Short story: Lost but not forgotten (Critiques/advice welcomed)

in writing •  7 years ago  (edited)


“Nyquist’ I called as I stumbled up from the crater with my face splattered with a deep mixture of blood, sweat and dirt.

He looked at me with a dead beaten stare filled with hopelessness. His heart poured out with pleading regret as he cradled the luger in his right hand without any regard for his bleeding wounds dripping down from his forehead and leg.

Still... I couldn't find it in myself to trust him and held my rifle high with his head as the target “Why did you do it?” I demanded.

I felt disgusted by the sight of him and wondered whether I even wanted to hear the answer "You should just kill him" a voice cried in my head.

He stared back at me with a blank dim glare that made it seem as though he wanted me to shoot. For a short moment both of us went silent until finally, he fell to one knee and pressed his hand around his right thigh in an attempt to slow the bleeding.

When his eyes met with mine I could see he was emphatically ridden with acceptance “Give it up Henry, it’s over, there all dead, what more do you expect? I did what I had to, to save my family”

I fire a shot and just missing his head and reclocked the rifle to fire another. He stood up unhindered with his arms outstretched and wiped the dirt from his face "I'll make it easier for you" he said.

His leg was badly injured as blood seeped through his pants as he grimaced in pain to stand.

I stood motionless with the gun steadily directed at his chest.

“Come on” Nyquist shouted “I want to die, kill me. Your friends are dead, and your family hates you because they think you did it, aren’t you the least bit unhappy? Don’t you want revenge?”

My finger shook madly over the trigger as I fantasized over the feeling of watching him die...but my instincts slowly kick in, lowered the gun and placing it onto the muddy ground “I don’t want to kill you, I want to help you” I said

He looked down and then back up at me perplexed “I'm sorry Henry, I really am. You didn't deserve this”.

With that, he raised the lugar up along his temple“No wait” I cried, but it was too late, Nyquist fired the gun and fell face first into the muddy ground.

I dragged myself in a panic towards him, but each step I took went deeper into the ground as the rain poured down harder and harder. As I made my way slowly towards his lifeless body tears filled my eyes and I collapsed onto my knees.

Sadness struck my heart emphatically “Why? Why did you choose me? What did I do to deserve this? I screamed out in rage.

I picked up the pistol from his right hand stared at it for a moment and then placed the barrel inside my mouth. Closing my eyes a sense of calmness started to settle in my heart as my suffering started to ease.

I was free from all constrictions and euphoria began coursing through my blood. Before I could find it in myself to let go a rush of pain and the numbing dizziness struck me and all the energy suddenly drained.

Darkness began to lapse as my adrenaline faded and depression started to set in. The gun slipped out of my mouth "I can't do it"

I stared over at my right shoulder and noticed that I was bleeding a lot of blood. My eyes started to grow heavy and before I drifted off a shady figure appeared in the distance. He was running towards me in great haste with a bag slung over his on his side with a red cross stitched on the side and it was in these passing moments I knew this day was not going to be my last.

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