Woah! Two in one day??

Yeah, I'm a complex guy. Whaddya know?

This one I wrote while sitting across from a girl that I'm going on a date(?) with on Friday. We were in Seminar (a required weekly meeting for music majors) and I could tell she was like looking at me (cuz duh! I'm hot!) but then my doubt took over so instead of trying to initiate conversation or whatever, I wrote a poem instead.

_{Painting by Barbara Pickering}

Crush + Anxiety

i'm not even sure i'm into you.
what, with your knees scabbed at altars,
set before gods i've refuted in my intellectual pursuits,
(wrongly or otherwise),
like being too smart to be a Christian,
being too educated to have faith? in the same respect,
i'm too savvy to read novels filled with fricking adverbs,
(get it together, Rowling.)

i'm not very sure i'm into you.
i need nurturing, but you're
more ghost than person, more
flesh than soul. and you're pretty lacking there
too.
Your skeleton would remind me we're human, and
i'd withdraw in horror. you'd play
pagan melodies on my ribcage, spread the
stored calories to make music, but i'm
addicted to the silence between us.
addicted to the nothing between us.

i'm not sure i'm into you.
i'm terrified that you'd love me, or at least
like me too much to let me stick around,
i'm tracing hearts around your selfie, and i'm
irrevocably positive that i have
no clue what you are to me.
my memory is vague.
your looks are okay, we'd
fit together okay until that next
day.
where i can't depend on your words,
your warmth,
and i tell you you're better off without me.

kiss me.
let's find out.
talk to me.
i'm lonely.
leave me alone.
i'll never look at another
until i do, anyways.

~

Thanks for reading as always, please let me know if you like these and want them to continue! (I'll write regardless :P )

Also!

If you're a visual artist and you'd like to collaborate with me, either on one of these or maybe supply art for one of my short stories, I'd be very open to it! I'd rather have your art than something I pulled off the internet or sketched hastily.

@art-huntress, @tninh, @secora, @shinyforest, I'm looking at you guys :P