"Diary"

^{Me on Mt Lemmon, Tucson Az about 1977}

As I gaze across the memories of my life,
I am stricken by the barrenness of it;
By the lack of close, loving
Relationships.

Sure,
I’ve had lovers and of course I have loving family,
But for so many years even they were kept away,
Both by my destructive behaviors, and by my
Not wanting them too close
So that they would see what I did.

Things are a bit different now.
I still have no one in my life, and frankly
At this point,
I really can’t imagine anyone coming in to fill that void.

I am older now;
I am fat and not so pretty to look at as I once was.

I am content with my lot in this respect,
I suppose,
But we can never know what might be
Right around the
next corner.

“Diary”

^by
Jerry E Smith
©3/23/2015

^{These .gifs were created for me by @coquiunlimited; many thanks}