“Gorilla” – Being Black in South Korea

In 2017, after Trump's election, I, along with my then-girlfriend, decided to venture out East. The town we lived in was Ilsan, located in Gyeonggi-do, 25km north of Seoul. I worked at an English school not too far from the DMZ (North Korean border) and could see North Korea from our office building – not a whole to see really. It was great! I love South Korea and every bit of me wants to go back. The food, the culture, the language, the views, the safety, and…the people. Yea…the people…didn’t I mention I’m black. The type of black that gets called Nigerian, Kenyan, and anything relating to Africa. I mean, I was born in Liberia, so no offense taken…but I’m the type of black where, until I speak, in Korea, I’m either a student or an immigrant and not really expected to be a teacher. I accepted that early on. Despite it all, there was still so much that amazed me about this place, and I felt like highlighting some of my encounters...the good and the bad.

“You remind me of Michael Jordan”

Probably one of the best compliments I received while in Korea. I’m still not sure how to take it, the guys at the basketball seemed amazed that I could jump high, run fast, and play game after game with no problem. I’m from the Chicagoland area. I would never rank myself as one of the top guys on the court, but I’ll play. So, going to a country where basketball isn’t as popular, it was easy to stand out. The language barrier didn’t last too long as guys started picking up on my lingo and I began to pick up on there’s too. Ilsan isn’t Seoul, so I never expected anyone to meet me halfway when it came to language. I’m on their turf I should try to engage in their language. Hangul is difficult; therefore, I didn’t always succeed. Luckily many were patient.

“Can we be friends?”

Ever since I was little, I’ve never had any difficulties making friends of different cultures. It’s the nature of being a seasoned foreigner, you must always adapt. One of my favorite stories to tell is of the time I was sitting on the bus heading home from work. I worked the afternoon-evening shift. It was a little different for me, but I didn’t mind. You can usually find me sitting in the back of the bus with my headphones on and reading. At night I’ll be listening to music and trying to map out the path home in my head (I do this everywhere I go). One night, I noticed a girl who kept looking towards the back of the bus. I paid no mind. My rule of thumb is “leave these girls alone”, especially at night, so I just sat there fixed to my music.

“I had to give her credit, that was bold! Real bold”

Then, out of the blue, she sat next to me. “Hi”, she said. Her eyes were wide open, familiar in a way, the way how a child looks at something new. I get it, I’m a bit of novelty up here, but I didn’t expect what was next. “I see you on the bus and I want to say hi, can we be friends?”. Yo…hold up! What? I had to give her credit, that was bold! Real bold. I answered yes and we got to talking. She introduced herself and something dawned on me. This was probably one of the most genuine human encounters I had ever felt. She was in glee. Eyes twinkling, speaking softly, asking questions candidly, all in a matter of about 10 minutes. I honestly didn’t expect to see her again, but she asked for my number, and…ya…probably no the BEST idea, but I gave it to her. I later explained it to my girlfriend, it was innocent. I didn’t expect to see her again…but…the girl was reluctant. Something I learned after a few encounters were her growing interest…looking back, I can’t deny I thought she was a pretty girl and cool to be around, but I had a girlfriend and, even if I hadn’t, I knew I was leaving Korea at some point. So, a wall had to be put up. Nonetheless, she was always willing to hang out and teach me Hangul, during our dog walks around the park. She was a great person all around.

He took my hand and said, “Gorilla”

Once upon a Busan summer, I took a trip with some friends to the southern part of Korea. If you saw Black Panther, that was the city in South Korea with the car scenes. Busan is great! A little different from Seoul in the sense that you can get lost, easily. Not that I got lost or anything, but there are fewer English signs and the transportation wasn’t the easiest to navigate early on. While walking around with my girlfriend, we saw a group of children who kept staring at something on my face…I think it was a blotch of dark paint I forgot to scrub off. The best thing about children is how they’re able to remind you of glaring differences between you and them but in the most innocent of ways. You can’t blame them; the world is still so big, and things change quickly. One boy, in particular, couldn’t resist my hands. I’m 5’8, 6 feet around here, and my hands don’t match my height – I have big palms. So, I understood his curiosity, but then he took my hands and said, “Gorilla!”

