When I started writing about the school shooting my son was in, I had to stop frequently. It was unbelievably difficult just to write about the event, even after some time had passed. It took two days for the actual writing of the article. He had called me while an active shooter was firing a pistol down the hall, so I was right there with him, even if it was on the phone.
I began writing it on Monday. Simply detailing the sequence of events on a safe, white computer page brought back the chilling fear. The utter helplessness. A great pressure tightened around my chest, and the words I was typing blurred often.
After some time I had to save my work and put it away. It was too great of a pain.
I reopened the document and worked on it some more Tuesday afternoon, then finished it that evening.
Strangely, it was less difficult to write on Tuesday.
It was still painful, however not nearly as bad as it was the day before.
Talking is healing. This is why therapists are a thing. But sometimes there are things you do not wish to share with a stranger, or even your own loved ones. Sometimes, the pain is too great and the vulnerability too raw to voice. And sometimes you just want to keep it secret from everyone until you get your emotional ducks in a row. This is why diaries are popular with teens- they need to get it out but cannot quite articulate it just yet. So they spill their feelings and dreams and hurts into their journal and it helps them better understand both the changes in their bodies and minds, as well as help them get a grasp on a world they are just figuring out they cannot control.
Writing is a free, effective, and simple remedy for both the body and the mind.
Research at the University of Auckland in New Zealand shows that expressing emotions in words helps heal emotional trauma, and remarkably speeds physical healing. The calmative effect of writing about the experience cut the healing time of injuries in half. Putting emotions on paper in words was also shown to reduce cortisol- our body's stress hormone.
It is human nature to attempt to make sense of events we experience. Whenever something unexpected happens, be it a physical trauma or emotional blow such as a sudden divorce, death of a loved one, or loss of employment, we are driven to make sense of it and understand why it happened. Human nature demands us to learn from our mistakes.
I tried to describe the shooting my son was involved in as accurately as possible. Looking at it after, I can see I probably could have added a stronger emotional element, however I am not at that point yet in my healing process. And it is most definitely a process. The fact that it was noticeably less difficult to write on the second day shows me just how profound writing is to my healing.
Write to heal. Because it is your right to heal.
❤
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The Day My Son Was in a School Shooting
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I love this part
This has really helped me In the past when I post on poetries, by making me stay strong, am so glad you shared this
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Words can strengthen us, for sure. They can also break us.
Using your words for the good of both yourself and the community is one of the most powerful things you can do :)
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Thank you for sharing, upvoted and followed...
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Thank you for reading
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I can't properly imagine the terror you and son felt! It is wonderful that your son and the other students made it through without being physically harmed. As to the scars left on the mind and in the heart, I hope that time has improved those as well.
Writing is an important therapeutic tool that should never be discounted as simple fluff. Diaries and journals have given countless people an outlet for their worries, fears, and insecurities. Since we are social animals, some more than others, it makes sense that sharing our thoughts with our "pack" would lessen our stress levels.
Best wishes to you and your family! It's a blessing that you were able to be together and have each other while you healed.
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It eases over time, and I am so glad I wrote about it this week. I knew that writing was therapeutic. However, some part of me must have wanted to keep this down as it never occurred to me to write about this particular trauma.
But, whatever dark corner of my mind that was suppressing the want to bring it out and write about it must be finished holding it hostage ;)
Thank you so much <3
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It must've been a horrible experience for you and your son! I'm really glad he is okay and I hope that with time (and writing), you are or will be better.
Yes, writing is an incredibly efficient method of healing your wounds. I didn't believe that, before joining Steemit - I had heard a lot of writers speak of how it helps them and all its therapeutic benefits, but nothing in me resonated, I guess. But since I got to this wonderful place, I've come to really believe in it and my first reaction now, when someone is angry or sad, is 'write about it'.
Wonderful article, @arbitrarykitten, as always! Thank you!
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I am so glad that Steemit has helped you in that regard. "Just write" :) Thats what I tell my boys all the time ;)
Thank you <3
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That is some great advice, right there! They're blessed with such a mom :)
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Awe <3
Thank you my friend
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Amen to that and especially how hard it is to do it. I recently chose to write a fictional story based tightly on a traumatic experience I had once. I can't imagine having gone through what you've written about though. As a parent my heart goes out to you.
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Thank you Jon.
I began writing a fictional book based upon true trauma as well.
I operate a rescue home for severely abused and burned cats and kittens. And last year my children and I, along with 6 special needs cats and kittens, were forced onto the street literally overnight. My boys are teens and therefore not allowed in shelters. We were also without a vehicle, I am lucky I had enough cash to purchase a cheap tent.
The story, which is becoming a series of books, is based around a kitten who is thrown onto the city streets.
It is taking a rather long time to write, far longer than any other work of fiction I have created, but I feel it will be a great help for awareness for the true realities of the homeless epidemic and animals rights. Too many feel the traumas the animals we have domesticated and the animals we imprison as food sources are forced to endure are worthy of only an afterthought.
I am proud of the piece you are writing. It will be difficult at times, but just put it away for later when that happens :) It will be absolutely worth it.
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I can't describe the respect I have for you and your children. That kind of sudden emergency must be hard.
When you get that book finished please let me know - it sounds like something I might like (I kinda enjoy cats).
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I have PTSD from the experience. But, it is what it is and I feel I had to go through it as there's so many misconceptions about the homeless epidemic, and a great number of the people involved.
There's over 800 registered school children who are homeless in my country of 269,000. That's just the ones old enough to go to school. And the ones the parents aren't hiding from sheer fear.
