Karen felt the eyes that looked at her even when she closed her own, even when she forgot everything else. They watched her at every moment, followed her every movement. Now eyes were the first thing she noticed. She saw them everywhere and they always looked at her, even when they didn’t.
The court-assigned psychiatrist turned the pages, his eyes fixed on Karen, giving her a headache while he read the schedule for the next week.
“I have an hour open at 6 pm on Mondays”, he said without a sound, without moving his lips, while looking at her on the reflection of his watch.
“Oh, it’s right now”, he continued, “but we could actually start next week, I -” he nervously stuttered “have something to do today”.
Karen stood there as if waiting.
“Next Monday. Now, let us leave”, he looked at her toward the door and walked away, gesturing for her to leave. People always had this tendency to look at her through proxy-objects. Sometimes the door, their food, or even other people.
But it was really impolite. Why did they do this? Did she have a bad appearance? They made her really uncomfortable, self-conscious. ”Is it my clothes?”, she asked herself, thinking about her black-and-white striped dress.
“Is anything bothering you, Ms. Karen?”, the man finally asked, tired of waiting and gesturing.
She trembled for a second, shocked that he had noticed. But he had asked. She should tell him. Maybe he would solve her doubt. She finally mustered some bravery and spoke.
“Why - why are you looking at me?”, she asked.
“We are talking. It’s common courtesy”, he professorially explained.
“No, no, but - why - always - you’re always looking at me!”, she finally screamed, flustered by the interaction.
He stood still, looking at her. He just stood there, expressionless, freaking her out. She was becoming very scared. Finally, he approached, eyes wide open. Her father had passed years ago, but while he was alive, he always reminded her to carry a gun, and in an occasion such as this, she very much felt like she needed it.
She retreated, searched her purse, and as the psychiatrist advanced in a zombie-like mode, she pulled out a revolver and shot at him.She shot four times and watched him fall to his knee, pressing his abdomen, then to the ground. She ran to the door.
There was a crowd waiting outside, together with five men wearing white and a woman with a clipboard. Why did they always have clipboards? They looked at her, serious and expressionless, and walked toward her. They looked like zombies. The only thing missing was them raising their arms forward and screaming eerily. Then, they raised their arms.
“Crap”, Karen thought, raised her gun and shot a few times, but these ones didn’t budge when the bullets hit them. They just approached them from all sides and in a panic, she jumped back toward the closed door and fell on the floor sitting. She covered her face and screamed. She was going to die for certain. One of them pulled something out, needle? When she noticed, she tried to avoid it, but she was grabbed and the needle punctured her arm.
The eyes looked at Karen in her dream. They were not pairs of eyes, only eyes, floating without heads: round spheres with red nerves coming from behind, always looking at her, no matter where they flew, no matter where the pupils pointed at. They watched her. She felt consumed, as if they were eating her by watching her.
She woke up screaming, tied to a bed. She tried to force herself out, but could not. She looked left, feeling watched, but no one was there. She knew, though, that there were eyes somewhere, looking at her. She screamed more, fighting the belts that kept her down. She was going to be eaten.
Suddenly, the door opened. The strongest scream up to now tore her throat and came as a terrible wail, her eyes opening and almost seemingly bulging out. The psychiatrist was there, emotionlessly looking at her.
“Dianne, Ms. Duarte will be having 500 milligrams of Chlorpromazine right now. Then 50 three times a day.”
Karen walked toward the tree in the garden. She could have sworn that the big root next to the door had eyes the day before. Strange.
All pictures above were taken from Pixabay, a royalty-free image source.
I started this story while waiting in a café for a friend. I stopped when we met, but then I had some time in the night to finish it, since I thought that the idea had some potential. I hope you liked the result. If you did, please leave me an upvote and most importantly, a comment telling me what you thought.
