Excerpt from We fell like rain

I can feel it bubbling up inside of me like a demon just waiting to rise from it's host's corrupted body. My breath came in short gasps, breathing in the overwhelming scent of hot dogs mixed with gasoline that seemed to hang from every corner of this restaurant.

Every time I thought about what he did I once again was driven to anger and nothing I did or said could stop it. The very thought of being together with him made my stomach churn in most unpleasant ways.

It was all I could do now not to punch him in the face as he drew nearer to me his endless blue eyes confessing the love that everyone but me knew was false. He had on that confused angel face, like he had no idea why the anger brewed inside of my soul like it did. I knew he probably spent the last four hours practicing his speech that he hoped would clear his name like it had the last time.

I wouldn't make it that easy, I have no reason to believe him and I won't be told that this relationship is just the victim of apparently worldwide jealousy. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I screamed before he had a chance to speak because angry as I was, I knew that if he opened that mouth of his, I would believe whatever lies crawled out.

He put on the stupid act (most likely to find out what I knew first so he could disarm my case in one sentence), "What are you talking about babe?"

I snorted refusing to let him get away with this one "Like you don't know. In fact, you're the one that's been spreading it all around to your little friends at school. Right?" I paused half expecting him to give up and cop to the lies he's been spreading but I can't say I was surprised when he didn't "For once in your life, be honest with me! Am I really asking for too damn much? All I want is the truth and all that seems to come out of your mouth is lies!"

He didn't even try to defend himself, he just stood there in shock. I could feel my anger turning into resignation and shame "You know what? I'm wasting my time. We're done."

I turned to go but he grabbed my arm, "Babe wait just listen I can explain this." He pleaded his voice begging me to listen.

I yanked my wrist out of his grip, the blue fabric of my shirt pulling slightly, "Listen to what? There's nothing to be explained! You're just like the rest of them!" every second that I stood there the urge to hit him increased "Did you think I was going to be easy? That I would just roll over and take it all in the name of love? I think not. I will not be your little show animal nor will I allow myself to be easily tamed! I'm through jumping at your every command or believing every story you make up!" I pointed my finger at his chest, "Your show boat ends here Your Highness. Because I am never going to be the bad girl that you want and if your goal was to turn me into one well give up on it. I will never allow myself to be controlled by you or anybody else who just so happens to come by! You want to break up with me? Fine go ahead because I'm done listening to how you 'want this to work' but yet you seem to do everything in your power to make us fail!" I paused to catch my breath, "Every day is a freaking struggle because I don't know what crap you're going to spread next!" I felt the tears coming on but I refused to allow him to see how much he could hurt me "I told you everything about me! All of my secrets and every regret and this is how your repay me for trusting you? By taking that trust and destroying it in every way you see fit!" I grabbed the glass off the table next to us and smashed it to the ground "Now this is what your trust means to me!" I heard my voice crack as I looked up and said quietly "And that is what is left of the girl who once loved you."

If I didn't know any better I would have said that I hurt his feelings but I know that could never be possible. How can you hurt someone who has no heart?

"What's wrong?" I said mocking pity "You should be happy, isn't this what you wanted? A bad girl? Well congratulations! You made me, you're the reason I am like this. You should be proud of yourself! Now you don't have to worry about making me happy. I just hope you're happy dear." I turned and left. This time, he didn't stop me and I didn't look back.

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