Prologue
My heart was racing to the point of bringing on a massive attack. Sky had a knee bent up against the passenger side door, biting nervously at her thumbnail. I felt the cocaine begin draining as the bitterness forced me to gag while it slithered down my throat. My eyes frantically shifted from the road to the rearview mirror, then back again and my body fell into momentum, pressing firmly against the seat while my foot applied more pressure on the gas pedal. My 67’ Chevelle glided down the highway at 80mph, making the adrenaline in my blood ignite as I starved for more horsepower. Dropping the glove compartment door, Sky pulled out a joint and began smoking to calm the sizzling nerves that dilated her aura. She’d occasionally glance over at the speedometer, marring the want for me to slow down, but never expressed the words.
I found myself gently running my fingertips across the top of a sawed-off shotgun that I had wedged between the seat and center console.
The occasional itch of my freshly finished ink on my left arm irritated my senses, slowly pulling me from my high. The more I fell into the drug’s effect, the tighter my grip became on the steering wheel. I rested back against the seat, replaying last night over and over again in my mind. Losing my sense of awareness as the lines on the road flashed by triggered optical illusions within my cornea. Suddenly, blue lights began to strobe in my rearview. My eyes switched over to the left mirror watching a police car gain on us.
“Shit!” I groaned.
“Malice, please pull over,” Sky asked while flicking the remains of her joint out the window.
I eased down into first gear, pulling the car over to the side of the interstate. My nerves were set on edge as I watched the officer exit his car, walking up to my side. My hand slid down, clutching the shotgun’s handle while the other bared my license and registration. The night atmosphere cloaked the gun’s existence and that of the Damascus dagger Sky gripped beneath her thigh. Rolling down the window, I gave an uncharacterized grin.
“Good evening, officer…”
Chapter One
: Dare to break the silence
“Have you ever thought about how you’d change your life? And not just within an innocent daydream, but actually going into depth on what it was that you weren’t so fond of; contemplating on a decision to make that will take you down a different path of travel? Life as we know it is made of choices; it is what you make of it. Be wild and free, or reserved and cautious. What if in that moment you perhaps turned the tables, and that conscience reconciliation took you far beyond anything you’ve ever imagined?”
I relentlessly paced back and forth while puffing on a cigarette that suffocated my airway. I went from frantically biting my nails, to running a hand aggressively through my hair, dragging it down my face that was overdue for a grooming session. Sky had barely spoken to me since I’ve refused to answer the five W’s for her. I didn’t want to blow everything months back by telling her what really happened that night at the train station. I still suffered from nightmares because of that shit, leaving my anxiety in shambles for a fucking Xanax just to alleviate my stress. My shirt dampened from continuous sweat excretion, low eyes from lack of sleep and an anxious heart chimed in my chest with each inhale. It had been almost seventeen hours since my body was pressed firmly against Sky’s, while her nails staked into my skin, daring to never let go. Now, I feared she’d only want to be miles from reach after I told her the truth--the whole truth. The heroine that rescued my heart by finally detaching it from Nicki’s vice clutch was labeled as my savior, and I was damned if I would ever let her leave willingly.
My eyes drew in the sight of Sky leaned up against the wall with her arms folded, eyes veering off somewhere into nothingness. I pinched the end of my finished cigarette, feeling its heat burn my fingertips--vigorously sprinkling fragments of ashy tobacco onto the floor.
Sky’s eyes flickered towards mine so suddenly that I could feel it. I swallowed hard, watching her tongue wet her lips, holding a gaze so ice cold and innovated with uncertainty--I wasn't ready for it. Drawing in a deep breath, I looked back, trembling to speak.
“Sky...” I sighed. “There’s something I need to explain to you, and I need you to be as accepting as you possibly can be.”
Her interest was struck with an arched brow that overlooked the pulsing jaw muscles that ticked beneath her skin. My first thought by her reaction was that her mindset was driven to infidelity. Or that I was just another person she risked letting in and it was all about to blow up in her face. Maybe it would have been a better alternative, rather than explaining to her that she was sleeping with a murderer.
“Go on…” Her words assailed the phantom air.
“It has to do with something that happened back home.”
“Let me guess, you’re secretly married?”
“No, it has nothing to do with hidden marital issues.” I cracked a nervous smile.
Sky quickly approached me, running her hands up my chest while pressing her lips lightly against my neck. “Malice, you can tell me anything. I’ve never once passed judgment. I don’t think I will start now.”
I puffed out a ragged breath, pressing a loving kiss to her forehead--shaking inside. We sat for nearly two hours while I explained--in gruesome detail--what exactly happened that night and the color didn’t return to her ghostly complexion for the longest. Sky struggled to carry a calm expression while horror playfully tugged at the corners of her mouth. Imagining just how freaked out she was--feeling like she was housing a psychopath made me sick to my stomach. How Hollywood of her to sleep with the enemy--the seemingly simple man who was a cold-blooded killer. Jesus.
