Colors of Relation

-Artist unknown, photo supplied by Google images.

First, relationship does not mean completed or finished; it does not mean done and over with. Relationship means to be connected. Having a relationship, or calling it a relationship, does not give it end; it does not mean that you are just carrying on mindlessly. When I say I have a “relationship” with someone, it means a great deal to me. It means I can relate, I can connect, and I have something that is shared between me and that person and only between us.

Everyone has their own color, no color is ever the same and a relationship between two people, the combining and intermingling of those colors creates its own special color. They mix together in a way that is specific to and only understood by those two colors. They meet and great, they explore and discover, they mix and blend much like when you poor two paints together; swirling around and around, leaving streaks of themselves in each other, creating new shades with every twist, creating new colors at every turn.

Only you and I can make the colors we have or will. Only your color can blend and mix itself with mine in the way that it does. Being able to have a relationship is beautiful; it is more than just relating to me. You can relate with anyone if you find the right topic. I can have relations with anyone, but a relationship takes that rare, special type of intimacy. To allow one color to mix with mine, to change mine, to explore mine... that takes more than just relating, or even connecting. For a deep relationship it takes many things: desire, thirst, hunger, anger, love, want, need, compassion, trust, loyalty... it takes not just one or two or three or fifty but everything because when our colors intertwine with each other, one cannot hide nor can they set boundaries. My color is me and when yours starts to swim about with the freeness of our connection, of our intimacy, it will find all of me.

I do agree that it is/should be a never-resting constant exertion. A relationship never stops building as long as it is alive, as long as you mend to it. Nor do the individuals in the relationship stop growing and changing. It does take constant exploration of one another and who they are. However, be that the case, it does not mean that I do not know who you are; it merely means that I do not know all of you. But to say that you do not know me would be a flat lie and I, personally, find it outright insulting to you. You know me in a way that no one does, even if you do not know all of me. Saying that you know someone should not come with the understanding that “that” is who they are and you know “them” entirely but instead knowing someone should mean that you have had the joy and honor of understanding them even in the smallest amount. It should come with the idea of knowing them, knowing that you will never know the fullness of who they are, but that you will never give up trying to find out; you will never give up the quest to understand and know and feel their soul.

Forgetting relationships, I think, would be in disrespect for the uniqueness and wholeness that one individual has with another. I don’t want to make us inseparable. I want us to be individuals that choose to be inseparable, that choose to fight, and that choose to be as they are together because they want to be together. It need not be a silent agreement; I actually hope that it is not. I want to tell you as much as I can because you are the ears that listen to my heart. The words I use to communicate are rhythms and riddles that sometimes I do not understand, but they are the thoughts banging against the doors in my head, begging to be let out. When they are confused or cramped, when I have no room left in my head and I need someone, you are my ears and I am thankful that you listen. For every word that I speak, for every sound that I make, I am begging, reaching out, to be able to tell someone who I am, what I think; I am begging to be told a story from another, begging to be the ears that heard what others could not or did not. The world is too quiet sometimes and my head is so loud and so cluttered, it melts into white noise, static; it is like the millions of little black and white ants that covered your old box TV and the sound is all the same. I cannot make it stop, I cannot make it calm, but when you listen, it’s like I found channel 22, cartoon network. The mess is still there but it’s organized and full of humor, full of joy, full of love. You make it feel like Saturday morning cartoons with a blanket and a bowl of cereal. When you talk to me it’s like I found channel 35, Discovery Channel, channel 53, SyFy, or channel 33, TNT – They know drama and know how to capture your attention. You are the antenna to my cable TV. You are my wifi, you are my dice, you are my books... you are everything I love, you are everything that pisses me off.

I do not need you to live; I do not need you to survive. If you left me tomorrow, the world would not end nor would life lose all meaning. I would not be alone nor would I have no purpose. But, I do want you, I do crave you. I am gifted with the meaning you do put in my life and blessed with joy from you that fills my heart. If you were gone, my heart would be broken and my chest would cave in. I would hurt from the deepest parts of me because your paint has flooded into mine and every part that you have touched, however so deep, would feel the crushing knowledge that someone that meant so much, someone whose paint blended so well, someone who made sense of the static in my brain, someone that had the power to form a relationship and give it meaning... the knowledge that that connection, that relation, that bond and intimacy was not as strong or broken would be dire.

A relationship is something of grandiosity and filled with more beauty than the world could conceive of. It is hurt, it is anger, it is love, it is lust, it is compassion... it is everything in a color that belongs only to you and I.

-JWinblood

Just a writing sample I felt like sharing. Thanks everyone.

Happy Steeming