Visions, Demons, And Silence

in writing •  7 years ago  (edited)

Literature is an art I believe in People sharing Visions, Ideas, Utopia's of their literal insuccessions. We go trough their work as if it was our own Life, because we can share Art as something very familiar to us. Demon's are speaking trough words, meanings, situations and Life require not powering up ourselves to always see to only one true meaning which has no meaning.

If I write anything I can learn or find in my Life I will be still speaking very familiar to anyone who can listen, but what make's me literally kill myself is strong inner feeling of disappointment to give any energy to anything. I then only seek something to faster forget about this feeling but as I grow it takes much more unless I became desiring not to desire and after this happens I suddenly see myself as an Animation going on and working properly in any situation. Then I see myself becoming a drawer of animations I interpret.

And this meaning is very often to me, I can see it almost in anything happens to me cause as I destruct more and more I Structure Myself in understanding which is higher than biological. All this words just fall of from my mind trying to stop me from realization of Who I really am. But what caused this Demon to appear in my head and how is he appearing everytime he can hurt me? There must be way I am letting him in. And this could be my reflex of observing my own behavior which I learned from other people trough my life. I really feel satisfaction from writing and the faster I become the more deeper meaning I can generate. It is like becoming a machine but with only problem that every thought is leading to other and I'd better be very careful which I am thinking again so you see this once again appearing in my behavior, it is about thinking of how will I behave after.

And I don't know. I don't, I always scream when the situation comes to the break and I realize that nobody knows. And never can find out. That's what we learn forever but can never learn it because once something is ununderstoodable, the opposite must be understood at any time. And yes basically what makes me asking is a hope that something genial, something fascinating will come out of that question. I just simply love it and wanna just sit here and write so forever.

But what about TIME? Who is time if not Humans, Time can't find time for something he will never accept. Accept it and then Animate it, show it, share it, be it, then accept it, remake it. How long this can go? Isn't this what we are seeking for? For something that will last forever? Yes it's an evolution of evolution. Time of time. Humans of humans.

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But artist can never come back to his art.