Trust me, I love the story cos it describe the life of psychiatric patient and those whose minds and souls are troubled, I feel sorry for them a lot because it's just one unforgettable single experience that always lead them to it or cumulative of bad experiences, just like in the story :loosing a father.
I hope there community is doing a lot to help this people.
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Yeah, truly, something regrettable is the human being's vulnerability to this kind of negative mind-altering conditions. The world is such a beautiful place and there's so much to enjoy that being unable to after being alive is something I'll always lament.
Well, I can't complain against the way things are. It's chance, an accident, perhaps design. We have to make do with what we get and work to improve the conditions we get.
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Another great story Sharon! Keep it up!
The end really got me here, while is obvious Karen is being medicated because her psychological issues are really really bad, there are some people out there that self-medicate to help suppress their feelings too without having these sorts of symptoms and i find that really scary.
Thats one of the reasons i mostly stay away from such medicines even when i know i suffer from some sort of depression, i'm more scared about not being able to be in 100% control of my mental state and using these sorts of medicines takes control away from you... This fear is also the main reason i stay away from alcoholic beverages, i can't compute the feeling of not being able to control myself and doing things and not remembering them... pretty scary if you ask me.
I'd rather feel real sadness or depression that a medicine induced happiness or state of well being.
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This actually touches an endlessly debated philosophical subject. Who are you and how do mind-altering effects restrict your freedom/identity? Are you your memories? Do you stop being you when you have Alzheimer then? Are you your behavior? Are you someone different if you're in a manic or depressive state then? Are you your feeling of identity? Are you someone different every day if you have a personality disorder? etc. There's a lot more questions like that lol. It's a bit of an interesting topic to think about.
And I'm glad you liked my story. <3
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Amazing writing! but you also compliment it really well with your selection of pictures for the story!
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Thank you :) It took me some time to choose the proper pictures. I'm happy that my choices were good.
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You got a 0.84% upvote from @postpromoter courtesy of @cryptosharon!
Want to promote your posts too? Check out the Steem Bot Tracker website for more info. If you would like to support the development of @postpromoter and the bot tracker please vote for @yabapmatt for witness!
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Really amazing, the mind is something bautiful and complicated. You catching very well the obsesion of this type of person with who has disorders like this. I have to admit that I'm really afraid of the schizophrenia, Its have to be terrible being trapped inside of yourself.
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I think this fits with your story:
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Really I'm feeling confused now , because I would've just watched the people lingering in the coffee cabin or I would just using my smartphone but you've used your free time in optimized way . Moreover your writing carried the pain and the emotions psychiatric patients . It was such a agony for her . I like the way you imagine and put them into your writings . Thanks for sharing :)
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Ha! I'm usually like that, but now that I started writing I take it as a routine that I have to follow, so if I have free time and need to write something, I just pull out a notebook (I always carry a notebook and a sketchpad). I also don't have a smartphone. Oh, what a strike to my productivity it would be to have one.
And thank you! You flatter me. I was a bit unsure but now I'm happy that I published this. Thank you for telling me your thoughts. I really appreciate it. :)
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For some, they might find this weird and crazy but some people with this kind of condition does exist. Not necessarily just with the eyes but other things as well. Thanks for sharing this Sharon! Another great write. ^^ xx
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Yeah, the mind is very strange :O The gigantig variety of things we can imagine is the limit to these mental diseases. It's worrying when we don't know if what we're seeing, feeling or in any way perceiving is a consequence of our imagination or a neurological condition and not really ourselves.
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I really love the way you write. It's quirky, it's strange but it's wonderful.
What if that was the reality and the meds were suppressing it.
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Aww shucks, thank you! :) It's fun to think of my writing that way.
Well, it would make for another cool story. :D And I think that's one of my fears. What are some real things in my perception that people want to suppress with their imposed "common sense"?
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Hahaha I had a similar thought, about it being the reality. Those zombies. They are monsters that take the human form and .... Yeah I don't know what.
Fascinating read.
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