That's sick.
And when someone becomes homeless they do not speak of it due to the stigma, and if they are fortunate to get out they just want to forget it. They don't have a voice. I'm a much practiced public speaker. I am a voice.
I have published three episodes of The Strays with Steemits very own publishing house- are you familiar with Steemshelves?
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Oh yes. Have read them. I hope Digit finds his mom...
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Thank you @arbitrarykitten you've explained it very well. Now for me to start doing more of it ;) Writing can be a release of both positive and negative energy and certainly helps "lighten the load" when things get to be overwhelming.
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Yes, writing does so much for us! For instance, when I have a decision I am finding it difficult to make, I write Pros and Cons on a sheet of paper, and write the list of each. It really helps you visualize which is the smarter choice!
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"Write to heal. Because it is your right to heal."
That is powerful and meaningful.
I just read your post about the shooting. That is intense, and your son is very brave. When I read about your phone call with him, I got a bit teary-eyed.
Writing to heal does a lot to help. I used to write a lot of dark things because it was the anger I had deep within me. But that eventually evolved. The Fan-Fiction I chose to write has a lot of hidden symbolism from a psychological stand-point, regarding my shadow side, my CPTSD, my abuser. Several characters represent different aspects of either me or my mental illness and writing it into a fictional world is symbolic of the internal battles that rage on within me. It's entertaining for me to write it, but it's also been therapeutic in ways I didn't know were possible.
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I, too use elements of me in my fictional writings as well. You are right, this lets it out of you in what I believe is a less confrontational way, but healing nonetheless.
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I was once asked in an interview, "Why do you write?" And my answer was, "To get the noise out of my head." Writing, for me, is cathartic. There are times when I write poems and am shocked to find myself in tears afterward. You're correct; writing is healing. <3
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I have felt powerful emotion from realing your poems. I can absolutely tell when they were written with strong feelings <3
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Appreciated :)
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Wow.. This morning, I saw ur post and I just upvoted and passed since I was quite occupied then.. But reading it now, just made me imagine the ordeal u must have gone Through especially with ur kid involved in the scenario. I'm glad God spared d life of u, ur kid and other kids that was also there... U will definitely live to see ur children's children and also entertain us with ur lovely Post on steemit. 😊
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Thank you so much Samson :)
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I have found this to be true, well articulated. thanks
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Thank you Fred!
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Talking is healing. It's important after a traumatic event to not repress the feelings and emotions because if they are bottled up they can manifest in some awful ways. But talking is healing, getting them out in the open so the wounds do not become infected. Thanks for sharing this with us. I know it's not easy. @ironshield
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True. Bottled feelings fester and morph into dangerous things...
<3
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I found this to be true when I was in college. I can't remember what the assignment was, but I decided to write about a friend who was murdered about 5 years earlier. I had last seen him about 5 years before that. Sure, I had thought about him, but something about writing about him brought forth emotions I wasn't ready for. I was sitting in the middle of the computer lab trying not to break down in front of everyone.
Maybe someday I'll write about him. His murder had political repercussions in Ireland, where it happened.
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Oh wow. I am so sorry. That is so scary.
Yes, it sounds like it is something that you have been carrying for too long. When you are ready, please reach out to me in chat for support. I know it will be difficult, just know I am here for you.
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Thank you.
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I love this one! It is so true.
There is so much I'm not able to write and still find myself detaching from events as I write. But it is getting easier. I needed a week long break after my first attempt. The second time around only a three day break. I need to today but I'm not sure I'll have the time...
I need to get my oldest to start back up in his journal but I think it's hard for him to even put things down on paper. Still need to encourage it more often.
BTW, the emotion that did come out in the post you did about the shooting was pretty raw and felt by those of us that read it. I imagine it's not all of it but it was there.
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I found it helped my boys to write when I started the session as a fun, family thing. I would say a sentence, then start the timer, usually for 10 minutes, and we would all free write based on the sentence. Then we would share what we wrote if we chose. They never chose not to read theirs aloud. And sometimes deep and hidden stuff would come out.
That is interesting to know. When I re read it the following day, I felt there was much more emotion I had naturally omitted... those pesky survival instincts <3
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It must have been a scary experience for you and your son.exoressing your emotions through writing helps a lot.
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Truly, writing does help so much.
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I thoroughly agree on writing as a healing too. Often I write my poems when I need to clear my head of the roundabout of thoughts and sharing my own stories on Steemit has been cathartic. I'm sorry you and your son had to go through that. I remember vividly in the UK, the Dunblane shooting, being told about it and how it made me feel. I was nowhere near it and had no family involved, so can only imagine how tough that was.
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The craziest thing is the disbelief. You cannot wrap your head around it, I kept thinking this never really happens
To this day it is surreal. I do not know if it will ever feel like reality.
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That must have been such a traumatic experience - I agree with all you say - enjoyed your post
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Thank you my sweet friend.
How are you! I have missed you <3
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Always good thanks - a bit bad with the replies these days but I read all your posts
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Always good, I always like to hear that :)
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Reading or going through and facing the events is a essential part of healing, like you already experienced:
With elaboration the emotional reaction triggered by the events will eventually fade away.
Wish you a bunch of healing!
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Thank you kindly <3
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What a horrific experience you endured as a mama. I'm so relieved and grateful that your son is ok, and that you are sharing this with us to remind us all to keep going, keep expressing, keep healing. Words are a tremendous balm, and yours helped me today. <3
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I am honored to hear this <3
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