happiness is the external circumstances or that our understanding of others depends on their attitude and on whether they share our opinion. But that is not the case ...

"We must be the change we want to see in the world," remember this so often quoted council, right? Do not fall into the trap of the dangerous belief that the world needs to change to be better, more tolerant, happier, and so on. Change is an internal commitment that is only our responsibility.

Conscious efforts are needed to appreciate the good and to treat the good of the world. We offer you four ways backed by science to help you achieve this.

Seek good in others

And when you find it, notice it and appreciate it. This may seem artificial and excessive, but research shows that our expectations have a strong impact on the behavior of others. When we treat others with goodness when we expect them to respond with the same, the likelihood of responding to goodness increases.

A curious fact: A recent study has shown that acts of kindness activate parts of the brain that are involved in motivation for social engagement and action. This means that if we witness "doing good", it is very likely that we too will "pass it on". Psychologists call this phenomenon a "moral elevation effect". For the first time, this effect was explored in 2010 when scientists at the University of California, San Diego, demonstrated the effectiveness of a fun experiment - they included volunteers in a very ordinary game. During the experiment, psychologists find that when people selflessly help others, they infect with goodness and others.

Try not to focus on negativity

Strange as it sounds, it is much harder for people to stay focused on the positive side of life, and much easier to fall into the trap of the negative one, re-energizing potential threats, gaps in life, or communicating with others. That is why the media engage us with so many grim and negative stories because they know they will keep our attention on them.

Although it is good to be aware of the possible threats and problems, it is dangerous not to consider the prospects. To the things that worry us, we must always come to terms from the point of view of people who can handle all the vicissitudes, no matter the difficulty. By accepting the role of a sacrifice that passes through life with the conviction that it can do nothing to change its unfortunate destiny, we commit ourselves to suffering and misery. That is why, sparingly distribute the time you devote to negative stories, people, thoughts, and emotions.

Beat this moment

Life consists of a series of present moments. By attending here and now, you will not forget that you are responsible for the quality of your own life. Scientists, exploring this attitude of life, assure that it reduces stress and increases our compassion for others and our own happiness.

Practice daily meditation of loving kindness

Visualize an atmosphere of joy, freedom, and love. Imagine yourself, your loved ones and even people you do not like, happy and loving. Researchers say this kind of meditation strengthens our emotional sustainability and stabilizes social ties that can help us cope with future challenges.

Source: psychologytoday.com

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Much love - Krisii

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