Sitting in a stunned silence, shaking her head with glazed eyes, Sky finally spoke. “Wow... that was definitely a lot to take in. I need to fucking smoke--or something!”
She quickly stood up from the table in search of some cannabis. I concurred with the idea, zoning out while Sky rolled a blunt. Taking in a huge inhale, smoke soon fogged my vision; agitating my eyes.
“I know you must think I’m fucking crazy. In my defense, I went through a hard ass time and I lost myself. The memories constantly haunt me, whether I am asleep or drifting off into a daydream. Sky, I’m fucking scared to be completely honest. I know it is inexcusable--what I've done--but I had to make it all stop.”
“You are fucking crazy,” She laughed. “It's all just so insane--so unreal. I am just as scared as you are, yet I’m not going to just up and leave you. I just need to know what it is we are supposed to do exactly?”
“Well, for starters… I need to shower.” I narrowed my gaze with clenched teeth.
The steam rose into a thick cloud, making breathing harder than it already was as hot water streamed down my back. The scolding liquid made it impossible to see clearly as it pelted against my face, piercing my eyes. Sky pressed her forehead to mine, gasping for air as I rammed her against the wall. Right or wrong--a chest of stone--Sky was all in. A lowered jaw, breathless and taken, Sky enjoyed seeing me drive in and out.
Desired to feel me deeper, she reached above her head, grabbing hold of the shower arm. While I secured her hips, pushing in further, the tile cracked around the flange, nearly separating from the wall. I dazed, watching my length disappear, letting the sensation nestle into my lower abdomen layer by layer.
For years, I was under the misconception that Nicki was the only female in the world who could make me feel alive. Then I met Sky, and damn was that a faulty impression to imprison a young mind. The words 'I love you' captivated me and my heart fluttered, staring into velella irises as I took Sky in by the face for a hot, wet kiss. One struck by the fear of letting the words fall from my lips just the same.
I secured a towel around hips, entering the bedroom to find Sky lying on her stomach, messing around on her phone. Nearing her, I placed minty lips to her bare back for a slow drag as she squirmed underneath, wiggling in the opposite direction with a smile. The sheets were laid perfectly across her derriere, causing my curiosity to flow as I admired the tiny thumb craters luring my hands. I sat beside her, gently drawing back the cotton fibers. Not breaking away from her device, I proceeded to lightly trace my fingertips down the curve of her hip and chill bumps waved across her flesh, leaving an expanded ribcage. Sky dropped her head, finally releasing her cell phone.
“God, sometimes I hate how good it feels when you touch me.”
“Why is that?” I grinned.
Sky turned over to her back, pulling me to her face with a whisper. “Because of how fucking wet you make me.”
I drew in an aggressive breath through my teeth, feeling myself getting excited. “Is that so?”
I pressed my lips against her sternum, leaving a trail of kisses down and around her breasts, running the tip of my tongue over each mound. Her back arched beneath the warmth of my breath as I made my way down to her naval. My posture became slump as I lowered to my knees in the midst of giving a light bite to the inside of her thighs. Feeling her quiver from excitement, warm liquid seeped into my facial hair as I burrowed my tongue between moist folds. I released a deep groan, vibrating her tumescent flesh, hearing her sigh and moan from the transcendence of aspired pleasure. Opening my eyes, I watched Sky slowly squirm, gripping my hair with one hand while leaving the other to roam freely about the sheets. I wanted to make the occasion last, so I merely teased with a slow pudendum circulation until she was practically throbbing for release. When I exceeded in pace, Sky climaxed instantly as her body immobilized-- lungs striving for the air with a tremored sculpture. “Malice... st--stop! I can’t take anymore!” Sky bit out.
I backed away with a grunt of dissatisfaction. I didn’t want to stop, I wanted more. “No female has ever turned me on as much as you. Now, I’m knelt down before you in egotistical distress only because I want all of you, Sky.” I sighed.
Unable to catch her breath, a curled finger invited me for more. “Then get up here and show me just how badly you want me.
Hours later, I cracked my eyes just enough to bring the room into focus. Sky was passed out beside me, so I didn’t bother waking her. I checked my phone to see that it was already 6 AM, stressing because we still had to figure out what the fuck we were supposed to do, or where we were supposed to even go from here. I hated knowing I got Sky mixed up in this catastrophic disaster that lied ahead. What was worse was that I was taking her from her home; even though she was more than willing to come, I knew deep down inside that it wasn’t right. Somehow, I had to redeem myself and get my life straightened out before I was stuck behind four walls. Either way, things weren’t looking so good for me but like that was anything new to me, considering tragedy seemed to be the story of my life.
Photo credit to the author. Thank you, S. Altman and S. Gregory <3