I wasn’t sure how to respond, so I laughed! My girl was pissed. I could see it in her eyes as she stared down the adult accompanying them. Here’s the thing, was it ignorant, yes, was it rude, no? Was it a teachable moment? Yes. I replied back, “No, black skin.”. He looked at me, still shocked, and just smiled as if I was going to offer him candy or something. You really can’t be upset at a child. I wasn’t about to make a spectacle out of myself around some people who have never encountered a black person. I didn’t know what their preconceived notion of black people was, and I wasn’t about to fuel any negative ideas. That’s just me though. My girl on the other hand…

“She’s the type of black woman…”

I’m a black male. Most of the world tends to view black men as aggressive and boisterous. Yet, they also envy our confidence, swagger, and athleticism. That’s the little bit of cultural privilege I get to carry around with me. As for black women, I’ve heard nasty things here and there everywhere I’ve gone. Maybe those same things would be said about me to others different from me. I’m not sure, but what I am sure about is that I don’t have the time for it.
We had just gotten a new colleague at work. One colleague, a white guy, was leaving and so we were in a hurry to get someone new. In walked in what made me smile! We had hired a black woman! Even better, she was African. If you’ve taught in Korea, you might understand how uncommon this is. We only had three foreign teachers and the other was white, so to have two black foreign English teachers is not too common. Anyway, she was awesome! We often talked(argued) about social things surrounding the black community all over the world. We still keep in touch from time to time. I had a lot of respect for her…but some didn’t. Our supervisor in particular would talk down to her as if she was a child. That gripped me the wrong way. One afternoon he and I went out for smoothies and I calmly addressed him about it. That’s when he said, “she’s the type of black woman…”, I’ll be honest, I forgot what he said verbatim after that. Those first few words really challenged my patience.

Apparently, our school had “experience” with black-female teachers before and the “attitude” surrounding their behavior. I wasn’t there, I can’t speak on who was teaching but I can speak on the staff and their frequent abuse of power and verbal abuse. We had two Korean women quit in the span if a week or two…I’ll let you guys be judge.

Unexpected Kindness
Then, there’s the good. Aside from an awkward encounter I had with a guy at the basketball court, where he kept repeating, he wasn’t racist, while yelling at my dog, things were very, very positive all throughout. Did I mention how safe Korea is. Safe is an understatement. I’m sure Seoul sees it’s fair share of problems, but I rarely saw police engage with anything beyond drunkards. I once left(forgot) my wallet at the basketball court and some guys were walking towards my apartment to give it to me.

Remember how I love to tune out on the bus? Well, one day I fell asleep on the bus while reading. I woke up a bit startled, I was three stops past my stop and had to hurry and get off to run to work (I frequently did that). In that frenzy, I had dropped my phone on the bus. I was upset at myself for that, but I tried to stay positive. It was common for our boss to treat us to lunch, so I tried to stay optimistic. I explained the ordeal with my supervisor, and he said that its not likely I’ll be getting it back, even if I call the bus station. I asked if he could call, he said he was busy. I let it be, thinking there’s no way I’m getting it back.

“Get in the car…”
I went down to the Kimbap restaurant I always had dinner at to grab some food. I had enough money in my bag for a rice burger. The owners saw how visibly distraught I looked and asked what was wrong. In my broken Konglish (Korean/English) I tried to explain. The woman looked at me a bit confused and just left…ok then…I thought. She came back and was saying all sorts of sorry and be strong. Then I heard a car honk – HONK, HONK! In the car was her husband and he was motioning me to come outside. His wife was pushing me out while an observer was telling me to get in the car. To my amazement, they had called the bus station and explained everything. He took me 30 minutes away to retrieve my phone, argued the manager to check the bus, and there it was! I will forever be grateful for their generosity!