I Don't Want To Write Today But I Write Anyway (A Pretty Big Realization About Myself Through Writing This Post)

Even though I call myself a writer, sometimes I just do not feel like writing.
Like right now.
Ugh
Not in the mood.
But I do write.
Because apparently I am in a bit of a shitty mehmeh mood.
And even that needs to be shown to the world.
I may look like I am this happy laughey smiley chick online.
And even though that is true.
There are also days that I am just a bit down, a little restless, a little off.
And that’s totally okay too.

Especially this year, it’s been a bit of a wild ride in terms of emotions, experiences and changes.
And although I know I have to go through that process, it just is a bit mehmeh.

What I do notice is that I need at least one day a week totally for myself.
No appointments (not even just having coffee with a girlfriend)
No things I HAVE to do.
Just nothing!
No musts!

Time to move inwards.
Do whatever the fuck I want to do.

If I don’t have that, my balance goes a little off and I cannot find my centre once again.

And then the passion and zest for life (including writing) just meh, get put to the side.

Found on www.unsplash.com

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Even though maybe I call myself a writer but that’s not really what I am.

I am an intuitive writer.

I write from the gut of my instinct with the whisperings of my heart giving guidance as what wants to be said!

People tell me I should write a book.

But seriously my head can’t wrap its head around that

Like me? Write a book?

How the hell would that happen?

I only write what wants to be written in that moment.

I do not edit.

I do not let my words rest a day or two so I can come back to it and edit it.

No I write the damn raw shit that wants to pour out of my fucking bare soul.

And that’s that.

So if I ever were to write a book, it would be a massive ramble of thoughts that want to be expressed in exactly that moment.

And I am not sure that anyone on this planet wants to read that.

But in reality, I actually am writing a book.

A Steemit book.

My pages being the online posts written on the brilliant blockchain.

Which suits me a whole lot more!

Here’s to writing when you don’t want to write.
Here’s to me finally understanding that I am an intuitive writer.
Here’s to books written on the blockchain

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Woah.
Even though I didn't want to write, the realization of being an intuitive writer came through writing this post.

I guess what they say is true.
You just need to write.
FULL STOP.

BIG love,

Ashley

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