Suicide, a cry for help

For those who may not know, I write short musings and thoughts on Instagram @alfie_ciru_the_blog every day. So what I do is just before I sleep, I note something down then post it in the morning. So yesterday night, when I was about to sleep, I had the idea to write something short. Few words that carry a lot of weight.

The words that came to mind first were "Love me". But before I noted them down, a memory knocked on my brain like 'hello, do I mean nothing to you??'. So naturally, I had to pause and rethink the whole thing. Due to the endless election break, I watched the entire Harry Potter series. So imagine me putting my face in a pensieve... In case you are not a die-hard Harry Potter fan, this is the silver basin/bowl that Dumbledore had in his cabinet in which he used to review his memories (I sound geeky, I know). Now, in my memory, I was walking with someone in the arboretum garden. I do love and enjoy long walks of nature. And on this particular day, we found a few guys staring up into the trees and talking with this concerned look on their faces. One of them was a police man. Of course my first instinct was to stop in my tracks. I prefer to stay away from the 'boys in blue' as we used to call them in our primary school English compositions. But the person I was with was a curious one and wanted to know what was going on. Luckily, before we got closer, one of the guys walked towards us on his way out of the park. We stopped him and asked what was happening. I had a few expectations of what his answer would be. They had found drugs stashed somewhere in the bushes or someone was running away from the police and ended up hiding in the trees.

But the answer he gave was not one I had anticipated.

They had found a man, well dressed in a suit and nice shoes, hanging on a branch.. Even right now, after writing that sentence, I just froze like I did back then. I mean what do you say after hearing such news?

The society shuns the idea of suicide so much that the person doesn't even get a proper burial, or even mourning. The family feels disgraced and disappointed that they almost disown the person. But do we ever pause to think about the real issue here?

I mean can you imagine just how sad a person has to be and how lonely they must feel to think of just ending their lives? For example, that man in the park. From the way he was dressed, what huge problems could he have had? He must have had a good job to afford to be smart. But it's not always about material things, now is it?? After that day at arboretum, there was a lot of talk in the news and talk shows about suicide. I don't know if it was just a coincidence or I needed to hear it.

For someone to get to a point of really going through with suicide, they must have mulled over the idea over and over again. They must have reached out for help either directly or indirectly. What am I trying to say here? Be observant of the people around you. When you hear them say "I'm tired of life..." Or "I could just kill myself...", really ask them what is going on. At times people take their own lives because they feel that no one would miss them or that it wouldn't make a difference whether they are alive or not. But they don't say the grave is the richest place for no reason. Each and every one of us has a purpose and were created for a reason. Being there for our loved ones and making sure they know it is the first step. In this day and age, parents know close to nothing about their children. I have even heard of a situation where a mother drove her eldest daughter to suicide out of neglect and indifference. A child takes his/her life and the parents are left in shock. They didn't see it coming. Why? Because they have no relationship with their kids. Apart from "have you eaten? How are you performing in school? What time will you be getting home?", there is no personal relationship between the two parties. Which is quite sad if you really think about it.

I always say my base, my ground zero and where I go back to 'rejuvenate' is back home with family. What if one doesn't have that? What do they do? Whom do they turn to?

After remembering the incident, here's what I came up with:-

Another important thing is, in order to get help, you must be ready to take the risk and ask for it. Trust me there are always people ready and willing to offer it. They may not understand what you are going through, but just by listening they could make all the difference. If you can't find solace at home or with your friends, try your place of worship or even a guidance counselor. It doesn't have to be someone you know. For more information on that check out https://www.befrienderskenya.org... they might be of help.

Most times, this is all it takes. A problem shared is a problem half solved
I think it's high time we see the situation as it really is. At times it could be a mental illness of some sort and other times it could just be hopelessness. Depression should also be taken seriously. Do you know even children get depression? It takes a whole community to battle this. We should not stereotype people who consider suicide as their way out as being too weak to face the world or strong enough to take the difficult way out.

It all comes back to LOVE. You are loved!!!