The Unrealistic Expectations

We all hold certain expectations of those we are in relationships with, though we might not be aware of how those expectations are contributing to issues in the relationship.

The unrealistic expectations that we set of others can easily leave us feeling disappointed and miserable.

If we assume that those around us are always going to be there for us, or that they are always going to understand, that might not turn out to be the case. And what are we to do when we are met with failed expectations? Aside from enduring the pain and suffering, we could find that it might even lead to the end of a relationship altogether.

Having expectations of others can fuel a divide and set us up for disappointment because we can't control other people or they how they are going to act in every circumstance. Believe it or not, even those closest to you might slip-up on occasion and let you down whether you like it or not.

Friends might not respond just the way you would like them to, or be as understanding as you think they should be, or remember every special occasion that you think they should. Loved ones might not offer the expected response when you need or want it, and then you'll be looking to either place the blame on them or on yourself; why not on those unrealistic expectations?

Is our disappointment a reflection of their fault? Or is it the fault of our expectations?

We all have expectations to some degree or another; at the very least you would hope that one would expect those around them not to violate their property rights and injure them for example. That's what many might consider a realistic expectation to have. But even this expectation can be violated by those who we love dearly, because they've made a mistake. Or several.

Setting unrealistic expectations of others is where we can get set up for failure because it prompts us to come to false conclusions, in many circumstances we deem that the failure is a fault of our own. Relationships are difficult, especially if we are going to maintain them over a long period of time, it requires thoughtfulness, effort, humility, forgiveness, and compromise. And not everyone is going to pour the same amount of energy into their relationships. You might be the kind of person who wants to purpose to have deep and meaningful relationships with others but you cannot expect the same from others in return.

And your own idea of what a "deep and meaningful relationship" looks like might not be the same to another; there go our expectations again.

Getting rid of expectations altogether is unrealistic. Yet, it is possible to identify where we hold certain expectations of others in our lives, and in acknowledging them we can assess whether we should let go of them or not.

One common expectation that many people hold in their relationships with loved ones is often that they expect the other person to keep them happy at all times, and this is a lot of pressure to put on another person. When we learn how to make ourselves happy, then we don't need to rely on other people to fill that void for us; not that we could rely on them to anyways.

Our personal relationships with others have shown to be one of the most important factors when it comes to overall life happiness. Adjusting our expectations for the better could greatly improve those relationships and our general happiness in life. The biggest issue with our realistic or unrealistic expectations is often that they are unsaid, when they aren't effectively communicated then it's impossible for someone else to meet them; communication is key.

Though we might not be able to identify all of the expectations that we have for others, it's understandable how making any progress in this area will likely contribute to less strain in the relationship in the long-run, and possibly more happiness in life overall.

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